


I Love My Desire

by no_more_llama_drama



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), ATEEZ (Band), B.A.P, Block B, Dreamcatcher (Korea Band), Monsta X (Band), N.Flying (Band), NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chan is also an amazing leader, Dreamcatcher is a magic cult as is befitting of them, Hongjoong and Chan have the best friendship, Hongjoong is a fantastic leader, and emotional moments too, basically action and adventure balanced with a lot of emotional times, broken people trying to heal in a messed up world, more groups to be added later, this is somewhat of a slow burn and there's a lot of character development, threw some shade at YG because why not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2019-10-27 15:09:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 44,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17769119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_more_llama_drama/pseuds/no_more_llama_drama
Summary: War has devastated the earth, leaving only ruins and a few hardy survivors alive. They band together in small groups to survive, but safety is never guaranteed in a world like this. There's been an uneasy peace between the groups for years, but how long can it last until someone makes a move?Told from the perspective of ATEEZ (primarily Hongjoong/Yeosang), but heavily featuring many other groups. Essentially a kpop post-apocalyptic AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to my first fanfiction in many, many years! I have ATEEZ to thank for inspiring me to finally write again. "I can totally see Hongjoong as the leader of some dystopian group of rebels," I thought to myself, and somehow thousands of words later I ended up here. Feedback is always appreciated! I haven't 100% decided all the groups that will be in this, so expect some potential surprises. Also, apologies in advance for not featuring every member of every group equally.

“You said you saw someone you didn’t recognize around here.” Hongjoong gave Mingi a pointed look. “Or did you just drag us out here for the fun of it?”

  
“I did! He’s definitely not one of the Stray Kids boys. What would they be doing out there, anyway?” Mingi insisted. The two boys surveyed the barren desert landscape, a few rock formations the only thing breaking up the monotony of endless waves of sand.

  
Wooyoung jogged up to them and shrugged. “Nothing over by the oasis either. Maybe it was all a mirage.”

  
Mingi sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s just look a little longer. It won’t get dark for another few hours.”

  
“Maybe NCT already found him and took him in? I swear they double their numbers every few months,” Wooyoung offered.

  
Hongjoong cast Mingi one more look before deciding, “There’s one last place to look, and then we’re going back. We can’t risk getting stuck out here. We’re getting close to Dreamcatcher territory, you know.”

  
“We have a non-aggression pact with them, though.” Wooyoung frowned. “They basically just keep to themselves, anyway.”

  
Hongjoong pursed his lips and shook his head. “That’s true, but…”

  
The realization hit Wooyoung. “Oh. Right. The giant spiders. They do sometimes wander.”

  
“And we both know how Mingi feels about those.” Hongjoong turned towards Mingi. “Still coming along? Even though their little pets might be scurrying about the palace?”

  
Mingi glared at him and, without a word, strode off towards the abandoned palace. It was a good hour’s walk away, and most of it passed in silence. You’d think a building like that—which had survived so much and was left mostly standing—would have been claimed by now. The tall walls leant themselves to easy defense. Murals still decorated the inside rooms, and the courtyards even had some vegetation remaining. Mingi had proposed, initially, that ATEEZ make it their base. Yet Hongjoong had flatly turned it down. Too risky, he said. He wouldn’t elaborate on why. Then Dreamcatcher moved into the closest forest, and the territory in-between had become an uneasy no man’s land.

  
In the afternoon light, the palace loomed large. A chill swept through the air and the shadows seemed to dance. Wooyoung could see why Hongjoong thought Dreamcatcher might be at work here. “We’re going to split up so we can cover the most ground as efficiently as possible,” Hongjoong ordered. “Wooyoung, you take the back rooms. Mingi, the left-most rooms. I’ll search the right-hand rooms.” Mingi paled at the words “split up,” but he accepted Hongjoong’s command, walking off with his hands in pockets, shoulders back stride that was all fake confidence.

  
Hongjoong passed through the courtyard, keeping his head on constant rotation, searching for anything that seemed out of place. Fresh food scraps, fresh blood, torn clothes—anything that didn’t belong in a thousands of years old palace that had survived multiple world wars. He did discover several smashed pieces of pottery, but honestly, that could have been his fault the last time ATEEZ had gone running out of here. He couldn’t honestly say he remembered.

  
“One more room,” he mumbled to himself, “Damn, it’s getting dark.” He gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the low light and then peered around. Toppled furniture, smashed pots, a jean jacket, cracked tiles—wait, what? Hongjoong turned his head towards where he’d seen the jacket again, approaching it slowly. As he got closer, he could make out a crumpled figure laying on the floor. Hongjoong crouched down, searching for signs of life and being rewarded by the barely visible rise and fall of the boy’s chest.

  
“Hello?” Hongjoong asked softly. Receiving no response, he reached out and touched the boy’s shoulder, intent on turning him over and searching for injuries. He felt a shudder beneath him, and the boy’s eyes snapped opened. The first thing Hongjoong noticed—even in this poorly lit room—was the fierceness of his eyes. They screamed horrors seen, horrors survived, a desire to live, the fight to make it happen.

  
“Who are you?” the boy demanded, trying to sit up but failing and slumping over. He was skinny and frail, as if he hadn’t had a proper meal in weeks. Not an unlikely assessment, Hongjoong thought to himself.

  
“I’m Hongjoong. My friend Mingi thought he saw you in the desert the other day, so we went looking for you.”

  
“Why…would you do that?” the boy asked, his eyes narrowing.

  
“Life in this world is easier if you have people by your side, rather than trying to make it all on your own,” Hongjoong offered simply.

  
The boy looked unconvinced, and Hongjoong couldn’t help but wonder where he’d come from and what he’d been doing before. “What’s your name? My friends and I would be happy to take you back to our base, give you a meal. Treat any injuries. Then you can decide if you’d like to stay.”

  
A moment of silence passed before the boy answered, “Yeosang.”

  
“Well then, Yeosang.” Hongjoong tilted his head, a small smile on his lips, and offered him a hand. “Will you be my friend?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Mingi! Wooyoung!” Hongjoong stepped out into the courtyard and called their names. Yeosang had collapsed once again after shakily accepting Hongjoong’s handshake, and Hongjoong knew that they needed to get him back to base as quickly as possible.

The two boys emerged from their respective sections of the palace, Wooyoung shaking his head. “Nothing, not a single sign,” he said, a worried look on his face.

“I know, because I found him,” Hongjoong supplied. Before Mingi and Wooyoung could ask questions, he added, “He’s not in good shape. Mingi, can you carry him back?” Hongjoong was already turning, going back to where he had left Yeosang. Mingi and Wooyoung followed him silently, although he knew later they would bombard him for more information.

Mingi sucked in his breath when he saw Yeosang, splayed on his side and taking shallow breaths. Hongjoong read his questioning look and said, “I checked him for injuries. Nothing visible, other than bruises and scratches. I’m hoping it’s just exhaustion, dehydration, and hunger, but who knows about internal injuries. Be gentle with him.”

Mingi nodded. “Carrying him on my back would be better, in case we need to run. But I don’t know if he’ll be able to hold on properly.”

“Here, I’ll help position him,” Wooyoung offered. The two boys finally got him settled on Mingi’s back, as Hongjoong chewed on his lip and stared out at the rapidly darkening sky.

“Right, let’s go back. Quickly this time, no detours,” he said, giving a meaningful look at Wooyoung, who avoided his eyes. The four boys left the palace, with Yeosang still silent and eyes closed, despite the bumpy ride on Mingi’s back.

When Hongjoong had first established ATEEZ’s base, he had insisted the desert was a good thing. No one wanted the desert, after all. It was mostly lifeless except for an array of poisonous creatures, dangerous in its potential for blisteringly hot days and freezingly cold nights, a constantly shifting sea of sand with seemingly no end in sight. Having it between them and all the groups towards the east made for the perfect barrier. Most days, Hongjoong felt confident in his decision. On nights like this, with the prospect of a good three hour trek across the desert to get back home confronting him, he felt a seed of doubt in the back of his head. Yet as he took the lead ahead of Mingi, Wooyoung, and Yeosang, on the constant lookout for any danger, he had no choice but to push those voices of self-doubt to the side. After all, in this world, self-doubt was more dangerous than any desert could be.

Yeosang opened his eyes to an unfamiliar room, with unfamiliar voices filling the air. He scrambled to remember how he’d gotten here, flashes of a brown-haired boy filtering through his head.

“Hongjoong, he’s awake!” he heard someone say, and within moments that same brown-haired boy appeared in front of him again.

“I’m glad to see you awake,” Hongjoong said with a smile. “Here’s a glass of water, can you hold it?”

Yeosang’s hands were a bit shaky but he grasped the glass anyway, greedily chugging it as if Hongjoong might snatch it back at any second.

“Careful now,” Hongjoong warned him with a slight chuckle, “We don’t want you getting sick. Do you think you can keep some food down? Seonghwa made extra this morning, just in case.”

Yeosang nodded. As much as he hated to admit it, he was hardly in a position to turn down anyone’s generosity right now. Besides, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to lay down on a soft surface, with a blanket pulled over him. It was almost enough to make him want to stay. Almost.

 “Good, I’ll go get some for you. I’ll refill your glass, too, if you want,” Hongjoong smiled again, and Yeosang reluctantly relinquished the glass from his grasp. With Hongjoong disappearing from his sight, Yeosang surveyed the rest of the room. It was large, with metal sheet walls—a former factory, maybe? A black-haired boy with distinctive red streaks laid on a couch across from him, head buried in a book. Four other boys were sitting at an old, rickety wooden table, engrossed in conversation that Yeosang couldn’t quite make out. A single, flickering light bulb was the only source of light in the room, other than a few windows. Hongjoong soon emerged from another room, a blonde-haired boy carrying a plate of food trailing behind him. He said something to the boys at the table and the boy on the couch as he passed by them, and they got up and followed him. Yeosang watched them carefully, but honestly the worst emotion he could perceive was indifference.

“Here you are,” Hongjoong said, and the blonde-haired boy handed Yeosang a plate, with potatoes, some kind of mysterious green plant, and equally unidentifiable meat. He was hardly going to complain, though, and accepted the plate.

“Be careful, the potatoes are still hot,” the blonde-haired boy, Seonghwa, warned. Yeosang poked at them cautiously and nodded.

“So,” Hongjoong began. The boys settled into a circle, facing Yeosang, with Hongjoong in the middle. “I have a proposal for you.” Whatever it was, Yeosang felt that he could hardly turn it down. Yet he found himself nodding anyway. “You answer a question of ours, we’ll answer a question of yours,” Hongjoong offered. It was a surprisingly generous offer, all things considered. Yeosang noticed a few of the boys giving each other skeptical looks, but none of them spoke up against Hongjoong.

“OK,” Yeosang agreed. “What do you want to know first?”

“How did you end up in that palace? And what were you doing when Mingi first saw you in the desert?”

Technically, this was two questions. Yet as soon as he took a bite of the food, Yeosang found it difficult to care. The room fell into silence as he ate, before he remembered that he was meant to be talking. Setting aside the food long enough to talk was a difficult task, but he began, “I come from the north. I left on my own, just started wandering. I suppose I wasn’t well enough prepared. I had no idea there was a desert in these parts. I got lost, ended up wandering around, took shelter in the palace I guess. I don’t really remember.” He resumed eating. He figured these boys were smart enough to know that wasn’t the full story. No one left on their own and just started wandering around—not unless they had a death wish.

“Alright, what do you want to know, then?” Hongjoong asked. Yeosang was surprised Hongjoong didn’t push him for more information. Somehow, this put him more on edge.

“Where are we now? And where’d you get this food?” Yeosang asked. Two questions, right back at them.

“We’re in the west,” Hongjoong said, “It’s an old manufacturing town. Home base for us, ATEEZ. As for the food, most of it is from one of our alliance groups, N.Flying. They live on the outskirts of this town, and they’re under our protection.” Yeosang could swear he heard a steeliness to Hongjoong’s voice with the last sentence. “Now, you said you left on your own. But who were you allied with before?” Hongjoong asked.

To say no one would be such a preposterous answer that Yeosang knew he couldn’t push his luck. “BTS,” he answered, reluctantly, before returning to his food once more.

Murmurs rippled through the circle, with all eyes going to a silver-haired boy. He shrugged, “I don’t recognize him. But I left a long time ago.”

“Still, that’s not a group you want to mess with. Especially these days…” a black-haired boy said, his eyes trained on Yeosang.

“We’re pretty far removed from them, and they might assume he’s dead anyway. Regardless, that’s not a decision we need to make now,” Hongjoong intervened. He looked back at Yeosang. “Do you have any other questions for us?” There was an implication there, Yeosang knew. Questions that they would actually be willing to answer.

He looked down at his mostly empty plate before returning Hongjoong’s gaze. “Who else are you allied with?” He wondered how far he could push his luck. “And how’d you come to be allied with N.Flying?”

“Is he just evaluating us? Trying to see how much of a threat we pose?” he heard one of the boys say in a not so subtle whisper.

“Isn’t it what you’d be asking in the same situation?” Hongjoong replied. The look he gave Yeosang told him that really, he was the one being evaluated. “N.Flying used to be part of the FNC alliance, but they got left behind when FNC moved south. FNC wasn’t willing to support them any longer, but they wanted to stay here since they had put so much effort into restoring the fields. So we offered them our protection in exchange for some of their crops. It’s been a good deal for both of us.” Yeosang nodded. It _was_ a smart deal for both of them, given how much time most small groups spent just trying to get the basic necessities to survive.

“As for the other groups we’re allied with, strictly speaking, it’s just the one,” Hongjoong continued, “They’re called A.C.E. You see, a few of us used to be in an alliance called Mixnine. Myself, Mingi, Wooyoung, and Jongho,” he listed out, and each of the boys nodded. “We met many wonderful people there. Unfortunately, the leader of the alliance turned out to be a horrible, backstabbing person, with no concern for anyone but himself. So we all went our separate ways. But when we met up with some of the former members and found they were now in a group of their own called A.C.E., it was easy to strike up an alliance deal.” Hongjoong finished speaking and stood up. “Now, I think that’s plenty of information for you to chew on. And now I only have one more question for you.”

Yeosang set his now empty plate to the side and pushed himself into a sitting position. “And what’s that?” he asked.

“I’ve got a mission for you. Will you take it?” Hongjoong asked.

Before Yeosang could even begin to respond, the room went into an uproar. Clearly, that not a question any of them had been expecting.

“We have no real idea of who this guy is, or where he’s from. He could be a complete liar, and you want to give _him_ a mission?” protested Seonghwa.

“And what we do know, if he’s telling the truth, could make him a huge liability,” insisted one of the dark-haired boys.

“Hongjoong, I know I pushed to rescue him, and I still believe that was the right thing to do, but…don’t you think you’re being a bit rash? You don’t know even know what skills he has,” pushed the tall, lanky boy.  

Hongjoong waited for the clamoring to die down before speaking. “It’s a recon mission, and I think he’d be a good fit for it. No one will know that he’s associated with us. Yes, we don’t know what skills he has, but if he really did escape from the north, that’s a hell of a journey to survive. And finally, you know how I feel about accepting new members. I want them to want to be here. If we let him go and he still comes back, then we’ll know he really wants to be here, and he’s not just feeling indebted or like he’s being held hostage.” Hongjoong’s tone was firm. “So, Yeosang, what do you say? Once you’re back to full strength, are you up to it?”

“What if I say no?” Yeosang asked.

“Then we’ll escort off our territory and leave you be,” Hongjoong said with a shrug. He had a talent, Yeosang noted, for very making threats sound very subdued and casual.

The room fell silent once more. Yeosang had the distinct feeling that as much as they might complain, the other boys would back Hongjoong’s decision—whatever it might—in the end. But it wasn’t the threat that motivated his response. It was a different feeling, a mixture of curiosity and the strange sense that this unfamiliar place could be a home. “Alright, I’ll do it. So what does this mission entail?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of Part 1! Part 2 coming soon (TM).

A week had passed, and Yeosang had recovered most of his strength. The first few days he had spent on the couch inside, although as time passed he was able to get up, walk on his own, and go outside. Hongjoong or Mingi always accompanied if he left the warehouse, and they never let him go further than a few minutes down the dirt road. Mingi, Yeosang guessed, felt some sense of obligation towards him since he had apparently spearheaded the rescue mission. The rest of the boys mostly ignored him—either because they didn’t yet trust him, didn’t watch to get attached to him when he might permanently leave, or both.

Yeosang was getting restless, though, being cooped up like this. Sure, he got free meals, and he even got some strange herbal remedy put on the worst of his scratches. But he was used to being on his own and having the freedom to go where he wanted. This strange limbo, of being around others and yet apart from them, hurt him more than he would like to admit.

On an evening walk, he finally turned to Hongjoong. “I think I’m ready. Can you tell me the details of this mission?”

“Are you sure?” Hongjoong asked, “You’re free to take more time to recover, if you like. We’re not trying to kill, you know. Personally, I’d like you to come back to us alive.”

Although Hongjoong spoke in a light tone, Yeosang sensed sincerity beneath it. Or maybe that was just what he was hoping for. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he replied, “No, I’m sure. I feel basically fine now. I’m ready.”

“If you insist,” Hongjoong shrugged, “so, how familiar are you with the groups in this area?”

“Not too familiar,” Yeosang confessed.

“Right, well,” Hongjoong said, “there’s quite a few players here, but I’m most concerned with NCT. They’re large, and they’ve got some advanced technology. Not to mention a number of alliances. So far we’ve managed to stay out of conflict with them, but we can’t be guaranteed that’ll last forever. And if we are going to fight, we need to know what we’re up against. So your mission is to find out their current status—how many members they have, who they’re allied with, and if you can, what kind of tech they possess. Do that, and report back to us.”

He made it sound so simple, as if all Yeosang had to do was take a short stroll, jot a few notes about what he saw, and be back in time for dinner. Yet he knew it’d be anything but easy, especially given how most groups treated those they caught invading their territory. “Right, I can do that,” Yeosang found himself agreeing.

“Great,” Hongjoong smiled and patted him on the back. The contact made Yeosang jump. “San drew you a map and Seonghwa prepared some supplies. We estimate that this journey should take around five to six days, certainly no longer than a week. If you can’t figure out the name of a group they’re allied to, a description will do as well. Same for any tech you find. Any questions?”

 _Yes, why am I following along with everything this guy says?_ Yeosang thought to himself, but rather than voice that he shook his head. “No, I understand. I’ll leave tomorrow morning, then.”

San’s map was beautifully drawn and included a number of details, including the best paths to take, different flags to watch out for, and areas to stay away from. On the other hand, Seonghwa’s supplies were clearly an amalgamation of scraps and leftovers. Still, it beat foraging for himself. His hand went to the knife sheathed at the hip. _You look like the type,_ was all Hongjoong had said as he offered it to him. Yeosang wasn’t sure how he’d been able to tell.

Based on San’s drawing, it looked like he had about a day and a half of following the mixed woodlands adjacent to the desert until he reached NCT territory. Rumor said it was once f(x) territory, but it had been strangely quiet as of late, and Hongjoong had mentioned it was possible another group had moved in. _Keep your wits about you, and let us know if you notice anything,_ he had added. Somehow, every time Hongjoong spoke, Yeosang’s mission got more complex.

The first day was uneventful, although every time he heard ever the slightest rustle, Yeosang’s hand shot to his hip. He was reluctant to sleep in a strange place so close to enemy territory, but eventually he had to admit he needed rest. Yeosang set up base next to an old tree trunk, gathering enough branches and leaves to make something resembling a shelter. He hadn’t intended to sleep, just to sit and eat for a bit. But at some point, he must have drifted off. His eyes snapped open with the first rays of dawn, and he mentally kicked himself. Letting his guard down like that was the perfect way to get kidnapped or killed. He had nodded off with his supplies clutched in his arms, and everything still seemed to be in place. Somehow, he had retained his new knife as well. Sighing, he stood up and cleared his small encampment, doing his best to make it look like no one had ever been there. As he resumed his trek, he couldn’t shake the feeling he was being watched. There were no noises. In fact, that was the problem. It was entirely too quiet. There was nothing to do but to keep walking, though, so Yeosang continued on the path San had designed for him. Hours passed, and afternoon light began to filter through the trees.

One moment, Yeosang had been totally alone. The next, several men melted into view. Yeosang had no time to prepare a response; they were simply suddenly _there_ , in front of him.

A red-haired man stepped forward. Although he wasn’t particularly tall, he had an imposing aura about him, which the slit in his eyebrow only accentuated. His movements were lithe but powerful, and everything about him screamed danger. At least until he opened his mouth.

“Hello, I’m Taeyong. Leader of NCT. And who might you be?” he asked, pleasantly.

The lightness in his tone was such a contrast to his appearance that it was disconcerting. It reminded Yeosang of Hongjoong, but there was something distinctly different about Taeyong.

Still, this was no time to be caught up in his thoughts. “I’m just a passing traveler,” Yeosang offered. The less he said, the better.

“Is that so?” Taeyong crooked an eyebrow. “We don’t get many travelers around here.”

“I came from the south, so I wasn’t familiar with this area.” The feeling that he was being watched had persisted, and now it seemed to be coming from behind him. Yeosang turned, slightly, until he finally caught sight of a girl perched in a tree to his left. She was high up, near the top of the branches, and more importantly, she was armed with a crossbow.

Taeyong’s eyes followed where Yeosang was looking. “Oh, you’re a perceptive one,” he praised. “You see, we at NCT don’t like violence. We just want to rebuild the world, make it a better place. Recover what humanity lost—no, surpass it. Our allies Red Velvet, though…” Taeyong shrugged, as if to say _what can you do._

“That’s an admirable goal,” Yeosang said, his eyes still flitting back and forth between the girl in the tree and Taeyong. The men who had been standing behind him had spread out, and somehow once again, more had appeared out of nowhere. His escape routes were rapidly closing off.

“Isn’t it?” Taeyong’s eyes lit up, and what might have been a genuine smile passed across his face. “Still, these are troubled times, and you understand that we have to be careful about who we let in to our territory. Who were you allied with, in the south?”

Yeosang didn’t have the slightest clue what groups were active in the south, let alone what the right answer would have been. So he did the logical thing to do, once you’ve talked yourself in a corner while being surrounded by a girl with a crossbow and a small army of men.

He ran for his life.

He opted to run right through two of the men standing close to the tree that the crossbow girl was perched in, hoping that would give her pause before shooting. He wriggled out of the grasp of one of the men and kept running, but the sound of an arrow whizzing past him killed his hopes of avoiding the crossbow girl. Yeosang ran as fast as his legs could carry him, cursing himself for not taking Hongjoong’s advice and waiting just a little longer before taking this mission. Surely he could run faster than this.

The sound of another arrow spurred him on, as he tried to make his movements as chaotic and unpredictable as possible. This worked, to the extent that no arrows hit any fatal points. Still, he could see blood trickling down his arm from where an arrow had grazed him, along with another cut in his leg. He willed himself to continue on. The desert was in sight—perhaps the only time he’d be grateful for that.

Yeosang had no idea how long he’d been running for when he finally allowed himself to turn around and look over his shoulder. No NCT or Red Velvet members were visible, and he couldn’t imagine how they would disguise themselves in the desert. They must have calculated that he wasn’t worth going after, only chasing off. If they had wanted to, they could have caught and killed him. Of that, he was certain.

Heaving, Yeosang doubled over. His lungs were burning, his stomach was churning, and his legs felt like they would never stop shaking. He allowed himself a moment to get his breathing under control, and then when that failed, another moment. He had collapsed into the sand, but eventually he was able to breathe without intense pain. Realizing that he had absolutely nowhere idea where he was, Yeosang rifled through his supplies for San’s map.

It was gone.

He looked through them again, going so far as to take every single item out of the small satchel he’d been given, but the map was definitively not there. It must have gone flying out during his desperate escape. Not entirely surprising, but completely frustrating.

Yeosang felt tears prick at his eyes, and rubbing his sandy sleeve over them only made it worse. Just over a week ago, he had collapsed in the desert, ready for death to take him. He had been saved, but here he was yet again, in the same situation. Because of what? His own recklessness? Failure to stay alert? Desire to prove himself to complete strangers? All of the above?

He slammed a fist into the sand, although at this point he was so weak it barely disturbed the sand. What he was going to do, then? Give up and wait for the elements to take him? Wander around and hope to find ATEEZ again? Would they even take him back after his complete and utter failure?

 _Failure._ Yeosang hated that word, yet it seemed to follow him wherever he went. And yet—he couldn’t quite force himself to keep laying there, throwing himself a pity party.

Instead, he forced himself to his feet and he got _mad_. Mad at himself, mad at the world, mad at his predecessors for having stupid wars that that led to him being in this situation, instead of happily playing games at home or whatever it was that people used to do.

Anger, they say, is a bad long-term fuel. It eats at you, it makes you do bad things. Anger is what led to wars that almost destroyed the world.

Anger, however, as it turns out, is excellent fuel for dragging yourself through a desert when your body is broken and has been pushed past its limits twice over in a week’s time.

With every step, Yeosang cursed something. Himself. NCT. Red Velvet. Hongjoong’s mission. The state of the world. Over and over, it made for a surprisingly helpful rhythm. That was, until he a saw a spider the size of his head crawl by him. Followed by one twice the size of that.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he remembered Hongjoong warning him about something to do with spiders. The words were hazy, though, obscured by pain and anger and whatever will he had to keep living.

Vaguely, his eyes followed the spiders, only to be met with several girls, all wearing black robes, staring straight at him.

Clearly, Yeosang had been blessed with an inordinate amount of luck in his life. The only thing better than running into one enemy group in a day was to run into a second while heavily injured. At least there were less of these girls, although he didn’t fancy his chances against the spiders.

A girl with short hair stepped forward. “We are members of Dreamcatcher. Are you are?” Her voice was surprisingly low and deep.

 _Dreamcatcher._ Yeosang had heard that name somewhere before, he was sure of it. “I’m Yeosang,” he answered. At this point, lies were more tiring than the truth.

“He looks like hell,” one of the girls noted.

Yeosang could hardly argue with that. All he wanted, in the moment, was to be alone. No, better yet, what he wanted for was someone to care of him. To not have to worry about how to survive anymore. To feel at peace. To…

“He’s literally staggering around, I don’t think he’s really listening,” another of the girls observed. Yeosang blinked, realizing that he had missed whatever else had been said.

“Look,” said the short-haired girl, “This isn’t technically our territory, but you’re damn close to it. Just tell us who you’re with so we know what to do with you.” Her expression was almost bored.

Yeosang surprised himself with the words that came out of his mouth next. “ATEEZ.”

The girls turned to each other, exchanging whispers. “You don’t look like one of them. We know the people we keep pacts with,” the short-haired girl said.

“No, I am…really,” Yeosang said, although the hesitation in voice meant he failed to sound convincing, even to himself.

“You’re a bad liar,” the short-haired girl observed.

“He is, but he’s not lying about that,” said a male voice. One Yeosang recognized.

“Hongjoong!” exclaimed the short-haired girl.

“Hey, Dami,” Hongjoong smiled at her, “Give Jiu my regards, okay?”

Dami pursed her lips. “He’s really one of yours?”

“New recruit,” Hongjoong explained. Yeosang could only stare dumbly at him.

Dami shook her head. “Take better care of where you send your members. You know the rules of the pact.”

“Won’t happen again,” Hongjoong assured her, with another easy smile.

Dami stared at him before finally shrugging. “You always were the kind of leader to do things your own way. And I can respect that.” With that, the girls put their hoods up and faded into the desert night.

“Right, let’s get you home. You look a right mess,” Hongjoong observed.

Yeosang stayed rooted to the spot. “How…did you find me?”

Hongjoong ran a hand through his hair. “Mingi’s been making rounds near our part of the grassland. I’ve been patrolling the desert. If anything went wrong, I figured you’d end up here. I couldn’t risk going into NCT territory, but I stuck along the border. I’ll admit I waited to hear what you’d say to Dreamcatcher, though.”

This was all entirely too much for Yeosang to process, and he could feel his legs threatening to give way beneath him.

“Here, lean on me. We need to get you home and see to those wounds as soon as possible.”

“Home?” Yeosang questioned.

“You’re a member of ATEEZ, right?” Hongjoong asked, slinging Yeosang’s non-injured arm around his shoulder.

“But I failed the mission and I pissed NCT and Red Velvet off and I lost San’s map and this is the second time you’ve found me in the desert and…” Yeosang’s words began to slur together.

Hongjoong took a moment to process that information, even as he guided Yeosang to walk alongside him. “You’re going to have to tell me more about all that later. But for now, you want to be a member of ATEEZ, right?”

“…Yes. I do. Yes,” Yeosang could feel the last bit of coherent thought leaving him, and yet he felt utterly convinced that this was the right answer.

Hongjoong smiled. “Then let’s go home, Yeosang.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally get to write about N.Flying and A.C.E.! I had such a fun time writing this part and I can't wait to bring them back. All in good time!

All things considered, Yeosang was settling in well.

Sure, he had to endure quite the lecture from Hongjoong—featuring phrases like _how could you lose a map that literally gives the enemy all our routes_ and _at least you didn’t threaten to stab Dreamcatcher, that really would have been the icing on the cake_ —but did deserve it. Besides, afterwards Hongjoong had taken him out on boundary patrol for the first time, letting Yeosang get out of the house without putting his life in an inordinate amount of danger.

Boundary patrols were just one of the many jobs members of ATEEZ scheduled every week. Someone had to go down to N.Flying’s farms each day to check on them, and as Yeosang quickly learned, offer to help with any needed tasks. Wooyoung had accompanied him the first time and ended up doubled over laughing when Yeosang and Jaehyun got in a staring match over a rake.

“Damn, you win!” Jaehyun said, when he finally blinked and started laughing. “You have such intense eyes, it’s gonna be hard to win against you.”

“Win…?” Yeosang asked.

“The staring competition!” Jaehyun said, leaning the rake against a pile of firewood.

“The what?” Yeosang asked, as Wooyoung guffawed off to the side.

Jaehyun furrowed his brow. “We were having a staring competition…”

“We were?” Yeosang questioned. The more confused he got, the more his face flushed, and the more Wooyoung laughed.

Jaehyun picked up a bucket full of tools. “Wait, what did you think we were doing?”

“I was trying to figure out what that was,” Yeosang said, nodding towards the rake.

“You don’t know?” Jaehyun’s eyes lit up like it was the best news he’d heard in weeks. “Oh, this is going to be fun! Hang on, I gotta get Hun for this. Stay right here!”

Having had his share of amusement for the day, Wooyoung waved to Yeosang. “Well, enjoy yourself! I have to go practice with Yunho. See ya.” With that, he jogged off, leaving Yeosang rooted to the ground, unsure what was coming next.

Jaehyun returned, dragging a small black-haired boy with him. “This is Hun,” he said by way of explanation. “What’s your name again?”

“Yeosang. What’s yours?”

“I’m Jaehyun! Oh man, okay, come with us. You’re gonna love farming. Our potato crop is about to come in, so you’re gonna be a real _spud_ by the end of today. Get it?” Jaehyun slapped his knee and laughed at his own joke. Yeosang didn’t get it, as a matter of fact, but Jaehyun’s enthusiasm—and Hun’s deadpan reactions to half of what Jaehyun did—eventually started to make him chuckle.

Jaehyun was a surprisingly good farming teacher, for someone who seemed to take so little seriously. With Hun’s help, he showed Yeosang how to use each of the tools. “You’ll be a pro in no time!” Jaehyun assured him. “Well, Seunghyub and Hweseung are still working on fixing our hand plows before next planting season, so you’ll have to wait to try those. But I’m sure you’ll pick that up quickly too!” Jaehyun also seemed to hold an otherworldly knowledge of plants in his head, knowing minute details of everything Yeosang could think to ask about, from species identification to harvest time to planting procedures.

Covered in sweat and dirt, having seen an incredible amount of bugs, and having touched more animal dung than any one person should in a lifetime, Yeosang was surprised by how much he had enjoyed his farming experience. Jaehyun had sent him off with an extra apple— _don’t tell anyone, though, or they’ll think I’m playing favorites!_ he’d added with a laugh—and Yeosang found himself actually wanting to come back soon.

Yeosang wasn’t quite able to do so, though, given the variety of tasks he had to carry out. Everyone had to participate in weapons training and boundary patrols, but beyond that, they rotated tasks. Hongjoong had asked him if he had a specialty. When he’d answered no, Hongjoong told him he should try everything at least a few times before deciding if there was anything he wanted to focus on. Yunho, for example, was a skilled hunter. He was often out of the house, sometimes on days-long tracking missions into the mountains. Jongho was also frequently away for long periods of time, as he enjoyed going out to the ruins of the ancient cities, scavenging for whatever useful supplies might remain. He’d bring back scraps of metal and other odd bits and ends, which San would fiddle with for days on end until he finally made something useful out of it. Apparently San had been responsible for a number of the tools N.Flying used, having based the design ideas off what he’d read in books. Nothing made San happier than when Jongho returned from ruin diving with a new book in tow. Mingi primarily worked on charting ATEEZ’s territory and the surrounding areas, marking useful spots and feeding information to San for maps. Wooyoung worked out in the forests, gathering supplies ranging from wood to the herbs that Seonghwa used for medical treatments. When he wasn’t cooking (which did take a good chunk of his time, feeding now eight hungry boys), Seonghwa poured over his plant collection, occasionally consulting with Jaehyun for details.

Yeosang had seen Hongjoong as both a leader and a jack of all trades, able to help with just about anything that might arise. It wasn’t until A.C.E. arrived that he saw Hongjoong’s specialty. When Wooyoung had announced that he’d spotted A.C.E. and they’d be arriving soon, Hongjoong’s eyes lit up.  

“We haven’t seen them in a good while. They’re wanderers,” he explained to Yeosang. “Kinda the opposite of N.Flying. They survive on their own for the most part, but sometimes they’ll stop by with gifts and hang out for a while. We’ll give them anything extra we have that might be useful for them. They’re ingenious, really. They figured out to eat _cactus._ Can you believe that?”

“That is impressive,” Yeosang conceded, wishing he’d been able to work that out back when he was hopelessly wandering the desert. “Is that why you’re so excited to see them?”

Hongjoong shook his head. “No. Well, yes, it’s always fun to see what they’ve come up with, but they bring me this plant. I don’t know where they get it, neither Mingi or Wooyoung have ever been able to find it. But I can use to make clothes!”

Yeosang was taken aback, “You make clothes?”

Hongjoong seemed a bit affronted. “Who do you think made the shirt you’re wearing?”

Truthfully, Yeosang had never even considered it. His thoughts were interrupted by knocking at the doors. Apparently, letting A.C.E. arrive on their own, rather than having Wooyoung escort them, was a sign of trust and respect.

Hongjoong sprung up and practically ran to open the doors, greeting A.C.E. warmly. Yeosang stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, uncertain of what he was supposed to do. Luckily, Hongjoong took care of it for him.

“This is our new recruit, Yeosang,” he said, gesturing towards Yeosang, who stepped forward.

“Um, it’s nice to meet you,” Yeosang said.

A black-haired boy offered Yeosang his hand, “I’m Jun, A.C.E.’s leader. It’s great to meet another member of ATEEZ.” His warm smile helped relieve some of Yeosang’s anxiety, and he returned Jun’s handshake.

“I’m Byeongkwan! You must be loving it here with ATEEZ,” the next boy introduced himself.

Jun glanced over his shoulder, “Wait, where did the others go?”

“Donghun already went to return San’s book and get a new one,” Byeongkwan said, jerking a thumb over to where San and an unfamiliar boy were having an animated conversation. Turning to Yeosang, he added, “Every time he finishes whatever book San has lent him, he complains that we need to come back as soon as possible. Usually he ends up having to read the same book two or three times, though.”

“San loves having someone as interested in his books as he is,” Hongjoong said, “I’m honestly glad he has Donghun.”

Jun, unfortunately, had been distracted. “Chan, stop that!” he yelled, and Yeosang followed Jun’s line of sight until he noticed Wooyoung on the floor, grappling with another boy.

“I’m so sorry,” Jun turned to Hongjoong and apologized, but Hongjoong waved it off.

“They’re having a good time of it,” Hongjoong observed, just as Wooyoung succeeded in pinning Chan down.

“Yes! Payback for last time,” Wooyoung announced triumphantly.

Chan grunted, and then pushed Wooyoung backwards, “Don’t get ahead of yourself!” Although Jun looked nervous, Hongjoong watched them tussle with amusement.

“Sehyoon’s talking plants with Seonghwa, by the way,” Hongjoong informed Jun.

Jun sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Trying to keep these boys under control is as futile as trying to pick all the sand out of the desert.”

Hongjoong chuckled, “Being a leader can be tough.”

“Oh, right! I have the clothes-making plant you wanted. We got a great haul this time,” Jun told Hongjoong. The two departed into Hongjoong’s back room, presumably where he kept whatever he used to make clothes.

“I’m going to go catch up with Yunho and find out where he’s been having the most hunting success recently. We haven’t been seeing as many deer lately as I would expect,” Byeongkwan said. Smiling and waving, he added, “It was nice to meet you! Let’s talk more later,” before jogging off.

“Yeah, you too,” Yeosang said. He retreated towards the corner where he usually slept, keeping an eye on the others. Although he was by himself, he didn’t feel alone. Laughter and warmth filled the house, and for the moment, Yeosang felt content.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days after A.C.E. had left, Yeosang returned from helping N.Flying with farming to find a tense atmosphere shrouding the house. Hongjoong was sitting at the old wooden table, running his hands through his hair and staring at something. Seonghwa sat next to him, elbows propped on the table and his head resting in his hands. Neither spared Yeosang a glance as he shut the doors behind him.

San was at his usual place on the couch with a book on his lap, but he was staring off into space. Only Mingi seemed to be unperturbed, passed out on another couch across the room.

“What’s going on?” Yeosang asked San.

He sighed. “It’s a letter from NCT. Well, an invitation, of sorts.”

“An invitation to…?” Yeosang sat down on the couch next to San, looking over again at Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Both remained silent.

“Well, that’s the issue,” San said. “It’s light on the details, heavy on the…pressure, shall we say. They’re requesting a meeting, something about how violence will do us all no good. But you know it’s not that simple.”

“How’d they even deliver it without someone noticing?” Yeosang asked.

San shook his head, “A bird delivered it, if you’ll believe it. Because apparently with NCT, you even have to be suspicious of _birds._ ”

“This has Doyoung’s hands all over it,” Hongjoong finally spoke, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling. “You know he’s masterminding this all, somehow.”

Yeosang furrowed his brows. “Who’s Doyoung? I thought their leader was Taeyong?” It was hard to forget the impression the red-haired man had left on him.

“He is, but Doyoung’s his right hand man,” Seonghwa supplied. “Doyoung’s a real schemer. Does most of NCT’s planning, from what we know. Has everything calculated out, with ten contingency plans just in case the slightest thing goes wrong. Last time we crossed him, well…”

“We only really got out of it because of Dreamcatcher, and they’re not exactly obligated to help us,” Hongjoong finished. He took a deep breath and stood up, his chair clattering as he pushed it back. “We’ll go meet them. Running away from this will do us no good. Better to face them head on.”

“If it comes to an actual fight, we’ll get crushed,” Seonghwa stated in a matter of fact tone. “They have numbers and technology on their side, that’s a pretty overwhelming advantage.”

Hongjoong nodded, “You’re not wrong, but that’s why we’ll bring back up.”

“A.C.E. is only five more people, and I don’t think N.Flying…” Seonghwa trailed off as Hongjoong shook his head.

“No, you misunderstood me.” Hongjoong smirked. “Look sharp, boys. It’s time for a visit to District 9.”

* * *

 

Seonghwa had initially been opposed to bringing Stray Kids into what should have been strictly ATEEZ’s business, but Hongjoong was insistent. “If it came to it, we would be there for them in an instant,” he said. “I know they’ll do the same for us. They already did once.” He never raised his voice, but it was full of quiet confidence. Yeosang watched in amazement. Hongjoong always got what he wanted, somehow without sounding angry. Yeosang wondered what it would take for him to truly snap.

Hongjoong invited Yeosang along on the visit to Stray Kids, seeing as they’d yet to meet. Wooyoung came, insisting it’d been too long since he’d seen one of the members, and Hongjoong requested Mingi and San join as well, for navigational purposes. Jongho and Yunho were both out, and Seonghwa opted to stay behind, either because he was the one Hongjoong most trusted to protect ATEEZ while he was away, or because Seonghwa still wasn’t fully sold on the idea of asking for Stray Kids’ help. Yeosang wasn’t sure which.

“So, are Stray Kids our allies, then?” Yeosang asked Hongjoong the morning they set out for District 9. It was a five day’s walk away, maybe four if they could keep a good pace.

“Technically speaking, we have a non-aggression pact with them,” Hongjoong explained, “But it’s not quite the same as with Dreamcatcher. Stray Kids are, well…” He trailed off for a bit, before smiling, “They’re our friends. But we both wanted our independence, so a non-aggression pact works best.”

“I see,” Yeosang nodded.

“Stray Kids came before us,” Hongjoong continued, apparently in an especially talkative mood. “I spent a little time with them, and I really admired how Chan treated his members. That man is a damn workaholic, but it’s all because he wants the best for his members. He saved a lot of them from, well,” Hongjoong glanced at Yeosang, “tough circumstances, and I think now he wants them to feel safe. As safe as you can in a world like ours.”

Yeosang went quiet for a moment, staring hard at the grass beneath his feet. “I think you do a good job of that too, Hongjoong.”

“What’s that?” Hongjoong asked, and Yeosang wasn’t sure if he’d honestly spoken too quietly or if Hongjoong just wanted to hear more.

Yeosang took a deep breath, glancing over at Hongjoong before saying, “I know I may not seem it, but I’m honestly happy with ATEEZ. So, thank you.”

Hongjoong broke out into a smile that could have rivaled the sun. “You’re a great fit for ATEEZ. I’m so glad we found you, and that you decided to join us.”

 _Decided to join us._ Such a Hongjoong way of putting it. Yeosang felt his cheeks turning red and opted to return to staring at his footsteps in silence.

 Hongjoong, though, was apparently not done talking. His smile had slipped off his face. “You know, I wondered if I was doing the right thing when I parted ways with Stray Kids.”

“Yeah?” This was an interesting enough tidbit to grab Yeosang’s attention.

“Mm,” Hongjoong nodded. He walked with his hands behind his head, looking up at the sky and somehow managing not to trip. “It was before they were really Stray Kids. It was just Chan, Jisung, and Changbin then—they’re up to nine total now. They were going by 3RACHA. I only had Wooyoung and Mingi with me. This was after the Mixnine alliance had broken up. Jongho wasn’t sure what he wanted at the time and went his own way, but Wooyoung and Mingi followed me. Eventually, our paths crossed with Stray Kids for a while. Just trying to survive and get by. It was right after…” Hongjoong took a deep breath, and finally looked over at Yeosang. “I never told you about Joonyoung, did I?”

Yeosang shook his head. It was hard to look directly at Hongjoong. There was a pain on his face Yeosang had never seen before.

Hongjoong chewed on his bottom lip, before simply saying, “I failed. I couldn’t save him.”

“He…?” Yeosang couldn’t bring himself to say it, but the question lingered in the air.

“He died in front of me. Because I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t know enough, I couldn’t evaluate the situation properly. He’d only been with us a month, and he was a good bit younger than us, but he trusted me, and…I failed him.”

Yeosang looked ahead to where Wooyoung, San, and Mingi were engrossed in conversation, laughing and hitting each other on the shoulder. He felt entirely unequipped to process this information, but the longer he waited to say something, the heavier the air seemed to get. Yet Yeosang couldn’t bring himself to speak empty platitudes. “What happened?” he asked instead.

“I let him wander around in an old building by himself. He wanted to explore, prove himself, bring back something useful. I didn’t know about the old weapons facilities, back then. I’d never seen one before. Joonyoung was searching through piles of materials and accidentally triggered an old weapon. I went running to him as soon as I heard the noise, but it was too late. The reverb on the weapon toppled several shelves over, landing on top of him. By the time I pulled him out, he wasn’t responding.”

“You couldn’t have known…” even as the words left his mouth, Yeosang knew they were far from adequate.

Hongjoong shrugged. “Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. I played that scene over in my head a thousand times. What if I’d gone in with him, could I have pulled him out of the way? Or would I have just gotten the both of us killed? Would I even have been of any help, since I barely recognized any weapons at that time, either?” Hongjoong wrung his hands, and it was the first time Yeosang noticed the scars traced across them. Faded, but still visible when the sunlight caught them. “I tortured myself over it, and frankly I’m lucky that Wooyoung and Mingi stuck with me during that time. I wasn’t much of a leader. Every decision paralyzed me. It was only a few weeks later that we ran into 3RACHA. We got along with them instantly. Chan had this sincerity about him, and I jumped at the chance to let someone else take responsibility. He seemed so much stronger than I could ever be.”

“Why’d you leave, then?” The question tumbled out of Yeosang’s mouth before he could stop it, and he realized he’d been holding his breath as Hongjoong spoke.

“Because of Chan.” Hongjoong smiled, though this time it had a tinge of sadness to it. “He pulled me aside one night. I thought he was going to formally invite us to join 3RACHA. Up until that point, we’d just been travelling together, in a kind of unspoken agreement. But no. Instead, Chan told me, ‘I think you should leave.’ Honestly, for a moment, I was crushed. I had told him about what happened with Joonyoung, and I felt like he was confirming my worst fears—I wasn’t good enough to be a part of Chan’s group, let alone the leader of my own. I asked why, what I’d done, if there was anything I could do to change things. Chan shook his head and told me, ‘No, it’s not that. You’re hiding right now. There’s a leader in you, it’s who are you. If you stay here, with us, you’re running from your own potential.’ It was an admission that he was a leader at heart, too. If I had stayed, he would have been the one running things. And honestly, I would have followed him.” A flock of geese in a V-formation flew overhead, honking and interrupting Hongjoong. Hongjoong and Yeosang watched them, two birds at the front jostling until one took over at the head of the formation.

When they passed, Hongjoong continued. “I don’t know why I listened to him. I’d only known him for a short while, but I trusted him. I think it was more than that, though. Deep down, I knew he was right. At least about the fact that I was running away from myself. I’d messed up, so I wanted to shove responsibility onto someone else and pretend like nothing I did mattered anymore. That was a disservice to Joonyoung’s memory, and it was a disservice to who I was and who I wanted to be. So I took Chan’s advice and left. The real wonder is that Wooyoung and Mingi still trusted me and left with me. I have them to thank for ATEEZ being what it is. They said they were just glad to see back to more of my old self. I’ll never be my old self again, but, well, I don’t think that’s entirely a bad thing. I’m trying get better day by day, and that’s all you can really do.”

Yeosang furrowed his brow, scrambling for a response. Hongjoong shot him a sympathetic glance. “Sorry, that was a lot to take in, I’m sure.”

“No, I’m glad you told me,” Yeosang said. “I think…I think it helps me understand you better, and so it helps me understand ATEEZ better, too. There’s still so much I don’t know about it.”

“All in good time, right?” Hongjoong’s usual cheery demeanor was quickly returning. “Although, if there’s ever anything you’re wondering, don’t be afraid to ask. You’re one of us, you deserve to know.”

Yeosang nodded, “I will.”

Hongjoong patted him on the shoulder. “Right, then. Shall we catch up with the others? We don’t want to get left behind.”

Truthfully, Yeosang would have loved nothing more than to be left alone to think, but he nodded. “Uh, yeah. We probably should.” He couldn’t find it in himself to go against Hongjoong. _Chan was right,_ Yeosang thought. _No one could deny that Hongjoong is a born leader. Not even Hongjoong himself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I tear up writing this? Maybe, but this is just the start...


	6. Chapter 6

After several days of walking, concrete walls loomed in front of them. Hongjoong was full to the brim with excitement, rivaled only by Wooyoung. As they got closer, Yeosang noticed color splashed across the walls. Squinting, he was able to make out the words “STRAY KIDS.”

“How did they do that?” Yeosang questioned. He’d never seen anything like it.

“I have no idea, but it’s awesome,” Wooyoung replied, his eyes glued to the words.

“That’s a new addition, wasn’t here the last time we visited,” Mingi added. San was already pulling out his sketchbook to take notes.

“Leave it to Stray Kids,” Hongjoong said, shaking his head, but there was a sense of pride to his words.

A figure was visible atop the walls, legs swinging back and forth. “Changbin!” Wooyoung called, waving his arms above his head. “It’s us!” The figure disappeared from sight, and a few minutes later one of the large fences connecting the concrete walls creaked open. A boy clad in all black slipped through and sprinted towards them. Wooyoung broke out in a run until the two finally met in a hug that nearly toppled them both over.

“It’s been so long!” Wooyoung exclaimed. “And you haven’t grown at all,” he added with a smirk.

“Shut up, you’re barely taller than me,” the boy responded, before he and Wooyoung started laughing.

“Nice to see you again, Changbin,” Hongjoong interrupted the pair.

“You too!” Changbin turned to greet him enthusiastically. “I was wondering when you’d show up again. It’s been what, a year?”

“Something like that, yeah,” Hongjoong scratched the back of his neck. When Changbin put it that way, he felt a bit guilty that his first time visiting in so long was to ask for help. “This is Yeosang, by the way. He joined us a short while ago.”

“Changbin,” the boy said, reaching his hand out to Yeosang.

“Yeosang,” Yeosang accepted his handshake, already dreading having to go through introductions eight more times.

“Is Chan around?” Hongjoong asked.

“Cutting to the chase, I see,” Changbin turned and gestured for them to follow, “Yeah, come on in. I’ll show you to him.”

Yeosang trailed behind the rest, taking in District 9 for the first time. Just inside the walls sat a large hunk of metal, lined with windows and with four wheels at the bottom. A few of the windows were smashed in, and one of the wheels looked strangely deformed and lopsided. “What’s that?” he asked.

Changbin glanced at where he was looking. “Oh, it’s a machine that once was able to move people around. It doesn’t work anymore, but we used it as shelter while we were rebuilding this place. Most of this,” he gestured to the buildings around them, “either didn’t exist or was in ruins when we found it.”

Yeosang sucked in a breath. It had been hard to imagine Hongjoong saying he’d follow someone else, but after spending only a few minutes in District 9, he was beginning to understand. “That’s…wow.”

Changbin laughed. “Don’t look too impressed, most of these buildings still aren’t useable. They shouldn’t collapse on us any time soon, though.”

Ahead of them, a boy with brown, curly hair emerged from a building. He was deep in conversation with another boy, gesticulating wildly as the other boy nodded along.

“Chan!” Hongjoong called.

“We have visitors!” Changbin announced.

Chan whipped his head up at the sound of Hongjoong’s voice. “Hongjoong!” he called back, jogging over. “It’s great to see you again. What brings you here?”

“Well, I wanted Stray Kids to meet our new recruit,” Hongjoong paused, “And I also wanted to talk to you. Alone.” He emphasized the last word.

Chan nodded, slowly, before looking over at Yeosang. “You must be the new recruit! I’m Chan, Stray Kids’ leader.”

Hongjoong was right, there was something about Chan that immediately put Yeosang at ease. He managed a smile as he said, “I’m Yeosang. Hongjoong told me a lot about you.”

“Good things, I hope,” Chan said with a laugh. Turning to the boy who he’d been talking to earlier, he added, “Woojin, can you and Changbin show our guests around? See if you can find the other boys and do some introductions for Yeosang while we’re at it. Besides, I’m sure you’ll all want to catch up.” Looking towards Hongjoong, he gestured to a nearby building. “Shall we?”

Hongjoong nodded. Waving to the other members of ATEEZ, he said, “Have fun, boys!”

The building Chan led Hongjoong into was small, but there were plenty of windows for natural lining. Bookcases lined the walls, although only a few books occupied their shelves. There was a wooden table in the center of the room, with a few chairs scattered around it. Each chair had a cushion, none of which were ripped or torn. Towards the back of the room, a few cupboards were pushed up against the wall.

“This is really nice,” Hongjoong observed, “You’ve made a lot of progress over the past year.”

Chan scratched the back of his head and laughed as he took a seat. “Yeah, some days it feels like slow going, but when you put it into perspective we’ve come a long way. This is meant to be my personal study. I want the rest of Stray Kids to have their own rooms eventually, too. Felix is working on an artificial light generator, can you believe it? He got one working, but it requires someone physically manning it at all times, so he’s still fiddling with it.” Chan’s voice was full of pride.

“I’m glad to hear Felix is doing so much better,” Hongjoong pulled out a chair across the table from Chan, “Last time I was here, he was, well…”

“Yeah,” Chan nodded, “It was touch and go for a bit, but he ended up making a great recovery.”

“Yeah, that’s fantastic,” Hongjoong said, and the room lapsed into silence. Hongjoong knew that Chan was waiting for him to speak. Finally, after collecting his thoughts, he began, “I did want to see you to catch up. I feel bad that it’s been so long. But I’ll admit our visit was prompted by a letter from NCT. They’re saying we should meet to discuss how to make our future relations more peaceful, but…” Hongjoong shook his head, “My gut is telling me something is very off. I realize it could be a miscalculation to bring back-up to supposed peace talks, but I think it’s the right call.”

“So you’re asking us to be your back-up?” Chan clarified, though he already knew the answer.

Hongjoong threaded his fingers together and rested his chin on them. “Yeah. They want the meeting on the day of the next full moon. We’re not sure how many people NCT has at this point, but we think it’s likely over twenty. Not to mention their allies, some of which we don’t even know the current status of. Combine that with their technology, and walking in blind and trusting seems like a recipe for our demise. But turning them down will make us seem like cowards, and I won’t stand for that.”

“You’ve grown a lot over these past few years to become a really capable leader,” Chan said with a smile, but his face quickly turned serious. “So, what do you think NCT is planning?”

Hongjoong sighed. “I wish I knew. Seonghwa was thinking it could be a trap to lure us in before they ambush us, but I’m not so sure that’s NCT’s style. I’m thinking they’re being honest about wanting negotiations. There’s just going to be some massive catch to whatever they want.”

Chan slowly nodded. “You’d know more about NCT than I would, so I’ll trust you on that. Though I wouldn’t be opposed to learning more about them. We’ve kept our distance from them, but I don’t think we can avoid them forever. What I want to know is, what exactly is it that you’re hoping to achieve by bringing us along?” There was no judgement in Chan’s voice. He was simply intent on making Hongjoong put everything out on the table clearly.

“I mean one, if it _is_ an ambush, we’re slightly less likely to die,” Hongjoong said with a rueful chuckle. Chan tilted his head in acknowledge. “More importantly, though, I’d like to project power. I’d like NCT to realize that we have more allies than they know of, make them question whether it’s in their interest to take us on or try to get us to bow down to them. I mean, I know that part of the point of our non-aggression pact wasn’t just to respect each other as independent equals, but also so others wouldn’t know how close we are. This may ruin that, but…” Hongjoong trailed off.

“You want us to be your intimidation force,” Chan concluded.

Hongjoong bit his lip. “Basically, yeah. That’s what I’m asking of you. Of Stray Kids. I know it’s a lot to ask, especially since you’ve always been averse to getting them involved in unnecessary, dangerous situations. And I know revealing us as allies might bring even more trouble on you. I know that, but…I don’t know what other choice I had but to ask.”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told you when we first parted ways,” Chan leaned forward. “Always find me, yeah? I’ll never leave you behind. We’ll always protect each other. Besides,” Chan stood up, the chair scraping against the floor, “I think it’s time for Stray Kids to make our first move.”

 _Never show weakness, because weakness can get you killed._ Lately, Hongjoong had been breaking his own rule. First when he was talking to Yeosang about what had happened with Joonyoung, and now as he tried to keep tears from falling down his face as he stood up and faced Chan. “Thank you,” Hongjoong said quietly, worried his voice would betray him.

“We’ll need to discuss more details, of course, but that can wait until after dinner.” Chan looked over at Hongjoong. “You _are_ staying for dinner, right?”

“How could I possibly say no?” Even as he smiled, Hongjoong felt his cheeks getting wet. Hurriedly, he wiped at his eyes.

“I’ll go gather the boys,” Chan said. “I’ll have Jisung by the door, so when you’re ready, just come out, ok? He’ll show you to where we eat.”

Hongjoong nodded, slumping back into his chair and running his hands through his hair. Chan had always been like this. Strong, but understanding and kind. Compassionate, and yet more than capable of protecting his own. Chan disappeared out the door, and Hongjoong finally let out the tears he’d been trying and failing to hold back. He had assured Seonghwa that he was certain about going here, that he had nothing to worry about, that everything would be fine. It had all been a lie, of course, because Hongjoong was never certain about his decisions. He just had to pretend to be, and to sell it to others. Yet Chan had a way of breaking his façade down, and Hongjoong was powerless against it. He curled one of his hands in a fist as he lay with his head resting on the table, staring at the wall. In his head, he could hear Chan telling him, as he had several years ago, _it’s ok to be like this sometimes. Just so long as you know what you have to do afterwards._

Hongjoong took a deep breath, unclenching his fist and pulling his face up from the table. He was sure his face was still red and splotchy, but it’d go back to normal soon. He’d give himself another moment to look composed before heading out.

After all, he knew what he had to do. _Be the leader that ATEEZ deserves._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have teared up a bit writing this Chan and Hongjoong interaction. Best leader friendship!


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey, Hongjoong,” Jisung greeted him when Hongjoong finally left the room. Jisung had been leaning against the wall, chatting with San. “Better hurry, or the food will get cold. Unless Felix accidentally sets it on fire.”

“He cooks?” Hongjoong asked, as he and San followed Jisung down a rock lined dirt road.

Jisung laughed. “You better hope not, or we’ll all be going hungry tonight.”

“What was it you were just telling me about the last time Woojin let you into the kitchen?” San asked, a teasing tone in his voice.

“I thought that bird would taste good and I didn’t realize it was still alive!” Jisung protested. “I didn’t know it was going to wake up and break half of Woojin’s equipment in a struggle for freedom!”

“I feel like this is just a commentary on either your hunting abilities, your judgement, or both,” San said, unable to hold back his laughter.

Jisung punched his shoulder. “I’ll have you know I’m the second best hunter in Stray Kids, thank you very much.”

“Who’s the best, then?” San asked.

“Minho. He’s ruthless _and_ good at stalking prey,” Jisung said, “He took Felix out hunting once. Felix scared off a flock of birds that Minho had been targeting, but Minho managed to take a few down anyway. Felix saw their dead bodies and cried. Chan asked where he thought his dinner was coming from, but he’s never made Felix go hunting again. Not that Minho would take him, I bet.” Jisung stopped in front of a large stone building, smoke coming out of the chimney on top. “Speaking of, here’s where we eat.”

Hongjoong admired the building. “You have a whole building just for meals?”

Jisung nodded, “Well, and cooking, but yeah.”

Hongjoong whistled. “ATEEZ sure has some catching up to do.” He glanced over at San. “Think you can sketch up some plans when we get back?”

San held up his notebook, full of scribbles and notes to himself. “Already on it.”

Hongjoong smiled. “I’d expect nothing less from you.”

Jisung contemplated the building in front of him. “You know, a lot of the groups around here don’t think much of us. And that’s worked well for us for a while. But…it’s our mission to prove who we are. Someday, they’ll see all Stray Kids has accomplished, and they won’t know what hit them.”

“Did you steal that from Chan?” Hongjoong asked with a chuckle.

Jisung looked affronted. “I have thoughts of my own, you know!” He paused, before added, “Chan’s never quite said that. But he’s an inspiring leader. So that’s how I feel.” He pulled the door open. “Now, seriously, let’s get some food.”

A rush of warm air and the smell of freshly cooked meat and herbs greeted them as they walked in. Hongjoong immediately searched the room for his members. As expected, Changbin and Wooyoung were sitting next to each other, swapping stories from the past year. “The spiders followed me for at least an hour. They never got that close, they just scurried along behind me…” Hongjoong overheard Wooyoung saying. 

Mingi was sitting next to Hyunjin, but given that he was slumped over the table and Hyunjin was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed, Hongjoong suspected they were both asleep. Impressive, given how noisy the room was.

Yeosang had ended up between Chan and Felix, the latter of whom was enthusiastically explaining how, “It flew! I swear it flew for at least a good ten seconds. Sure it exploded afterwards, but I think next time I can double the flight time.”

Yeosang looked both skeptical and intrigued. “Weren’t you afraid of setting the building on fire?”

“You never told me it exploded! You just said it broke,” Chan interjected. He caught Hongjoong’s eye and waved. “Come sit down! We’ve been waiting for you. Well, some of us have. Seungmin, Minho, and Jeongin already started eating.”

Woojin stuck his head out from a back room. “I’ll have three more plates out, just give me a second!” He flashed them a smile.

Hongjoong took a seat next to Chan and looked over at Yeosang. “Having fun?” he asked.

Yeosang tilted his head, and a small smile appeared on his face momentarily. “Yeah.”

“Good,” Hongjoong said, scooching over so San and Jisung could sit next to him. 

“Oh yeah, and Hongjoong? San?” Yeosang added.

“Yeah?” Hongjoong asked, and San looked up at Yeosang.

Yeosang looked down at the table, then back up at them, hesitating. “Do you think…when we get back, do you think I can help San in designing things?”

“Sure, I’d be happy for you to help!” San replied, before Hongjoong could interject his concerns about where Yeosang’s sudden inspiration was coming from. Still, he was happy to see Yeosang developing interests, especially in things that could benefit ATEEZ.

“Go for it, as long as you do it _safely_ ,” Hongjoong emphasized the last word and gave Yeosang a meaningful look. Yeosang ducked his head before nodding and returning to his conversation with Felix.

“Good luck with that,” Chan said with a laugh. Adopting a more serious expression, he asked, “Are you leaving tomorrow morning?”

Hongjoong nodded. “Yeah, that was the plan. I know Seonghwa is probably worrying about what happened, and I don’t want to be away too long.”

Chan nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair. We’ll discuss details and logistics before you head out tomorrow. For now, let’s just eat and catch up.”

“I’d like that,” Hongjoong agreed.

The night started out loud and raucous, rousing both Mingi and Hyunjin from their slumber. The boys jostled over food, occasionally stealing from each other’s plates. Laughter and occasionally shrieks filled the air. They had a tendency to yell over each other, raising the volume in the room ever higher. Eventually, though, the fire in the back of the room began to dwindle, and one by one, the boys began to retire to bed, until only Chan and Hongjoong were left.

A comfortable silence had fallen between them. It was Hongjoong who finally broke it. Chan was staring off into the dying fire, and Hongjoong had been trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say.

“Thank you,” he began, and Chan shifted so he could look at him. “For…everything. Not just agreeing to help now. But everything you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t be the leader I am now without you.”

Chan nodded slowly, taking a moment before he responded. “You’re welcome, but don’t sell yourself short. I think you would have made it through regardless of what I did. It might just have taken a little longer.”

“Maybe,” Hongjoong acknowledged. “I...it’s nice. To be able to talk like this, and not have to pretend.”

“Pretend?” Chan prompted.

Hongjoong chewed on his bottom lip. “I’m pretending all the time. Pretending that I know what I’m doing, pretending that I’m sure of the decisions I’m making, pretending that I know everything will work out in the end.”

“And you think I’m not?” Chan asked softly.

“Everyone in Stray Kids trusts you absolutely,” Hongjoong pointed out.

Chan gave him a pointed look. “That doesn’t mean I’m not pretending sometimes. Don’t put me on that kind of pedestal. Besides, I could say the same for you and ATEEZ. They follow you for a reason. And your new recruit, Yeosang…” Chan furrowed his brow. “Before you got to dinner, he looked tense and on edge the entire time. Like he was trying to listen to Felix, but there was a part of him that just wanted to run away. When you walked into the room, though, he finally relaxed.”

“I worry about him,” Hongjoong confessed, “But I feel like he’s settling in well. He’s gotten a lot more comfortable around ATEEZ as a whole.”

Chan shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. There’s something broken in him. That goes for all of us to some degree, but with him, it’s like he’s seen and experienced things that most of us haven’t…”

“I still don’t know what happened to him before he joined ATEEZ,” Hongjoong said slowly. “I didn’t want to push him. I figured he’d tell us eventually.”

“Tell you, maybe. But that’s my point. Yeosang trusts you, and I don’t get the feeling he’s trusted much before. You saved him from near death, right?”

“Yeah, out in the desert. Twice,” Hongjoong said.

Chan sighed, staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t think you’re done saving him. But then again, that’s how it goes, right? Everything I do, I do for Stray Kids. So it might look like I’m the one saving them. But really, they save me just as much. Without them, I wouldn’t have a purpose. They give my life meaning, and that’s what gives me the strength to lead them. No matter how uncertainty or doubt I feel. It’s the same for you, right?”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong nodded, “yeah, it is. If I didn’t have ATEEZ, I don’t know what I’d be doing. If I can give back to them what they give to me, it’s worth having to pretend.”

“Exactly. This is why I’m telling you to stop discounting yourself. Don’t assume everyone else is better than you or has it all figured out. Least of all me.” Chan took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “It’s getting late, you should get some sleep before your journey back.”

“Good idea,” Hongjoong agreed.

It was hard for Hongjoong to fall asleep that night, as tired as he was. He couldn’t keep his brain silent, his conversation with Chan replaying, interspersed with worries about Yeosang, how Seonghwa was holding up back home, and what would happen with NCT. When he finally did succumb to sleep, morning came all too soon.

It wasn’t long before he found himself walking back to the entrance of District 9, discussing details about the upcoming NCT meeting with Chan as if last night’s conversation had never happened.

“We’ll see you in a couple of weeks, then,” Chan concluded, stopping in front of the gates.

“Wooyoung! C’mon, we’re leaving now,” Hongjoong called, San, Mingi, Yeosang already by his side. Turning back to Chan, he said, “Sounds good. Take care until then.”

Chan smiled and waved as the gates of District 9 creaked open. “You too.”

“Alright, boys,” Hongjoong said, and he could already feel his leader persona settling back down over him, a surprisingly comforting presence. “Time to go home.”


	8. Chapter 8

Hongjoong had intended to take the fastest route home, but of course things could never be that simple.

Yeosang had been walking in the back alone, but suddenly he appeared at Hongjoong’s side. “There’s someone else around,” he said in a low tone. He cocked his head. “Or maybe more than one.”

Hongjoong frowned. He hadn’t heard anything, but ignoring this wasn’t a risk worth taking. Hurriedly, he walked up to San and Mingi, conversing with them quietly before gesturing for Yeosang to come closer.

“This is no one’s territory,” San explained. “We’re not even particularly close to any borders.”

“I’ve never seen anyone around here. The terrain isn’t exactly inviting either, between all the thorny bushes and giant pitfalls,” Mingi added.

Yeosang pursed his lips. “I’m positive I heard someone. Possibly two people, no more than three.”

San and Mingi turned to Hongjoong, waiting for his verdict. “We’ll spend a few minutes searching the area,” Hongjoong decided. “Just in case. Mingi, go get Wooyoung before he gets too far ahead. San, Yeosang, with me. Yeosang, do you have any ideas where they might be?”

Yeosang surveyed the area, peering past the thick rows of thorny bushes. “That way,” he said, pointing to their left.

Hongjoong assumed the lead, with Yeosang and San flanking him. They only walked for a few minutes before Yeosang said, “Wait, stop.” Hongjoong and San both froze, Hongjoong giving him a questioning look. “There.”

Hongjoong and San both looked at where Yeosang was gesturing. “There’s nothing there,” San began, but Hongjoong cut him off.

“No, he’s right. Look, those bushes aren’t natural. Someone dragged them over that hole in the ground to try to hide it.” Hongjoong looked at both San and Yeosang. “Ready?”

They nodded, Yeosang’s hand going to his sheathed knife. Hongjoong began pulling the cover off, avoiding the thorns as best he could. The three boys peered down into the hole. It looked to be almost ten feet deep, and two figures could be seen at the bottom. Hongjoong had many questions about Yeosang’s startingly accurate prediction, but now was hardly the time. One of the figures moved, attempting to sit up and look at the sudden light flooding into the hole.

“Bastards,” the man muttered. “What, are you here to finish us off?”

“No,” Hongjoong said, voice firm. “We don’t mean you any harm. Who are you, and why are you here?”

“How do I know you’re not with NCT?” the man responded after a momentary pause.

“Are they the ones who did this to you?” Hongjoong asked.

Before the man could reply, the figure next to him let out a groan, followed by a cough that seemed to rattle his body.

“Do you need help getting out of this hole?” Hongjoong offered.

The man went silent, perhaps weighing his options. “What’s the worst you could do at this point, kill us? Yeah, sure.”

Hongjoong looked over his shoulder. “Just a moment, then. Mingi!” he called. “Where’s Yunho when you need him,” he added, mostly to himself. When Mingi finally appeared, Wooyoung in tow, the ATEEZ boys set to work creating a makeshift human ladder, steadying Mingi as he reached down and helped pull out the two men. They were both covered in dirt, leaves, and blood. The man who had been coughing had a piece of cloth wrapped around his head, but blood could be seen leaking through it. His eyes were closed, and his breathing appeared shallow.

“We’ll help you,” Hongjoong said in a steady voice, “but you need to give us information. Who you are, why you’re here, and what happened.”

“I’m Changkyun,” the first man said, “and this is Jooheon. We’re from Monsta X. This is unfamiliar land to us. We’re from the far southeast. Our leader sent us out to explore, and we stumbled into NCT territory. I tried to explain we were just wanderers, but I guess they didn’t believe us. They started shooting, from the trees.”

“Who was leading them?” Hongjoong asked, eyes narrowed.

“Didn’t exactly chit chat and get a name,” Changkyun replied, “but he had dark black hair, spoke sternly…”

“Doyoung,” Hongjoong replied with a grimace. “I knew it. Taeyong doesn’t tend to attack if you play nice.”

“What about my experience?” Yeosang protested. “They almost killed me, too.”

Hongjoong gave him a look, indicating that he should save any further comments for later. “You’re just a bad liar and didn’t give Taeyong the answers he wanted.” He turned his attention back to Changkyun and Jooheon. “In any case, we’re ATEEZ. Our main healer isn’t with us, but Wooyoung knows a thing or two. Wooyoung, do you think you can stabilize them until we get back?”

“That’s a tall order with limited supplies and him in that kind of condition,” Wooyoung said, crouching down and observing Jooheon. “And I’m not Seonghwa.”

“Give it your best try,” Hongjoong ordered, and Wooyoung dutifully complied, rifling through his pack for the herbs he’d been collecting for Seonghwa. He mumbled to himself as he thumbed through them, trying to remember which had what properties.

“Back?” Changkyun asked, as if it had just occurred to him.

“To our base,” Hongjoong said simply. “Unless you’d rather die out here.”

“You’re taking us hostage?” Despite how weak his voice sounded, Changkyun was still on the defensive.

Hongjoong raised his eyebrows. “No, we’re trying to save your lives. You’re free to leave whenever you want. Although,” he tilted his head so he could look Changkyun directly in the eyes, “you might consider telling your leader _everything_ that happened.” He maintained eye contact with Changkyun until the latter nodded, and Hongjoong was convinced he understood the implication. “Good. Well, then, let’s see about getting you two back. Can you walk, Changkyun? Wooyoung, how is Jooheon looking?”

“I’m working on it,” Wooyoung said. He had unwrapped the cloth around Jooheon’s head, replacing it with a cleaner one and some plants that he was decently certain Seonghwa used to help stymie blood loss.

“Do you always do this?” Yeosang asked Hongjoong quietly, as they watched Wooyoung.

“Do what?” Hongjoong asked.

“Try to save everyone,” Yeosang said.

“Would you rather I didn’t?” Hongjoong questioned, returning his attention to the two members of Monsta X. Yeosang watched him and couldn’t help but wonder what drove him to be like this.

Changkyun stood up and immediately staggered. Yeosang instinctively reached out and steadied him. “Head spinning?” Yeosang asked him, but Changkyun couldn’t even muster a response. Sighing, Yeosang looked over at Hongjoong. “I don’t think he can walk back on his own. He’ll pass out.” Or worse, Yeosang added to himself silently. Even though Changkyun was seemingly in better condition than Jooheon, Yeosang questioned how much longer he could hold up.

“Alright, you and I will help him, then,” Hongjoong decided. “Wooyoung and San can help carry Jooheon. Mingi, will you lead the way?” Mingi nodded and began a whispered conversation with San about the fastest route back.

Yeosang frowned as he moved his hands to better support Changkyun. “Hongjoong, he’s burning up,” Yeosang observed.

Hongjoong moved to help Yeosang and felt Changkyun’s forehead. “That’s bad,” he muttered to himself, before looking at Wooyoung, who was still trying to clean and wrap Jooheon’s wounds. “Wooyoung, what do we do for fever?”

“Fever?” Wooyoung asked. His eyes were wide. “Fever? Fever, um, fever. I – I don’t know.” Panic began to creep into his voice.

“It’s ok, you’re doing great,” Hongjoong reassured him. “Take a deep breath and just focus on stabilizing Jooheon. You can do this.” Wooyoung’s hands were shaking, but he nodded.

Hongjoong followed his own advice, taking a deep breath. “Yeosang, you alright? We’re going to be walking like this for a while.”

Yeosang shifted his weight back and forth, testing his hold on Changkyun. “Yeah, I got this.”

This was a statement he would later come to regret. When Hongjoong said “a while,” he meant it. With Mingi as their eyes and ears, the boys made their way back to ATEEZ’s base. Hongjoong insisted that they walk through the night. It was too dangerous to stop when they didn’t know who might be around, and besides, every moment wasted worsened Jooheon and Changkyun’s chances of survival. So they journeyed through the night, past the dawn that finally let them all find footing easier, and into the harsh sunlight of the day that drenched them in sweat. They had been up for almost two days when ATEEZ’s base came into sight.

It wasn’t a moment too soon, as Wooyoung announced that Jooheon’s pulse was getting weaker. Changkyun had turned a pale white, punctuated by red marks from his injuries. Hongjoong sighted Yunho in the distance and called out to him. His throat was hoarse and sore, and he had to try twice before he could yell loudly enough to get Yunho’s attention.

Yunho came running as soon as he heard, though. “You’re back!” he exclaimed, before gasping at the sight of the two Monsta X boys. “What happened?”

“No time to explain. Get Seonghwa immediately,” Hongjoong ordered. His eyes burned whenever he closed them, but the look in them was fierce enough Yunho didn’t hesitate before obeying. By the time they reached the entrance to ATEEZ’s main building, Seonghwa was there to greet them.

“What happened? Yunho was just yelling incoherently about…” Seonghwa took note of the two Monsta X boys. “…bad injuries…” he finished. Grimacing, Seonghwa shook his head. “How does this always happen to you, Hongjoong?” Before Hongjoong could answer, Seonghwa continued, “Let’s get them into the back room. And I’m going to need help. Someone get Jaehyun. Someone else get bedding supplies, we only have a setup for one person.”

“I can get Jaehyun,” Yunho volunteered. He had been standing uncertainly at the entrance, wanting to be of use but unsure of how to proceed. Seonghwa nodded at him, and Yunho ran out the door.

Mingi was on the brink of collapsing, but since he was the only person not occupied by carrying a Monsta X member, he muttered, “I’ll grab the bedding.”

Without another word, Seonghwa turned and headed towards the back room where he kept his supplies. Hongjoong, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San followed him, treating Changkyun and Jooheon as gently as they could. Mingi trailed them with the clean bedding, and they settled the two boys in. Seonghwa busied himself with examining their injuries. Without looking up from them, he said, “You all should get some sleep. I don’t even want to think of how long you’ve been up.”

Hongjoong blinked a few times, before saying, “Seonghwa’s right. Go get some sleep. You all did well. We did all we could, and now we can’t be any help to Seonghwa in this kind of state.”

There was a round of silent nods, before Yeosang, Wooyoung, San, and Mingi dispersed to find places to pass out. After a moment, Seonghwa said, “That includes you, you know. Take your own advice.”

“I am,” Hongjoong said, pulling up a chair. “I’m not in your way, right?”

Not sparing him a glance, Seonghwa said, “Do whatever you want. I have two patients at risk of infection, both of whom have experienced massive blood loss. One has an absurdly high fever, and the other is barely breathing. If they both live, count it as a miracle.”

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong said. Finally sitting down in the chair, and with his goal of safely delivering the Monsta X boys to Seonghwa, he could feel his body struggling to stay awake. “I trust you. Save them.”

“Easy for you to say,” Seonghwa mumbled, but it fell on deaf ears. Hongjoong was already asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Yeosang wasn’t sure how long he had slept for. When he finally awoke, his limbs felt stiff, and it took him a few minutes before he was able to properly sit up. He’d fallen asleep curled up on the floor, although at least it had been on one of the fur rugs—a recent, and now very appreciated, addition. He stood up, shaking his arms, trying to revive proper feeling into them. Mingi and San were both still passed out, and Wooyoung was nowhere to be seen.

Quietly, Yeosang made his way into the back room. Both Changkyun and Jooheon were still there, but to Yeosang’s surprise, so was Hongjoong. His head was resting on his chest, and realizing that he must be asleep, Yeosang turned to leave.

“Yeosang?” he heard Hongjoong say, and he turned back around.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Yeosang said, scratching the back of his head. “I just…wanted to see how they were doing.”

“Have a seat?” Hongjoong offered, jerking his head towards the other unoccupied seat in the room. “Seonghwa’s down at N.Flying’s farm, he and Jaehyun are trying to see if there’s…some herb left in storage. Yunho’s helping them. Wooyoung’s already out looking in the forest for it.” Hongjoong stretched, slowly, before twisting back and forth in his seat, hearing his back crack. “I was keeping an eye on them. I didn’t mean to doze off.” Based on the dark bags under Hongjoong’s eyes, Yeosang was guessing he had done _less_ dozing off than he should have.

Yeosang sat down, twisting his lips as he looked at the two limp forms in front of him. “How are they?”

Hongjoong chewed on his bottom lip. “Jooheon’s stabilized. Woke up briefly, but passed back out again. It seems like his left side isn’t very responsive, though. He hasn’t moved it. Changkyun…” Hongjoong closed his eyes, breathing deeply for a minute before continuing, “hasn’t woken up again yet. And his fever is still high. That’s why Seonghwa and Jaehyun are looking for…some herb that’s supposed to help,” Hongjoong finished, his own lack of knowledge clearly frustrating him.

Yeosang nodded slowly. “You care a lot about them, even though they’re strangers.”

“You were a stranger once, too,” Hongjoong pointed out. “Besides, you care too. You’re here, even though no one asked you to be.”

“They’re not going to join ATEEZ, though, and you don’t know how useful they’ll be as allies, if that’s what they end up deciding,” Yeosang said.

Hongjoong snorted. “Who are you, Seonghwa?” He sighed and then shrugged. “Isn’t it enough to want to save them? Why does it matter who they are? I’d want to someone to save you, and everyone else in ATEEZ, if you were in the same situation.”

“Did you convince Seonghwa with that?” Yeosang asked. He was still staring at the two Monsta X boys, unable to take his gaze off them, as if looking away meant their chests would stop rising and falling.

“You see how hard he’s working to save them,” Hongjoong said. “Besides, he’s used to this by now.”

Yeosang shook his head. “I still just can’t…” He bit his bottom lip and paused. “You’re so different, it’s all just so different from before.”

“Yeosang,” Hongjoong said softly, sitting up straighter in his chair. “What was before?” Yeosang stiffened, tearing his gaze away from Monsta X to look at Hongjoong. His response died on his lips. Hongjoong continued, “You don’t have to tell me. There’s no punishment if you don’t. But I’d like to know.”

Yeosang interlocked his fingers and looked down at them. Silence enveloped the room, seemingly suffocating it. Finally, Yeosang spoke. “I don’t remember my parents. I don’t know how they died, or how I lived. The first thing I remember is being on the streets. There was smoke in the air, still, and rubble all around. I hadn’t eaten in so long. Someone…a boy…I don’t think he was that much older than me, offered me some food if I came with him and joined his group. So I did.”

Hongjoong nodded. So far, Yeosang’s story was hardly unusual. They were the generation that came at the very end of the wars, after all, the wars that had seemingly only ended because there were no more people left who knew how to use the weapons that had started it all.

“They did take me in,” Yeosang said, “But they didn’t make it easy to stay. No one there got treated for injuries.” He touched the red mark on the side of his face, something Hongjoong had always wondered about but never questioned. “They said people who got injured were either dumb or unlucky, and neither was useful. You either healed on your own, or you died.”

Hongjoong bit his tongue, afraid that if he said anything, Yeosang would clam up and stop talking.

Yeosang tapped one of his feet on the floor nervously, chewing on his bottom lip. “Not many people survived to my age. There were only three others. We called ourselves 8Eight. Maybe that was the number we would have had if they had done things differently. I watched so many people die…I don’t even know how many. I lost count. From every injury you could think of and more. From the most dramatic, like being literally backstabbed, to the most mundane, like eating the wrong thing.” Yeosang lapsed into silence again, and just when Hongjoong thought he should say something, Yeosang continued. “We moved around a lot, but we ended up close to BTS. They wanted to be recognized by BTS—recognized by them so they could become allies, become allies so they could betray them and take them over. They saw power as the only way to survive. So they hatched a plan to try to kill off one of BTS’s rival groups, EXO. They thought if we eliminated EXO, then surely BTS would finally notice us. I never argued with them. Even if I didn’t agree, I didn’t say anything. What choice did I have? They would have killed me. I’m sure they would have been willing to. But the closer we got to executing our plan, the worse I got at everything. My hands would shake when I tried to use my knife. I’d step on branches and ruin my hiding spot. I felt sick every time I thought about killing someone. I couldn’t do it. I knew I couldn’t do it. So…”

“So you left?” Hongjoong asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Yeosang nodded. “I didn’t think I’d actually survive. Leaving was a suicide mission. But in my own mind, at the time, if I was too weak to go through with their plan, and too weak to be able to escape their grasp, I deserved to die. I still don’t understand how I survived until you found me and saved me…twice.”

“I’d do it a third time and a fourth. Whatever it takes for you to value your own life,” Hongjoong said. There was a quiet strength and resolution to his words, as tired as he sounded. “So when you told us when we first met that you were allied with BTS…”

“It was a lie, but not one far removed from the truth,” Yeosang supplied.

Hongjoong closed his eyes as he nodded. Yeosang waited for him to say something—anything. He couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken so much, and now he felt the weight of waiting for Hongjoong’s response.

“What happened to you wasn’t right or fair, but this world isn’t either of those,” Hongjoong finally said. “The fact you turned out different even though they raised you says a lot about you.” Yeosang had never considered this before; although truth be told, he’d been trying to repress his memories of how he grew up since he had joined ATEEZ. Not that he’d had much luck doing so. “The most important thing you know now,” Hongjoong continued, “is that ATEEZ will always be your home, and we’ll always be your family. Even if we argue, even if we disagree, none of that matters. When it counts, we always have each other’s backs, and we’ll always save each other, no matter how many times it takes.”

“Hongjoong…” Yeosang said. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes, as much as he tried to will them away.

“You should consider telling the other boys your background someday, too, and hear their stories as well. I think it’d be good for all of us.”

Before Yeosang could respond, Seonghwa burst into the room, panting, Jaehyun trailing right behind him. They had clearly been sprinting, but Seonghwa held up a plant triumphantly. “Found it. Our last hope.”

“We’ll get out and leave you to it,” Hongjoong said, gesturing for Yeosang to follow him.

Yeosang got up from his chair, the words he wanted to say feeling almost impossible to force from his throat. Hongjoong was almost out the door, still holding it open for Yeosang, when he finally managed to say, “Please…try to save him,” the last words coming out in a rush.

Seonghwa didn’t have time to register any surprise that it was Yeosang saying these words. “We’ll do our best.” He glanced at Jaehyun, who nodded. “We promise that.”


	10. Chapter 10

A few hours later, Jaehyun emerged from the back room. Hongjoong was sitting at the main table, looking over maps with Mingi, San, and Wooyoung, while Yunho and Yeosang sat on the ground nearby. Yeosang had been enjoying listening to Yunho’s stories about his latest hunting trip; it helped him get his mind off everything that had happened recently. Still, as soon as Jaehyun walked out, all eyes went to him.

“Seonghwa’s still working on Changkyun, but he’s stable,” Jaehyun announced, “also, Jooheon is awake…Hongjoong, you should probably talk to him. He’s a bit…confused. And panicked.”

Hongjoong was already pushing back his chair. “Yeah, of course he would be. Thanks for helping out, Jaehyun.”

“Any time,” he nodded, “I’m going back to the farm now, I left Seunghyub and Hun with a lot of work, especially since Hweseung is still busy working on the preserving jars. Let me know if you need anything else, though.” He looked towards Yeosang, his serious expression beginning to drop and his usually ever-present smile returning. “By the way, Yeosang, you should come back to the farm sometime. I’ve been practicing for our next staring competition.” With a laugh, he was gone.

Hongjoong made his way into the back room. He could already hear voices coming from inside, one of which sounded frantic.

Seonghwa was attempting to speak in a soothing tone, although it was clear his patience was wearing thin. “See, that’s our leader now. He’ll answer your questions, I promise. And once again, we’re trying to help you, not hurt you.” This last sentence had a bit of an edge to it.

Jooheon looked up at Hongjoong as he entered the room. “Who are you? Where am I? What did you do to me and Changkyun? Are you trying to hold us hostage?”

“I’m Hongjoong, ATEEZ’s leader. We brought you back here to treat you after we found you injured. Changkyun agreed to it—he’d been protecting you, but he wasn’t in great condition himself. He can confirm everything I’m saying when he wakes back up.” Hongjoong could only hope this last statement would hold true.

Jooheon narrowed his eyes. “Why would you do that?” He tried raising his left arm but failed. “And why can’t I move properly?”

“Because I’d want you to do the same thing if you found my members injured,” Hongjoong said, doing his best to keep his voice steady and calm. “As for the second question, I’ll have to defer to Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa looked up from Changkyun. Furrowing his brow, he confessed, “I don’t know, sorry. I’ve not seen anything like it. Can you move your legs, or is it just your arm that’s giving you trouble?”

It took Jooheon a moment, but he was finally able to raise his left leg slightly. “Just my arm,” he said.

“Be grateful you’ll be able to walk and you’re still alive, then,” Seonghwa said, returning his focus to Changkyun.

 “I know this must be difficult for you to take in,” Hongjoong said. “I’m not entirely clear on the details of what happened before we found you, but Changkyun indicated it was an attack after you two found yourselves in NCT territory.”

Jooheon went silent, closing his eyes. He raised his right hand to his head, rubbing it slowly. “It’s…foggy. I don’t remember everything that happened. But that sounds right.” Most of the aggression had left his voice at this point, although he still regarded Hongjoong suspiciously when he opened his eyes. “What are you going to do with us, then?”

“You can leave whenever you want, although we’re happy to have you stay until you’re healed. We can also provide you with some guidance on how to avoid NCT territory in the future, if you want,” Hongjoong offered.

Jooheon sighed. He had no way of knowing how sincere Hongjoong was, of course, but he also wasn’t in a position to assume bad intentions on his part. “Thank you,” he finally said. He turned his head slowly, “Changkyun…”

Seonghwa sat back. “I’ve done all I can for him, the rest is on him. The good news is that his fever seems to be going down.”

“He’ll be okay,” Jooheon insisted, “He’s always been a fighter.”

Seonghwa nodded. Casting a glance towards Hongjoong, he said, “I’ve been up too long, I’m not going to be of much use like this. Come get me as soon as Changkyun wakes up, though, or if there’s any changes in his condition.”

Hongjoong nodded, moving his chair to give him a better view of both Changkyun and Jooheon. After Seonghwa left, he asked Jooheon. “Your leader…if you returned permanently injured, will he still…?”

“Shownu is a great leader,” Jooheon said defensively.

“I’m sure he is,” Hongjoong agreed, “But not every group would be okay with having members who weren’t in perfect condition.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Jooheon asked.

“Of course,” Hongjoong replied.

Jooheon shifted slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Well, you shouldn’t assume you’re the only one. Changkyun and I can still make ourselves useful, a few injuries won’t stop us. Shownu will worry about us, but he’d never abandon us. If that’s what you’re trying to imply.”

“Wasn’t trying to imply anything. Just wanted to know before I sent you off,” Hongjoong explained. “If I write a letter to your leader, will you deliver it?”

“Sure, I guess,” Jooheon agreed. He closed his eyes, and Hongjoong soon realized he’d drifted off back to sleep. He spent the new few hours hunched over, scribbling out a letter to Shownu, taking breaks only to check on Changkyun and Jooheon.

Finally, he was satisfied with the letter. Hongjoong reread it one last time, tapping his fingers against his chair:

_Shownu,_

_I’m Hongjoong, leader of ATEEZ. I’m writing to you to inform you, as best I can, of what happened to Changkyun and Jooheon. We found them, injured, between our territory and Stray Kids’ territory. At that time, only Changkyun was able to talk, but he informed us that he and Jooheon had ended up in NCT’s territory. Seeing them as unwelcome invaders, NCT forcibly expelled them. This is all we were able to gather before they both passed out. We brought them back to ATEEZ’s base to address their injuries. I hope that by the time this letter reaches you, they have made the fullest recovery possible._

_I would be interested in discussing future relations between our two groups. I believe that we could continue to support each other, especially in the face of mutual threats._

_Should you wish to discuss this matter further, Changkyun and Jooheon know where to find us. I would welcome a visit from any, or all, of you._

_Hongjoong_

Hongjoong rubbed his temples. Political maneuvering had never been his favorite part of being a leader, but he recognized its necessity, especially with the NCT meeting growing ever closer.


	11. Chapter 11

It would be another two days before Changkyun opened his eyes. At this point, Jooheon was able to stand up and even walk a few steps, although he still got dizzy easily and was unable to move or feel his left arm.

Seonghwa was there when Changkyun finally regained consciousness. “Do you know who you are and where you are?” were his first questions.

“Changkyun,” he managed, and then slowly, “ATEEZ…?”

“That’s a good sign,” Seonghwa said to a worried looking Jooheon. “His memory might be a little spotty, but at least he knows the basics.”

“How are you feeling, Changkyun?” Jooheon asked. He was afraid to speak too loudly, as if that might break Changkyun.

“Like hell,” Changkyun said, wincing. “Everything hurts…but also feels like I’m floating…”

“You lost a lot of blood,” Seonghwa said. “Here, drink this. It should help with the pain.” He reached over to bring an earthen mug to Changkyun’s lips, but Jooheon stopped him.

“I’ll do it,” Jooheon said.

“But your left arm—” Seonghwa began.

“I’ll do it,” Jooheon repeated, his voice steely as he grabbed the cup in his right hand. It shook as he brought to Changkyun’s lips, dripping the liquid onto his face. Finally he succeeded in getting Changkyun to drink some. “Can you give us some time alone to talk?” Jooheon asked, his voice softer as he concentrated on his task.

Seonghwa surveyed the two of them before finally agreeing, “Yeah, okay. I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.” He left the room, searching for Hongjoong. He found him sitting on one of the couches, repairing a shirt.

“Changkyun’s awake. He and Jooheon are talking,” Seonghwa said simply.

Hongjoong nearly stabbed himself with the needle. “That’s great news!” he said with a smile. “I really wasn’t sure if he would…”

Seonghwa shook his head, “Yeah, I wasn’t either.” He took a seat next to Hongjoong, running his hands through his hair and sighing. He could feel all the tension in his body that had built up over the past few days finally beginning to melt away.

“How much longer do you think they’ll need to heal? I would rather they left before our meeting with NCT, for the sake of their own safety, but that’s in less than a week, now.”

“Realistically?” Seonghwa asked. “They won’t be back up to full form for another month at least, I’d bet. The soonest I could imagine them both being in any kind of shape to travel would be two weeks, at least.”

Hongjoong pursed his lips. “We don’t know what the situation will be after the meeting. If things escalate too much, it could make it harder for them to get back.”

“I know,” Seonghwa said, “But I can’t make them heal at superhuman speeds.”

“No, I know,” Hongjoong said, “You’ve already done an amazing job, Seonghwa. I appreciate it.”

Seonghwa shook his head. “What choice did I have? You’ve never been able to say no to someone in need, no matter what it cost. But then again, I should know, right? Even when I want to tell you that what you’re doing makes no sense, I have to remember that the same tendency of yours is why I’m here.”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong said with a small chuckle, “Wooyoung thought I was crazy for giving a total stranger my last piece of food. But we got you to join us, so it was worth in the end.”

“Wooyoung was right,” Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh a little as well. “But I guess you were, too.”

Hongjoong set the shirt he’d been working on to the side. “Should we check on them?” he asked, tilting his head towards the back room.

Seonghwa followed Hongjoong, and both Monsta X boys looked up as they entered the room. Hongjoong had never seen Changkyun with so much color in his face, although he was still relatively pale. “Sorry, did we interrupt?” Hongjoong asked.

Jooheon shook his head. Changkyun was still lying down, but Jooheon was sitting cross-legged, his back leaning against the wall. “No, but Changkyun and I talked. We’d like to leave in the next couple days.”

Seonghwa frowned. “With those injuries, I’m not sure how far you’ll make it if you leave so soon.”

“We can do it,” Changkyun insisted. His speech was slow, but his voice had more strength to it. “We’ll leave once I can walk.”

“You’ve been very generous to us, but we want get back to Monsta X,” Jooheon explained. “I can only imagine how much they’re worrying.”

“You should worry about yourselves instead,” Seonghwa said with a sigh. “I don’t care for the thought of sending you two out to your deaths.”

“It’s our choice,” insisted Jooheon. He tried to cross both his arms—an old habit—but ended up with only his right arm across his chest.

Hongjoong looked towards Seonghwa, and Seonghwa could tell how much the next words pained him. “I promised you two you could leave whenever you want. The offer stands. We’ll provide you with what assistance we can. And take the letter with you.”

Jooheon visibly relaxed as he nodded. “Of course. Thank you.”

“Hongjoong…” Seonghwa said, pulling him aside. In a whispered tone, he said, “After all that effort to save them, you’re just going to send them back out, knowing they might not make it?”

Hongjoong bit his bottom lip, chewing on it for a few moments before he whispered back, “All you can do is save them. What they do after that is up to them.”

Three days later, Changkyun was back on his feet, and much to Seonghwa’s chagrin, the two Monsta X boys stuck to their words, deciding to leave. Changkyun’s fever was gone, although he was still needed a few moments to steady himself every time he stood up. Both he and Jooheon were sporting a number of bandages across their arms and chest, although Seonghwa had been able to remove the one around Jooheon’s head. That injury, at least, was healing nicely, even if it would leave a permanent scar.

“We won’t go too fast,” Changkyun promised. He cracked a small smile, “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Thank you for the supplies and information,” Jooheon said, raising the bag he held in his good arm. “And I’ll take good care of the letter, promise.”

“You’re sure you know which herbs and powders to use when?” Seonghwa said. He’d spent the past hour explaining everything he’d packed for them in painstaking detail.

“Yeah, we got it,” Changkyun said, adding with a rueful chuckle, “At least my head is working properly now, even if nothing else is.”

“Wooyoung will take you two to the edge of our territory,” Hongjoong said. Wooyoung was already waiting for the two Monsta X boys outside, fidgeting and bouncing on his toes. He knew that he might be the last one to ever see them.

After exchanging a few more thank yous, Changkyun and Jooheon departed, Jooheon waving with his good hand.

“It’s hard to watch them go,” Seonghwa confessed. “Saving them both was a miracle. It’ll take another one for them to get back to Monsta X in one piece.”

Hongjoong sighed, watching the three figures become smaller and smaller. “All we can do is hope. With enough luck, we’ll see them and Monsta X again, in better circumstances. But for now, we have a meeting to prepare for. Stray Kids will be here any day now. Let’s go over the plan one more time.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates, life has been busy! Fear not, though, because I am still writing and still have plenty of more ideas.

The morning of the meeting with NCT was the most tense Yeosang had ever seen Hongjoong. A.C.E. had been at the base for two days now, and Chan had arrived the night before, most of Stray Kids in tow. He’d left Woojin, Minho, and Jeongin at District 9, calculating that it was too risky to leave it undefended. It was the same reason Jongho and Mingi were staying behind at ATEEZ’s base, and why Seunghyub had come up from N.Flying’s farm and was currently listening to Hongjoong’s instructions. Hongjoong delivered these instructions in a short, clipped tone that betrayed his own nerves—still professional and in command, but nowhere close to his usual easy-going leadership style.

“You’re clear, then?” Hongjoong concluded. His arms were folded across his chest, one finger tapping his side.

Seunghyub nodded. “Save ourselves first, and if then if we can, medical and food supplies. Make it our priority to alert you.” His face softened. “We’ll be fine, Hongjoong, I promise. We’ve been through a lot and survived this far. Don’t underestimate us.”

Hongjoong closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I know you will.” He opened his eyes, looking up to meet Seunghyub’s gaze. “But it’s my duty to ensure that.”

A moment of understanding passed between them, and Seunghyub smiled. “You’ve done a great job so far. We all trust you. Besides,” he chuckled, “Jaehyun can use a rake as a mean weapon. I should know, I’ve felt its wrath more than once.”

His joke only got the slightest hint of a smile from Hongjoong, but his shoulders dropped a bit as he turned to Chan and Jun. “Shall we leave, then? Wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.”

They had only been walking for around thirty minutes when Yeosang began to get a bad feeling. He hadn’t spent much time in the desert since Hongjoong had rescued him for the second time. Hongjoong had asked him if he minded coming along, and Yeosang had insisted it wouldn’t bother him at all. He’d been through far worse, he had pointed out. Now, he was beginning to question his resolve as the memories came flooding back to him.

“You alright there?” Felix asked, and Yeosang realized he had completely lost track of what they were discussing.

“Yeah, sorry,” he said, hesitating. He didn’t know Felix all that well, but Hongjoong had said they should treat Stray Kids as brothers. Easy for him to say. “I’ve had some bad experiences here,” Yeosang finally mumbled.

Felix reached out to pat him on the shoulder, and Yeosang nearly jumped out of his skin. He relaxed after a second, and Felix shot him a sympathetic glance. “It’ll be alright with all of us here,” Felix reassured him. He looked so earnest as he spoke that, for a moment, Yeosang could almost have believed him.  Instead his hand went to his knife, taking comfort in that instead.

Still, he hardly wanted to argue with Felix, so he found himself agreeing, “Yeah, you’re right. Anyway, what were you saying? Something about generating power with water?”

“Yeah!” Felix nodded enthusiastically, diving back into his explanation. “So I made this wheel, right? Out of wood, pretty simple. And the water turns the wheel, and then…”

Yeosang nodded along, trying to pay enough attention to interject comments and questions at the right moments. Any other time he would have been interested in what Felix had to say, but now he found himself obsessing over the plan, turning it over and over in his mind in attempt to keep thoughts of the last time he was in this desert from creeping back in.

“The only issue is distance so I need to work that out but—woah,” Felix stopped talking and Yeosang looked up to see what had distracted him. The palace loomed in the distance, its crumbling stairs and walls still managing to be imposing. Yeosang’s jaw clenched, and he drummed his fingers against his knife. “Have you been in it before?” Felix asked.

“Unfortunately,” Yeosang muttered, then cleared his throat. “Wasn’t planning on going back.”

Felix looked ready to ask more questions, but upon seeing Yeosang’s expression, decided to remain silent. Ahead of them, Hongjoong, Chan, and Jun had come to a halt, and everyone hurried to catch up.

When all of them were within earshot, Hongjoong asked, “Is everyone clear on the plan? No questions?” There was a brief pause before fourteen heads nodded. “Remember,” Hongjoong emphasized, “no violence unless they attack first.”

“Be aware of your surroundings and make sure you’re constantly on the look out, especially for anyone who looks like they might be leaving to go elsewhere,” Chan added.

When there was a moment of silence, Jun realized he too was supposed to speak. He cleared his throat and said, “Stay calm, and don’t let them provoke you.” His gaze was trained on Byeongkwan and Chan, who were poking each other’s sides as they tried to maintain serious expressions. As soon as they noticed Jun looking at them, they stared off into the distance innocently.

Jun sighed and looked over towards Hongjoong, who clapped his hands once to ensure he had everyone’s attention. “Right then. Let’s go meet with NCT.”


	13. Chapter 13

When they arrived at the entrance to the palace, Taeyong was already at the steps, flanked by nine members of NCT. Hongjoong suspected that there were other NCT members around here somewhere, although he hadn’t noticed them yet.

“Hongjoong, I’m glad you could make it,” Taeyong smiled warmly and extended his hand for a handshake. “I see you brought...friends along, as well.” At this last part, Doyoung pursed his lips, a frown flashing almost imperceptibly across his face.

“Yes, some of our allies were quite interested in what you had to say as well,” Hongjoong returned, emphasizing the word allies. He accepted Taeyong’s handshake, the two locking eyes until Taeyong finally pulled his hand back.

Gesturing to the palace steps, Taeyong said, “Well, let’s have a seat and get to talking then.”

Yeosang caught Hongjoong’s eyes, and they exchanged small nods. Hongjoong and Taeyong sat down on the top steps, with Seonghwa and Doyoung sitting right beside them. Meanwhile, Yeosang pushed himself onto the nearby ledge so he was looking down on them both. Jisung easily slung himself onto the ledge on the opposing side. The rest of ATEEZ, Stray Kids, and A.C.E. filled out the rest of the sides, so that they controlled both the entrance and exit to the steps. Yeosang frowned, feeling eyes on him from somewhere. He twisted slightly, scanning the area until he saw a glint coming from one of the nearby towers of the palace. Of course NCT had a contingency plan as well. He could only hope that Hongjoong had accounted for it.

To his credit, Hongjoong’s voice was much calmer than it had been earlier, although it still carried an edge to it. “I’m sure we’re all busy, so let’s cut to the chase. What’s this proposal of yours?”

Taeyong leaned back against the step, elbows resting on the path behind him. “I have a vision, you see.” He adopted a serious expression, his eyebrows furrowing. “This world has been plagued by violence and war, to the point where humanity was almost wiped out. Yet despite how few of us remain, we’re still on edge, often coming to blows. It doesn’t make any sense, does it? We’ll never rebuild the world when we’re all scattered about, fighting each other.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow. “So what are you proposing to do about it?”

Taeyong’s serious expression melted away, replaced by a smile. He leaned forward. “I want to build a better world. A more prosperous world. A more united world.” Behind him, Doyoung sighed silently, with a slight shake of his head. Paying him no mind, Taeyong continued, “We’re working on the technology to help restore the world to once it was. But as I said, we’ll never achieve it in such a divided world. So I was hoping for your cooperation, since you are our closest neighbor and all.”

“What kind of cooperation?” Hongjoong asked. He paused, then added, “Also, have you consulted Dreamcatcher yet?”

“I’m afraid I haven’t had the pleasure of speaking with Dreamcatcher yet, but I’m sure that can be rectified,” Taeyong said, confirming Hongjoong’s suspicion. It wasn’t about proximity, it was about power. “As for the cooperation, I was hoping that we could formally become allies with ATEEZ—and all of your allies as well, of course. What do you say?”

Hongjoong could feel Seonghwa tense next to him, and Hongjoong sent him a look that lasted only a millisecond before returning his attention to Taeyong. “You haven’t been interested in being allies before. What prompted the change?” Getting Taeyong to talk more was good. It bought Hongjoong time to think, and there was always a chance Taeyong might slip up and say something useful.

“Uniting more groups has always been a dream of mine, we just weren’t in a position to offer before. We wanted to ensure we had enough to bring to the table to make it an enticing offer,” Taeyong explained. Hongjoong immediately processed this as _we weren’t powerful enough before to ensure we could enforce what we wanted._ Shifting slightly, he noticed that Seonghwa and Doyoung were locked in an intense staring competition, both of them looking to be a few seconds away from ripping out the other’s throat. Seonghwa’s eyebrow was twitching, never a good sign.

“Your goal is certainly an admirable one,” Hongjoong said, forcing his voice to remain steady and calm. He looked over at Chan, who had positioned himself so he was easily in Hongjoong’s line of sight. Chan was doing his best to maintain a neutral face, although his anxiety was apparent from the way his hands had turned white gripping the wall. Hongjoong knew Chan was in a tough position. Anything Hongjoong said now would impact Stray Kids’ future as well. But if Chan jumped in too soon to assert himself, it could throw a wrench in the negotiations. What happened next depended both on how much Chan trusted Hongjoong and his overall assessment of the situation. “In the spirit of your goal, I have a counter-proposal for you,” Hongjoong finally said.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Taeyong asked. His hands clasped together, he leaned forward. Out of the corner of his eye, Hongjoong saw Chan lean forward too, although it was slight enough to be almost imperceptible.

“Let’s start with a non-aggression pact,” Hongjoong said. “That should achieve your goal of reduced violence between our groups, yes? Like the kind you inflicted on one of my members.” At this last sentence, Taeyong looked visibly taken aback. Yeosang could feel his heart slamming against the walls of his chest, threatening to break free. His palms were sweaty, and he felt like his vision might go out at any moment. How had he gotten roped into this?

“I don’t recall ever harming one of your members,” Taeyong said finally, his words slow. Doyoung nudged him, but he ignored it.

“Yeosang would beg to differ,” Hongjoong said, gesturing behind him. At the sound of his name, Yeosang nearly toppled out of his seat, but he forced himself to stay still, shoulders back. Taeyong followed Hongjoong’s gesture until he met Yeosang’s eyes. To be sure, Yeosang looked different now—being clean, free of most injuries, and not starving to death could change a person. But Taeyong could never forget those eyes.

“He didn’t say he was one of yours. He claimed he was a passing traveler,” Taeyong asserted, his eyes still on Yeosang.

“The details were fuzzy at the time, but the fact remains that you were nearly responsible for the death of one of my members. So, how about that non-aggression pact? To see if we can all live up to your ideals.” Hongjoong bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anymore. Even that last part might have been too much. He wasn’t quite sure how much he could push Taeyong.

“I don’t think that—” Doyoung began, but Taeyong cut him off.

Breaking away from Yeosang’s gaze, he looked at Hongjoong. “Yes, a non-aggression pact would be a good place to start,” Taeyong agreed.

“Taeyong! What are you doing?” Doyoung whispered, his eyes darting back and forth between Hongjoong and Yeosang. “You can’t—”

“Do I need to remind you who’s in charge here?” Taeyong asked. His voice was calm and quiet, but his facial expression was the hardest Hongjoong had ever seen it. Doyoung pursed his lips and sat back. Taeyong stood, extending his hand towards Hongjoong again. “I look forward to the direction of our future relationship,” he said, “I’ll inform all of our allies about the non-aggression pact. I’m sure you’ll do the same for yours.”

Hongjoong grasped his hand. “Of course,” he smiled. “I’ll be certain to have the ones who were here spread the word. I’m sure that this will lead to good things for all of us.”

Taeyong nodded, and with a gesture of his hand, around fifteen boys seemed to materialize out of thin air. Hongjoong couldn’t even begin to imagine where they had been all this time. “Let’s go,” Taeyong said, and they all followed him. Doyoung was already glaring at him, and Hongjoong was sure Taeyong hadn’t heard the last of Doyoung’s opinions about what just transpired.

“Shall we go as well?” Hongjoong asked. The tension wouldn’t fully leave him until they were all safely back at ATEEZ’s base. Jun was already herding the A.C.E. boys towards the exit.

Chan pushed himself off the wall and nodded, all the members of Stray Kids following suit. “That went about as well as it possibly could have, all things considered.” Color was finally beginning to return to his hands. He moved closer to Hongjoong, so it was harder for the other boys to overhear what he said next. “I’m proud of you, Hongjoong.”


	14. Chapter 14

When they had all returned to ATEEZ’s base, Jun was quick to gather the A.C.E. boys. He explained that they needed to get into the mountains before winter weather began, especially if they wanted to get a good plant haul.

“Stay safe, and stop by again soon,” Hongjoong said. The members of ATEEZ had already dispersed through the house. Seonghwa had disappeared into the kitchen, having had already heard too many complaints about being hungry during the walk back.

Jun nodded, “We’ll try to check in more frequently and make sure we stay on top of any developments with NCT.” He looked over towards Donghun, who was bent over San’s bookcase. San was talking excitedly, waving a book around and almost hitting Donghun with it. “Donghun, c’mon, we need to go!” Jun urged. Reluctantly, Donghun trudged over to join them, although not before he shoved another one of San’s books in his pack.

“You’re going to love this one, the subplot is subtle but it all comes together in the end and the two leads are so cute and—” San had followed Donghun over but cut himself off when he noticed both Jun and Hongjoong giving him a look. San cleared his throat, “Anyway, I think you’ll like it. Let me know next time. There’s supposed to a sequel, but Jongho’s never been able to find it. If he ever does—” San noticed Jun tapping his foot. “Anyway, enjoy. Have a safe trip!”

“I will, thank you! And I’ll keep the books safe, as always.” Donghun hugged his pack, emphasizing his last words.

The A.C.E. boys followed Jun out the door, and Hongjoong turned to Chan. “What about you? Leaving now as well? You’re free to stay as long as you want, of course, but I figured you might want to get back to District 9.”

Chan laughed, running a hand through his hair. “I feel bad leaving things to Woojin for too long. Besides, I have some planning of my own to do.” He lowered his voice so only Hongjoong could hear him. “You did a good job of navigating the situation, but I don’t trust things to stay stable with NCT for too long. I’d be happy if they did, of course, but even if Taeyong is sincere about his goals, I don’t trust the rest of them.”

Hongjoong leaned against the door to the back room, his arms crossed. Sighing, he said, “Yeah, I feel the same way. The most likely outcome is that we bought ourselves some time. I’m going to speak to Dreamcatcher soon. Hopefully before NCT does.”

Chan nodded slowly, beginning to make his way to the exit of the building. “Yeah, there’s a few groups I’m considering reaching out to as well. We’ll see what happens with that. If I make any progress, I’ll send someone in Stray Kids to inform you.”

“I’ll do the same for you,” Hongjoong agreed. “Let’s stay in better touch. I got too caught up in things here for the past year. I’m sorry.”

Chan shook his head. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” He smiled at Hongjoong. “But yes, let’s communicate more often. I don’t like losing track of what’s going on with you and ATEEZ.” Somehow, during the process of this conversation, Chan had managed to collect the members of Stray Kids, even prying Felix away from showing Yeosang a sketch of something that looked suspiciously explosive.

“Definitely, same for you and Stray Kids.” Hongjoong followed them out the door, waving and watching them disappear.

They’d walked for less than a minute before Chan turned and looked over his shoulder at Hongjoong. “By the way,” he said, a cheeky smile on his face, “Don’t you think you should cut your hair?”

Hongjoong touched the ends of his hair and shook his head, laughing, “No, I like it like this. I think I’ll leave it for a while.”

Chan only shrugged and laughed, waving back until he and the rest of Stray Kids faded into the distance. Hongjoong watched them go, feeling all the adrenaline that had been propelling him forwards finally starting to wear off.

“Hongjoong?” Yeosang approached him, looking slightly nervous.

Hongjoong rubbed his temples. “You’re not building whatever Felix was showing you. We only have one functional building to house us all, I can’t risk you blowing it up.”

“That’s not what I was going to ask!” Yeosang protested. “Although, I have to admit, it looked cool…”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow. “Then what were you going to ask?”

“Can I go down to the farm?” Yeosang asked. “Being in the desert, was, well…” He paused and took a deep breath, averting his eyes from Hongjoong’s gaze. “It was kind of hard for me, mentally, and I thought going down to the farm might be nice.”

Hongjoong relaxed. “Oh, yeah, of course. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you help out, anyway. Can you update Seunghyub on what happened with NCT?”

“Of course,” Yeosang nodded, already slipping out the door. Walking down the dirt road that let to N.Flying’s farm was the first time he had been properly alone in a while. It was nice not to have match his pace to anyone else’s, or pretend to nod along to a conversation when all he wanted was some quiet. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy being around ATEEZ, Stray Kids, and A.C.E. Although it felt strange to admit, even to himself, he had found himself laughing and smiling more in the past few months than he had in his life leading up to this point. Still, even if they did make him happy, sometimes he just needed to be alone. He walked slowly, taking deep breaths and staring off at the mountains in the distance. The air here was much cleaner and crisper that in the desert or than in his old territory. Occasionally he could hear a hawk crying out above him, or a mouse rustling in the grass, but other than that, the only noise was his own footsteps.

Even with his slow pace, N.Flying’s home finally came into sight. It was a simple but cozy wooden structure, situated right in front of the farm. There were four rooms: a main room and kitchen, two sleeping areas, and a back room for storage. This back room was by far the largest, and it even had a hatch in the floor that led to an underground storage area for plants that needed cooler conditions. The stone chimney and the few glass windows were the only parts of the house not built out of wood. A safe distance away from the house, to the left, sat a furnace and crafting station. Although the whole set-up was significantly smaller than ATEEZ’s main building, Yeosang couldn’t say he would mind living there. Fields stretched out behind it, with a thatched-roof shed, a stable that looked like it was struggling to stay upright, and a well visible in the distance.

Seunghyub was sitting on the steps leading up to the house, chipping away at a piece of wood with a knife. Flowers grew alongside the steps, a splash of color in a landscape that was otherwise just shades of green and brown. Seunghyub looked up when he heard Yeosang approaching and smiled. “Yeosang! Glad to see you. I assume this means the meeting with NCT went well?”

Yeosang ducked his head in greeting and said, “Yeah, Hongjoong negotiated a non-aggression pact with them. I’m sure he could give you more details.” Yeosang fidgeted for a moment before asking, “Could I help out with the farm today?”

“Yeah, of course!” Seunghyub gestured towards the fields, “Hweseung is out at the moment, but Jaehyun and Hun are in the fields. Just walk through them and I’m sure you’ll find them. They’ll be happy to see you, Jaehyun kept saying he wanted you to come back. Oh, but try not to step on anything that looks important in the field,” he added with a chuckle.

“I’ll be careful,” Yeosang promised, already making his way past the house. Seunghyub waved, calling out a ‘see you later’ before picking his knife back up and returning to his task.


	15. Chapter 15

As Seunghyub had promised, Jaehyun and Hun were easy to find, mostly owing to the fact that Jaehyun was chasing Hun through the fields, trying to touch him with a frighteningly large bug. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Yeosang, waving and yelling, “Yeosang! Hi!”

Yeosang waved back, unable to muster as much enthusiasm as Jaehyun. Jaehyun noticed the way he was eyeballing the bug and dropped it with a laugh.

“So you drop it for him, but not for me,” Hun said, staring at Jaehyun, unimpressed.

“He hasn’t been initiated yet,” Jaehyun said. Yeosang looked him, wondering if he wanted to know what kind of initiation Jaehyun was talking about. He jumped when Jaehyun walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, but for once Jaehyun wasn’t up to any tricks. “Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, looking concerned. For a man who spent most of his time yelling, laughing, or both, he was surprisingly perceptive.

“I’m fine,” Yeosang answered reflexively.

“You sure?” Jaehyun asked, studying his face. Yeosang averted his eyes.

When he sensed that Jaehyun wasn’t going accept an easy answer, Yeosang finally mustered, “Going back to the place I almost died for the meeting with NCT brought back some bad memories.”

Jaehyun looked a bit startled that Yeosang had actually answered honestly. He recovered quickly, nodding, “That would get anyone down, I’m sure. Let’s distract you.” Smiling, he asked, “Have you seen our animals yet?”

“Animals?” Yeosang asked.

“Oh, you’re gonna love this! C’mon, Hun, let’s introduce him,” Jaehyun said. He jogged over to the stable, dragging Yeosang behind him. Hun trailed after them, hands in his pockets, ready for amusement that wasn’t at his expense to unfold.

Jaehyun pushed open the stable door, which creaked in protest. Several windows allowed for natural lighting in the stable, revealing four goats and eight chickens.

“You keep these here?” Yeosang asked.

“Where did you think Seonghwa was finding the eggs you eat for breakfast every morning?” Jaehyun asked with a laugh. Pointing to two roosters, he said, “That one’s Jaehyun, and the other one is Hun. Honestly, they’re two idiots.” Gesturing to the hens, he added, “That one’s Jaeone, that one is Jaetwo, that’s Jaethree, Jaefour, Jaefive, and Jaesix, although we don’t talk about that one.”

“Those are some…creative names,” Yeosang said, raising an eyebrow. Almost unwilling, he could feel a smile tugging at his lips.

“I named the goats,” Hun chimed in. “Minhyuk, Juwon, Minjun, and Soyeon.”

“He’s so boring,” Jaehyun said, rolling his eyes. “They’re all so normal.”

Hun huffed, “Your names are dumb! You basically just named them after yourself. And you looked proud of yourself for it, too!”

“He can’t appreciate art,” Jaehyun told Yeosang in a loud whisper.

“And you can’t appreciate the art of subtlety,” Hun responded.

Both boys looked over, startled, as Yeosang started laughing. It had surprised even him, and he put a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he said, but Jaehyun was beaming.

“Would you like to try feeding the goats?” Jaehyun asked him, pulling him over to the back of the stable before Yeosang could even respond. “Here,” he said, shoving some dried plants into Yeosang’s hands. “Just offer it to them, they’ll gobble it right up.”

Hesitantly, Yeosang reached his hands out, and the goats crowded around him, jostling to get to the plants. They ripped the plants out of his hands within seconds and started licking his hands. Yeosang jumped back, startled. Meanwhile, Jaehyun was doubled over laughing. Hun was shaking his head, although he did look amused.

“Never gets old,” Jaehyun said, still laughing between words.

“You set me up!” Yeosang said, but once the shock wore off, he found himself laughing as well.

Hun glanced out the window. “We really should finish tending the fields before it gets dark,” he said, then glanced over to Jaehyun. “We could have already been done, but no, _someone_ got distracted by bugs.”

“I’ll help,” Yeosang volunteered. It was the least he could do to repay them. There was something about being around the N.Flying farm that made him feel just a little bit lighter.

“Thanks! It’s real easy work, we’re just pulling out weeds. Wait, you do you know what weeds look like versus the actual plants, right?” Jaehyun asked with a grin.

“I’ll show him,” Hun said. He tilted his head towards the door. “You coming?”

Yeosang spent the rest of the afternoon out in the fields with Hun and Jaehyun. Bending over and pulling out weeds was repetitive, physical work that should have been boring. Yet somehow, Yeosang found it strangely soothing. Being focused on one task helped him push the thoughts that he didn’t want his head away easier. Besides, Jaehyun and Hun’s banter was a constant backdrop that he could tune into when the thoughts threatened to come in anyway and he needed a laugh.

“Thanks for all of your help,” Jaehyun said, when they finally finished and were walking back towards N.Flying’s main building.

“Yeah, without you, we would have been weeding by moonlight,” Hun agreed.

Yeosang shook his head. “No, thank you. I…feel a bit better now.”

Jaehyun patted him on the back. “It shows. You actually have some color in your face.” He smiled. “Come back any time you’re feeling down. Or even if you’re not! I need someone to save me from this guy,” he said, gesturing to Hun.

“That should be my line!” Hun protested. Turning towards Yeosang, he added, “Though for once I agree with him. Come back whenever you feel like it, we’ll always be glad to have you.”

Yeosang ducked his head, unsure of what to do with both of them being nice. He finally settled on saying, “I will, thanks. I like it here. And hanging out with you two.”

Jaehyun beamed as if he had just won a prize, and even Hun smiled. “Wait here!” Jaehyun said when they reached N.Flying’s home, jogging inside. He emerged moments later, handing Yeosang a potato. “Here, a snack for the walk back. I begged it off Seunghyub. Enjoy it while it’s hot!”

Yeosang nodded, already taking a bite out of it. He hadn’t even noticed how hungry he was. Exchanging goodbyes and thank yous one more time with Jaehyun and Hun, he headed back to ATEEZ’s base, already promising himself that he would be back soon.


	16. Chapter 16

When Yeosang arrived back at ATEEZ’s base, Hongjoong and Seonghwa were engaged in a deep conversation at the main table. They both looked up as Yeosang entered.

“Have a good time?” Hongjoong asked.

At the same time, Seonghwa gave Yeosang a once over and said, “Please wash off in the river before that layer of dirt becomes permanent.”

“Yeah, I did. I actually…really enjoy their company,” Yeosang responded to Hongjoong. He inspected his arms and legs, not having realized how much dirt they had accumulated.

“I’m glad you get along so well with them, I think it’s good for you.” Hongjoong said, “They’ve lost someone too, so they know what it’s like to have painful memories.” Rather than elaborate on this seemingly important piece of information, Hongjoong simply said, “Go have that bath. We’re planning a meeting with Dreamcatcher, and you should get some rest before we head out.”

Yeosang nodded, grabbing his only change of clothes before leaving the room. The river was a less than ten minute walk away from the main ATEEZ building, and Yeosang’s favorite bathing spot was a part where the current was weak and there was enough vegetation to afford some privacy. Sometimes there would be a basket on the rocks nearby, with bars of soap based off of whatever plants had caught Seonghwa’s fancy as of late. Given how busy Seonghwa had been recently, however, Yeosang was hardly surprised to find the basket empty.  

As he sank into the water, Yeosang contemplated how strange it was to have anyone care whether he was clean or not. When he first joined ATEEZ, Seonghwa had fussed over him endlessly, forcing five different soaps on him before he was satisfied with Yeosang’s cleanliness. Yeosang had asked him why it mattered, since surely he’d get dirty within moments of going out and doing anything. Seonghwa had raised an eyebrow and asked, “Doesn’t being clean feel nice, though?” Yeosang had blamed Seonghwa’s soap for making his eyes water, but deep down he had known that wasn’t the real reason.

Staring up at the darkening evening sky, Yeosang exhaled slowly. Sitting down in the water reminded him of how exhausted he was. When he had been part of 8Eight, he had been constantly tired, wanting nothing more than to find somewhere to hide and take a nap. He wasn’t sure if he had ever slept more than a few hours at a time. Now, even though he was still pushing himself, he often forgot how tired he was until he had moments like these.

Eventually, he forced himself out of the water, since he didn’t fancy falling asleep and getting swept away. After shrugging on his change of clothes, Yeosang attempted to scrub the dirt out of what he’d been wearing earlier. He made a mental note to hang them to dry before he went to sleep, lest he incur Seonghwa’s wrath over contributing to a pile of bunched up, soggy clothes once again.

When Yeosang reached the main ATEEZ building, only Hongjoong appeared to still be up. He looked close to dozing off, and Yeosang realized that he had probably been waiting up to make sure Yeosang returned safely.

“We’re leaving a few hours after sunrise,” Hongjoong informed him in a groggy voice. “Be ready, okay?” He put his head down on the table, pushing the maps he’d been looking at aside.

“Okay,” Yeosang agreed. After looking at Hongjoong for a moment, he added, “Maybe you should go to sleep somewhere more comfortable?”

“Mm. I will,” Hongjoong said, although he showed no signs of moving.

Yeosang hung his clothes up on the rack in the corner before grabbing a blanket and spreading it out on the floor. There was still a free couch, but he wanted to give Hongjoong the option of taking it. Besides, years of sleeping on the floor meant that he felt uncomfortable sleeping on the couch, constantly feeling like he might fall off in the middle of the night. He was content to have something soft to sleep on, without rocks and gravel poking into him during the night. Yeosang knew the anxiety from earlier was still lurking somewhere in the back of his mind, but he still fell asleep feeling surprisingly content. 

As Hongjoong promised, they left early the next morning. Only Mingi, San, and Yeosang accompanied Hongjoong, as he reasoned that he didn’t want to bring too big of a force and risk coming off as intimidating or like he was trying to pick a fight. It was a gray and misty morning, and somehow this mist seemed to get thicker the closer they got to Dreamcatcher’s forest.

“I don’t like this,” Mingi mumbled. He seemed to be on edge, constantly peering around at his surroundings. “Feels like something could pop out of nowhere.”

“That’s what you said last time, and everything was fine,” Hongjoong reminded him.

“Yeah, well,” Mingi said, narrowing his eyes, “I just can’t bring myself to trust anyone who associates themselves with spiders. Besides, you’ve heard the rumors about them using magic—”

“Mingi,” Hongjoong said in a warning tone, “We’re almost in Dreamcatcher territory. You know what thoughts to keep to yourself.” Mingi let out a hmph, but went silent. His comments had piqued Yeosang’s interest, but he knew better than to ask. He honestly couldn’t remember much of the brief interaction he had had with Dreamcatcher, which he supposed was natural given how close he had been to passing out the entire time. Lost in his thoughts, he nearly tripped over Hongjoong, who had stopped, one arm outstretched. Yeosang followed his line of sight until he noticed a shimmering light breaking through the mist near the tree line.

“This is ATEEZ, and we’re here on business,” Hongjoong called out in a steady, clear tone.

After a moment, the light began to float closer and closer, until suddenly a black-cloaked figure appeared before them. She pushed her hood back to reveal long, wavy silver hair. In her left hand, she clutched a torch, and in her right hand she held what appeared to be a polished bone. “Hongjoong,” she said, before nodding at the other boys. Tilting her head, she asked, “What business brings you here?”

“Hello, Yoohyeon,” Hongjoong said. He had dropped his arms to his sides, assuming a comfortable but confident posture. “We had a meeting with NCT recently, and I was hoping to discuss the results of that, and possible future directions in our relationship with Dreamcatcher, with Jiu.”

“Oh, this is about NCT?” Yoohyeon asked, a slight smile forming on her face.

“Mostly, yes,” Hongjoong conceded. “Why, did they come and talk to you already?”

“They did,” Yoohyeon affirmed, fully grinning now. It was such a contrast to the rest of her appearance and surroundings that Yeosang almost found it disconcerting.

“And how did that go?” Hongjoong asked.

“We told them they were free to come to converse with us,” Yoohyeon said, bringing the polished bone to her mouth. Yeosang hadn’t noticed it before, but there seemed to be holes carved into it. She blew into it, releasing a haunting, deep sound that seemed to echo through the air. Dropping her hand, she smiled, adding, “If they spoke to the spiders first, that is.”

Out of nowhere, several spiders materialized around Yoohyeon’s feet. One of them was large enough that it almost reached her knees. Mingi looked about ready to pass out. He had turned a pale white color and was gripping Yeosang’s arm hard enough to leave bruises.

Yoohyeon turned around and began to walk away, the spiders following her. When the ATEEZ boys didn’t move, she called back, “Well, are you coming to see Jiu or not?”


	17. Chapter 17

Hongjoong was the first to regain the use of his legs. Before following Yoohyeon, he whispered to San and Yeosang, “Drag Mingi along with you and keep him from saying anything that will jeopardize this mission.” He clenched his jaw. “Please.” Hongjoong strode off, as Yoohyeon’s light was already starting to flicker into the distance.

Grabbing Mingi’s arm, San hissed, “Why did you even come along?”

Mingi groaned, though he let San pull him forward. “Because Hongjoong told me it’d be good for me to overcome my prejudices and face my fears. Or some nonsense like that.”

“Of course he did,” San said with a sigh. “Just follow along quietly and make this less painful for all of us, okay?”

Yeosang was at a loss for how to help, so he simply walked behind San and Mingi silently. He justified it to himself by reasoning that he could at least try to block Mingi if he got out of San’s grasp and made a run for it, although that scenario seemed highly unlikely. He had to admit, this forest was unsettling. It was day, but it was hard for him to see more than a few feet in front of him. The fog almost felt like it could choke him as it swirled between the pine trees. If he lost sight of San and Mingi in front of him, Yeosang wasn’t sure that he would be able to make it out of the forest. The only signs of life here were the occasional cries of ravens, as they swooped low and came startingly close. One landed on a branch in front of Yeosang and stared at him intently, almost as if it was judging him. Yeosang averted his eyes and hurried forward. It was hard to blame Mingi for not wanting to be here.

Slowly, the fog seemed to thin out, and Yeosang could make out a building in the distance. It was bigger than any he’d seen before, having at least three stories and sprawling out across the forest floor. Surprisingly, it was white in color, although that helped it blend it with the mist around it. He wondered if they had found it or built it themselves. A short-haired girl was standing in front of the gate that encircled house, looking bored and twirling a staff. She looked vaguely familiar, though Yeosang was having a hard time remembering much about her. Hongjoong had stopped while Yoohyeon spoke to the girl, and Yeosang caught up to him, San, and Mingi. San still had a death grip on Mingi’s shoulder, as Mingi nervously eyed the spider that had climbed on to Yooheyon’s shoulder.

After exchanging a few words with Yoohyeon, the short-haired girl opened the gate. As Yeosang passed through, she eyed him up and down. She arched one eyebrow. “You’re the guy who nearly wandered into our territory half-dead. Yeosang?”

Yeosang stared at her, shocked she remembered his name. Clearing his throat, he said, “Uh, yeah, I am. Sorry about that.”

She shrugged. “It all got resolved, and it’s in the past. I’m sure Hongjoong won’t let you do it again.” Her face remained indifferent, although she was tapping her fingers against her staff.

“Yeah, Hongjoong always wants to be respectful of Dreamcatcher,” Yeosang said, trying to choose his words carefully. “And I’m sorry, I forgot your name. I don’t remember much from that…incident.”

She blinked at him, and for a second, he thought she was going to laugh. Her face returned to its usual inscrutable expression, though, and she said, “I’m Dami.” Tilting her head towards the house, she added, “You should go now. Catch up.”

 “Right,” Yeosang agreed. He hurried after the others, casting one last glance back at Dami. She had returned to her original post, staring out at the forest and spinning her staff.

San was holding the doors of the house open for Yeosang. “Should we slam them shut and trap Mingi inside forever?” he whispered to Yeosang. Mingi glared at him, while Yeosang stifled a chuckle. Hongjoong gave them all a disapproving look.

Yoohyeon ignored their antics and smiled as she said, “Just a moment, let me check in with Jiu! Wait right here.”

Yeosang looked around the main entrance room. The spiders had disappeared along with Yoohyeon, which was not altogether comforting. Yeosang preferred them being in his line of sight. Although there were several ornate wooden bookcases, books and papers still littered the floor. Some were worn and torn around the edges, others were perfectly bound as if they hadn’t been touched in years. Yeosang could tell that San was itching to rifle through them, as he kept inching towards a particularly large, leather-bound black book. When Hongjoong stared at him, San stopped, straightened his posture, and looked pointedly away from the book.

Yeosang frowned as he observed the walls. They were blue in color, with faded flower patterns, but that wasn’t what concerned him. He could have sworn that there were more windows on the outside of the building than there were on the inside, which didn’t feel like it should be possible. Not to mention that one of the walls was covered in clocks; Yeosang had only seen three or four clocks in his life, and now around twenty were slowly ticking in front of him. A deer’s head was positioned on another wall, right next to a mirror that was too high to be of any use. There was one table in the corner, but all that was on it were a few flickering candles. On top of everything else, there appeared to be an absurd number of doors lining all three hallways that extended out of this front room. Somehow, this house felt like it might be more of a maze than the forest outside.

When Yoohyeon reappeared, Yeosang was certain it was from a completely different hallway than the one she had originally walked down. “Jiu said she’d be happy to see you. Come along!” she beckoned them, leading them down the third hallway that she had neither entered from nor emerged from before. Yeosang was half convinced that he was dreaming at this point. They passed by six doors before Yoohyeon stopped, pulling one open and gesturing them inside.


	18. Chapter 18

Compared to the main entrance room, there was more light in this room. The forest was visible through the windows, although it still seemed odd that so much light was coming through them given how dark it had been outside. Paintings, a frighteningly large amount of which depicted skulls, covered the walls. Jiu sat in a wooden chair in the center of the room, shuffling through some papers with drawings on them. A red apple sat on the side of the table, a silver knife stabbed through it.

Jiu looked up at them and stood to greet them. She had long red hair and wore a black dress that didn’t quite reach her knees, tied with a sash across her waist. “It’s nice to see you again, Hongjoong,” she said with a smile. “Yoohyeon said you had business?”

“Yes,” Hongjoong nodded, “Thanks for seeing us on such short notice.”

“Not a problem for an old friend,” Jiu said. Yoohyeon pulled over several chairs, allowing them all to sit down around the table.

Yeosang gave San and Mingi a curious glance, and San leaned over to whisper in his ear. “They knew each other from the old Mixnine alliance,” San explained, and Yeosang nodded in understanding.

 “Yoohyeon told us that NCT had come to visit Dreamcatcher. We recently had a meeting with them ourselves, which resulted in a non-aggression pact, and I was wondering if they had tried to offer anything to you,” Hongjoong began. He clasped his hands, resting them on the edge of the table.

Jiu leaned back in her chair. “Yes, they did try to stop by. Negotiations didn’t exactly get far.” She glanced over at Yoohyeon, who raised the bone flute from earlier and waved it in the air. Jiu continued, “They said something about wanting to be allies, but apparently they weren’t too eager to be on the same side as the spiders.” She shrugged. “You know how I feel about being allies, anyway.”

“No exceptions?” Hongjoong asked.

Jiu raised her eyebrows. “What are you asking?”

“Just curious,” Hongjoong responded.

Jiu shook her head, and her eyes flashed. “No exceptions. No matter the intention, we all know what happens when groups become allies. One ends up in charge. And I won’t stand for that with Dreamcatcher. I have no love for NCT, but we won’t bend the knee to you, either.”

Putting all pretense aside, Hongjoong leaned forward. “Then let’s be partners.”

“What?” Jiu cocked her head at him, then frowned. “Are you trying to be clever? Do you think I’m going to agree because you phrased the same arrangement in a slightly different way?”

“No,” Hongjoong shook his head so hard that his hair flew upwards. “That’s not what I mean, really.”

Jiu still looked skeptical, but she seemed intrigued by Hongjoong’s sincerity. “Then whatever do you mean? Please do elaborate.”

“Equal partners. We share information, help each other out if needed, and band together against common threats. But neither of us imposes decisions on the other, everything we do has to be agreed on by both parties—”

Jiu sighed, cutting him off. “You’re describing what being allies should be, but never is. Why should I trust that being _partners_ with you would be any different?” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Look, I’ve never wished any harm on ATEEZ. What we’ve had up until now has worked. Why should we change it?”

Hongjoong chewed on his bottom lip as he listened to her. When she finished, he said, “I respect your desire to keep Dreamcatcher independent. I feel the same way about ATEEZ. And I don’t have any desire to make you subordinate to us. I just worry about what might happen in the future. If it comes down to it, I want to know that we’re on the same side. I don’t want to have to wonder.” He locked eyes with Jiu. “I’m not asking this as a leader, Jiu, I’m asking this as a friend. Whatever word we want to call the agreement, let’s be on the same side.”

Jiu stared back at him before slowly shaking her head. “You’re something else, Hongjoong. I’ve met plenty of leaders in my time, but none quite like you.”

“Is that a yes?” Hongjoong asked.

Still shaking her head, Jiu said, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes. It is.” She considered him for a moment. “On one condition. I’ll let the rest of Dreamcatcher know, and you can tell the rest of ATEEZ, but I don’t want it spread beyond us. Is that understood?”

“Understood perfectly,” Hongjoong nodded. “I’m happy to keep it just between us.”

“Well then,” Jiu stood up and pushed her chair back. “I have a lot of work to address, and I’m sure you do, too.” Her tone softened. “But thank you for coming today, Hongjoong.” She smiled. “I look forward to being on the same side as you.”

Hongjoong smiled back at her, waving as Yoohyeon led them out of the room. His shoulders had relaxed, though he still appeared to be on guard. They followed Yoohyeon back to the main room, emerging from the hallway on the left. The more Yeosang tried to understand this house’s design, the less he could comprehend.

Yoohyeon saw him staring back at the hallways and laughed. “Good luck trying to figure it out. It took me weeks, I don’t think you’re going to get it in a visit.” Yeosang hadn’t realized he’d been so blatant about his curiosity, but luckily Yoohyeon seem more amused than upset. She pulled open the front doors, ushering them outside, where Dami was still standing guard. She barely acknowledged them as they passed by, although Yeosang could swear he could feel her eyes on his back. He refused to turn around and confirm this, instead focusing on following Yoohyeon into the ever thickening mist of the forest.

Yoohyeon stopped, suddenly, almost causing Hongjoong to crash into her. He stopped just in time, although the same couldn’t be said for Mingi, who was still being dragged around by San and nearly toppled him over. Yoohyeon smiled brightly, ignoring the chaos behind her. “I’ll leave you guys here. Just keep walking straight and you’ll make it back. Oh, and,” she paused, “don’t be alarmed if you run into anyone else.” With that, she turned on her heel and left. She no longer carried a torch, and she quickly disappeared into the forest, vanishing without a trace.

Hongjoong ran a hand through his hair. “Well, alright then. Straight it is.” 


	19. Chapter 19

They trudged through the forest in silence until San asked Mingi, “Isn’t this a nice atmosphere? I really like how you just can’t tell what might be in front of you, or beside you, or behind you. Personally, I’m also a fan of how the fog twists itself into spectral shapes, and ooh, was that a spider?”

“San,” Hongjoong said in a warning voice, taking note of Mingi’s pale demeanor. “I’d prefer if everyone survived this trip home, so think about what you’re saying.” Although he tried to keep his tone light, there was a definite edge to it, and San lapsed into silence again. From the mischievous glint in his eye, Yeosang guessed San was exerting a lot of willpower. Yeosang fell to the back of the group, trying to keep a watchful eye on his surroundings. Yoohyeon’s parting statement, as playful as it had sounded, had left him feeling cautious. Given how little around him he could see—even the ground was carpeted in white mist—he was on edge.

“Hey, did you hear that? Sounded like branches snapping,” San said.

“San, what did I just tell you? Not the time for your jokes,” Hongjoong replied with a sigh.

“No, I heard it too,” Yeosang said, furrowing his brow. “Coming from…behind us?”

Hongjoong stopped in his tracks. “San and Mingi, walk past me, and whatever you do, one of you stay facing the direction we’re meant to be walking in at all times. Is that understood?”

“Got it,” San nodded, looking a bit nervous now. He pulled a frozen Mingi along with him. “Just stay facing this way and don’t look, shouldn’t be too hard for you in this state,” San muttered.

Hongjoong joined Yeosang and closed his eyes, trying to focus on any noise. Instead, there was only an eerie silence. He opened his eyes and pursed his lips. “Hello?” he called out.

“Oh, I suppose the ruse is up. Well done,” came a response. Out of the fog emerged a girl with blonde hair, pulled back to keep it out of her face. She wore an all-black ensemble of a dress, long coat, gloves, and boots. She projected a cool but calm confidence.

“It’s good to see you, as always. How are you, Siyeon?” Hongjoong asked, looking relieved.

“Making sure your observation skills aren’t getting too weak. Honestly, I’m a bit disappointed in how long it took you, but I suppose you’ve had a long day,” Siyeon said.

“You could say that, but I’m loathe to make any excuses,” Hongjoong responded, with a slight tilt of his head. “I’m glad we have allies like Dreamcatcher to keep us sharp. Hopefully we can do the same for you.”

Siyeon’s eyebrows arched. “Allies, you say? That’s certainly new.”

“I suppose you can ask Jiu about that when you return. I wouldn’t want to be too presumptive in being the one to deliver the explanation. But we are certainly honored to have you on our side.” Although Hongjoong’s tone was polite and formal, Yeosang could sense he was trying to hide a smile. It left him wondering if Siyeon had also been a part of Mixnine.

“Well, I best get back quickly so I can hear this intriguing news,” Siyeon said. She snapped her fingers, and two white wolves materialized out of the mist. They were large, coming up almost to her chest, with piercing blue eyes. At moments they seemed solid, but the next the wind appeared to ripple through them. Yeosang couldn’t tell if their fur was blowing in the breeze or if it was just fog. Siyeon gave a low whistle, and then added, “Isn’t that right, Laync? Hodun?” Both wolves gave a howl in response, and Yeosang could feel every hair on his body stand up. Suddenly, his feet were rooted to the spot.

Hongjoong, however, was unfazed. “I’m glad to see your rapport with animals has continued. Really, all of Dreamcatcher excels at it, from what I can tell,” he offered, and Yeosang could swear he saw a smile flit across Siyeon’s face.

“I’ve been raising these two for years now. They’re my pride and joy,” Siyeon confessed, and her tone was the warmest it had been the entire encounter. “Well, I’ll make my departure now. It was good seeing you again, Hongjoong. Stay sharp.” With a nod to Yeosang, she turned around and was soon swallowed by the fog. One of the wolves followed her. The other stayed, staring at Yeosang. Yeosang stared back, still unable to move. His gaze was only broken when a piercing whistle broke through the forest, causing the wolf to dip its head and turn, finally leaving the ATEEZ boys alone again.

“Never a dull moment with Dreamcatcher,” Hongjoong observed, striding forward again. “Glad to see Siyeon hasn’t changed.”

“Um, Hongjoong?” San asked.

“Yes?” Hongjoong asked, suddenly sounding tired again.

“Mingi isn’t responding to me,” San said, illustrating this by poking Mingi in the sides repeatedly. “And he’s had his eyes open for so long that he could give Yeosang a run for his money in a staring competition.”  

Hongjoong placed a hand on each of Mingi’s shoulders, although he had to reach up to do so. He shook him gently. “C’mon, Mingi. We’ll be out of this forest soon. You can do it. I believe in you.” He paused, waiting for a response. When he didn’t receive one, he shook Mingi a little harder. “You’re stronger than this. I know it. So do you. You’re safe, you’re with us. Let’s keep going.”

Mingi blinked, slowly. He looked down at Hongjoong, who let go of his shoulders. Coughing, Mingi said, “I’m fine. Fine. I was just focused on your instructions. To make sure we didn’t get lost. Because that’s important.”

Hongjoong gave San a look that said any joking remarks would be met with punishment later, before nodding at Mingi. “You did that well. Now, keep walking.”

Yeosang wasn’t sure how much time had passed when the fog finally began to thin and the desert became visible in the distance. As they crossed the edge of the forest, he glanced over his shoulder one last time. He should have known that all he would see would be thick fog and ominous tree-tops, but he could have sworn that for a moment, the fog swirled in the shape of a wolf. When he looked again, it was gone, and Hongjoong was calling for him to hurry up. He couldn’t help but check one more time as he complied, but there was nothing to be seen.

“How are you feeling?” Hongjoong was asking Mingi when Yeosang caught up to them.

“Why are you babying him?” San asked. His arms were swinging loosely at his side, no doubt glad to finally be able to let go of Mingi and have him walk on his own.

“I’m fine!” Mingi insisted. His voice dropped. “It’s just, don’t you think, their entire area is a little…off?”

“What tipped you off?” San asked dryly. “Was it the giant spiders? Maybe the endless maze of a house? Or wait, no, maybe the possibly-real possibly-not wolves?”

“There were wolves?” Mingi asked.

“You sure were doing a great job keeping track of the direction we were supposed to walk in. A real single-track mind,” San said, unable to keep a grin off his face.

Hongjoong shrugged. “To be honest, I thought the wolves were cute. They suit her.”

“Cute?” Yeosang couldn’t help but question.

“You didn’t think so?” Hongjoong asked, looking genuinely surprised.

Yeosang frowned. “I’m not sure if cute is the word I’d use. They were certainly…something.”

Hongjoong shrugged again. “To each their own.” He clapped Mingi on the back. “We’ll be home by sunset. Take the rest of the day off. You too, San, Yeosang,” he said, preempting any questions of favorable treatment. “Today was a productive day. I’m pleased.”

The rest of the way back was comprised mostly of San and Mingi’s bickering. Hongjoong kept a watchful eye on them but, now that they were out of Dreamcatcher territory, didn’t bother to interfere. Instead, he walked next to Yeosang in comfortable silence, no doubt replaying how the meeting with Dreamcatcher had gone and formulating future plans. When ATEEZ’s base came into sight, the rusted metal of their main building standing out against the faded colors of the sunset, he finally spoke to Yeosang. “I have a proposal for you, if you’re up for it.”

It took Yeosang a moment to respond, as lost in his own thoughts as he’d been. “Yes?”

“Jongho will be heading out on a scavenging expedition soon. How would you feel about accompanying him? You two haven’t spent much time together, so it’d be good for you, and it’s one of the only tasks you still haven’t tried.”

Yeosang considered it for a moment. It was true he didn’t know Jongho almost at all, and he was reluctant to go on a long trip with someone he might not get along with. Still, he knew Hongjoong wouldn’t accept that as an excuse, and he probably shouldn’t, since he wanted ATEEZ to be a family. Besides, Yeosang had to admit he was curious about what he might be able to find in the ruins. “Sure, I’ll go,” he decided.

Hongjoong smiled, patting him on the shoulder. “Good. You can discuss the details with Jongho over dinner when we get back.”

Yeosang nodded. “I’ll do that.” At the thought of dinner, his stomach rumbled, and Hongjoong chuckled.

“If you ask nicely, Seonghwa might give you a double portion. Now c’mon, let’s get home.”


	20. Chapter 20

Jongho had responded with an easy “sure, you can come along” when Yeosang approached him that evening and told him that Hongjoong wanted him to come along. However, he hadn’t exactly discussed much in the way of details with Yeosang. He had simply said to be ready to go the next morning, and to expect to be out for a couple of weeks. Jongho had then wolfed down his food and secluded himself in the corner with a pile of unidentifiable objects and a few maps. Not wanting to interrupt, and not knowing exactly what he’d say anyway, Yeosang had stayed seated and ate his dinner more slowly, half-listening to Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s conversation about the Dreamcatcher situation. He’d occasionally glance over at Jongho, but he never caught Jongho looking back. Eventually, he decided his best option was to take a bath and sleep.

In the morning, he threw a few items in his rucksack after eating breakfast. Jongho told him he needed just a few more minutes to finish packing and for Seonghwa to prepare a few food rations, so Yeosang hung around the main table and waited for him.  

He watched as San and Mingi had headed out on a brief exploration trip together. Turning to Hongjoong, he asked, “Will they be alright?”

“Hmm?” Hongjoong had his head buried in one of San’s book, slowly turning the pages. “What? Yes, of course. San and Mingi get along great, they’re quite close.”

“But just yesterday, you were reprimanding San for teasing Mingi…” Yeosang trailed off.

This time Hongjoong looked up at him. “Oh, that? Well there’s a time and a place, but it’s not a big deal. Mingi only lets San tease him like that because they’re so close. Trust me, if he actually was upset with San, you’d know.” Taking in Yeosang’s skeptical look, Hongjoong’s voice softened. “It may not be a dynamic you’re familiar with, but I promise you, someday you can have it too. It just takes time.” Yeosang tried to smile back at Hongjoong, although his expression faltered. It was hard to imagine himself ever talking to anyone like that. “Now, it looks like Jongho is ready, so go explore some ruins. And if you get any useful information while you’re up there, let me know,” Hongjoong prompted.

Yeosang nodded, and as he turned to leave, Hongjoong added, “Oh, and don’t be worried. You’ll get along just fine with Jongho. Have a good time! Be safe, don’t make any rash decisions.”

Yeosang paused for a moment, wondering how Hongjoong had known. “Thank you, I’ll be careful,” was all he responded with, but Hongjoong caught the small smile on his face.

“Do you have everything you need?” Jongho confirmed with Yeosang, before they walked out the door. Yeosang patted his side, confirming that his sheathed knife was strapped to his leg. Pulling on the strap of his rucksack, which he slung over his shoulder, he double-checked that it had his change of clothes, a cloth he could use as a blanket if it got too cold, and a book about useful materials that he might find in the ruins. Essentially everything in his rucksack was something Hongjoong had insisted he take.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Yeosang said.

“Alright then,” Jongho nodded. “We’re heading north. There’s a small city I’ve passed by a few times near the mountains. Not in anyone’s territory. I’ve never fully explored it, because there used to be a huge feral dog population. Hongjoong insisted that meant it wasn’t safe and ordered me to stay away. Apparently A.C.E. cleared it out recently, though, so now we have his permission. Although he wasn’t happy that _they_ took that risk, either, but he couldn’t really tell Jun off for it. The point is, we’re in the clear.”

“Right,” Yeosang said. “Well, hopefully we’ll find some interesting things there.”

“Mm,” Jongho agreed, and they lapsed into silence. Yeosang wanted to say something, but every time he opened his mouth, his throat felt dry and his tongue seemed to stick to the roof his mouth.

They passed N.Flying’s farm, and Yeosang thought he could see Jaehyun out in the fields. He assumed the figure running away from Jaehyun at an impressive speed was Hun, and for a moment he wanted to ditch Jongho and ask Seunghyub if he could work on the farm for a couple of weeks instead. But he forced himself to keep walking. Jongho stared off into the distance, lost in his own world.

“Do you enjoy going ruin hunting?” Yeosang finally blurted out. It came out so quietly that for a second, he thought Jongho hadn’t heard him.

“Hmm? Yeah, I do,” Jongho said after a moment, without elaborating. Yeosang could only nod. He knew he could ask why, but it didn’t feel right to pry. At the same time, the longer they went without talking, the more the silence ate at him. Usually he welcomed the quiet, but now he was starting to wonder if he should really be here at all. He could hear Hongjoong’s voice in the back of his head, telling him to just try and be friendly, and the rest would work itself out. Then again, it was Hongjoong’s fault he was here in the first place. Hongjoong and his stupid belief that everyone could just get along and be friends, as if it was all that simple.

“You alright?” Jongho asked, breaking Yeosang out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, why?” Yeosang asked.

Jongho shrugged. “You were mumbling something to yourself.”

Yeosang could feel heat rising to his cheeks, and he looked away. “Oh. Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”

They walked in silence again for a bit. With the open grasslands around them, there wasn’t much Yeosang could use to distract himself. Finally, Jongho spoke again. “Ruin hunting is fun because it’s always an adventure. You don’t know what you’ll find next. That’s why I enjoy it.”

Yeosang glanced over at Jongho. His expression was perfectly neutral and difficult to read. “Oh. Right. Well, that makes sense. Is there, um, anything you’ve always wanted to find?”

Jongho hummed as he thought. “A clock would be cool. Regardless of whether or not it works. Just to be able to see one, try taking it apart. I found the broken pieces of one, once, but that wasn’t worth much.”

Yeosang scrunched his forehead. “There was a whole wall full of clocks at Dreamcatcher’s base. It was pretty eye-catching.”

“Wait, really?” Jongho asked, and for the first time he sounded excited. “What were they like?”

“Um,” Yeosang tried to think of how to describe them. “Well, they were all different shapes and sizes. Some were round, some had sharp edges. Some were big and took up almost the entire length of the wall from top to bottom, and some looked like they could almost fit in your hand. They were painted different colors, too…” He trailed off as he struggled to remember more about them. Everything about Dreamcatcher’s base had been so overwhelming that it was difficult to remember fine details.

“Hm, sounds cool, wish I could have seen it. Maybe I’ll ask Hongjoong to take me next time,” Jongho mused.

“You should. It’s definitely something to experience,” Yeosang agreed. They lapsed back into silence, but this time it felt slightly less suffocating. Yeosang still jumped the next time Jongho spoke to him, pointing out that the mountains had come into view on the horizon. He jumped again a few hours later, when Jongho suggested they set up camp for the night, but it was at least a smaller jump.

When they sat down to eat dinner, Jongho pulled an apple out of his pack. Yeosang reached for his knife, but Jongho shook his head. “No need,” he said. Gripping the apple between his hands, he concentrated for a second, then pulled, breaking the apple in half. He handed one of the halves to Yeosang as he bit into his own.

Yeosang stared at him. “Woah,” he said, as he accepted his half. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

Jongho laughed. “I love the surprised faces every time. Mingi still freaks out, it’s great.”

“It’s impressive,” Yeosang said, and Jongho looked proud.

Over the next few days, Yeosang slowly got used to the routine of waking, packing up, walking, finding food along the way, walking some more, and setting up camp for the night. He and Jongho barely talked unless they were pointing something out or asking for help, and Yeosang still felt slightly on edge. He couldn’t imagine how this could ever turn into something like San and Mingi’s relationship, but at least he no longer wanted to run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This section (Jongho and Yeosang go exploring) was initially meant to be short. It got...not short, so buckle in, everyone. Hope you're ready for the ride!


	21. Chapter 21

Yeosang had nearly lost track of how many days they’d been walking when buildings finally loomed into sight on the horizon. Jongho picked up his pace as soon as he spotted them. “The ones are the front used to be people’s houses,” he explained. “A lot of them were abandoned near the start of the war, and people left most of their possessions behind. Some of the buildings have been bombed to pieces, of course, but others survived, if the other cities I’ve seen are anything to go off of. It’s worth going through all of them. I’ll show you the best way to sort through things, and then we can split up and work on different houses at the same time. Sound good?”

“Sure,” Yeosang agreed. The prospect of having proper alone time, without worrying about what he should or shouldn’t be saying, was tantalizing.

The door of the first house they approached was long gone, and all of the windows were shattered. Otherwise, the house had held up surprisingly well from the outside. “Watch your step once we get inside,” Jongho warned as he walked up the steps, “sometimes you can’t easily tell that the floor has rotted, and you’ll fall straight through.” Jongho inched inside slowly, Yeosang following him. Light filtered through the broken windows, but it was still murky inside. Blinking, Yeosang let his eyes get used to the lower light levels. It was then that a foul, putrid smell assaulted his nostrils. He glanced over at Jongho, who shrugged. “Lots of things come in here and end up dead. Rats, squirrels, birds.” With that comforting thought, he continued forward. “I’ve noticed patterns for these houses. Most of them have a food preparation place, rooms where people would sleep, places people would wash themselves, and then places where apparently they’d just sit around. Don’t ask me about that last one, it’s what San said based on his books.” Gingerly, Jongho lifted a foot out, pressing it again the floor. When it held, he took more confident steps forward. “Just go room by room, systematically. Open drawers and cupboards. If they’re stuck, it’s usually worth trying to pry them open. Just make sure you’re not somewhere that anything can fall on you. Never stick your hand somewhere you can’t see, you don’t know what might be inside. Watch out for sharp things.” Jongho tapped his chin. “That’s pretty much it, I think. Don’t do anything dumb.”

“I’ll be careful,” Yeosang promised for what felt like the umpteenth time. They made their way through each room of the house, but all they found was rotting wooden furniture, moth-eaten clothes, and the rotting carcasses of one too many animals.

As they emerged out of the house, Jongho shrugged. “Sometimes it’s like this. You can go a whole day and find almost everything worth taking back in one building.” He surveyed the street stretching out in front of them. “You take the house across the street, I’ll take the next one up.” He jabbed his thumb at one of the most debilitated looking buildings on the block, with a caved in roof and holes in the wall. Grinning, he added, “Sometimes the worst buildings have the best finds. Once you’ve finished looking through yours, just wait outside so we can meet back up before we move on.”

“Alright, sounds good,” Yeosang agreed. The house Jongho had assigned him was in similar condition to the one they had just been in together, although it still had a front door barely attached to its hinges. Yeosang pushed it open and stepped inside. This house didn’t smell as bad, thankfully, and the stone floor felt less prone to collapsing in on him. He walked down a hallway into what he assumed had once been the food preparation room and began pulling drawers open. Surprisingly, there were still items inside, and he began to pile them onto the rickety table in the center of the room to sort through later. Most of the items were rusted, but if they were otherwise in good condition, Yeosang planned on taking them back. The ones that seemed to disintegrate when he touched, he pushed aside. He was about halfway through sorting when suddenly he heard a piercing scream. Head jerking up, he looked around. Another scream filled the air. Hand going to his knife, Yeosang ran down the hallway. Seeing nothing, he pushed open the front door with such force that it fell off the hinges. A third scream rang through the air, and he pinpointed the direction of the noise. It was coming from up the street.

Yeosang sprinted up the street, slowing down only when he got to the entrance of the house Jongho had volunteered to explore. Pulling out his knife, he yelled out, “Jongho?”

There was silence for a moment, then a growl followed by another scream. Yeosang heard it coming from his left and without thinking ran down the hallway. It was dark and difficult to see, causing him to trip over something and go skidding. Ignoring the pain in his foot, he kept running until he reached a large, open room. He could barely make out Jongho, pinned to the floor by a dog than rivaled the size of Siyeon’s wolves. It had dark black fur and jagged claws on each paw. Somehow, Jongho had been separated from his pack, and he had no weapons. He was trying to push the dog off him, but one of his arms was limp at his side.

“Hey!” Yeosang yelled, trying to get the dog’s attention. “Hey!” he yelled louder, advancing with his knife held in front of him. The dog turned and lunged at him, knocking Yeosang off his feet. He managed to roll and avoid being pinned down, but he was barely upright before the dog lunged at him again. He lashed out with his knife, slicing the dog. It snarled, but despite the blood running down its fur, the wound didn’t seem to be deep enough to bother it. Out of the corner of his eye, Yeosang could see Jongho trying to crawl towards his pack. In the moment Yeosang was distracted, the dog pounced on him again, this time with enough force to send him stumbling backwards, into the wall. The dog followed after him, and Yeosang ducked down as it jumped towards him, aiming for its heart. He sunk his knife in just as he felt the dog’s claws rake against his shoulder. The dog shuddered, its paw dropping away from him. It staggered away from Yeosang, then fell to the ground, still occasionally spasming.


	22. Chapter 22

Yeosang eyed the dog cautiously, not wanting to approach it when it might have one last bite left. He looked over at Jongho. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I should be,” Jongho said, his voice shaking. “I have some medical supplies from Seonghwa in my pack. I’ll get them for you, too.” He paused, rifling through his pack until he found what he was looking for. Yeosang walked over to him, giving the dog a wide berth. Jongho held out some cloth, dried plants, and a small jar of medicinal cream towards Yeosang. He accepted them and sat down next to Jongho, both oriented so they could keep an eye on the dog. Yeosang’s heart still felt like it might beat out of his chest, and he forced himself to take deep breaths.

Yeosang looked over Jongho’s wounds. Luckily, none seemed to be too deep. He spread the medicinal cream over each wound, pressed the leaves over them, then wrapped them with the cloth. Jongho winced throughout the process, but stayed silent. When Yeosang finished, Jongho moved his arm up and down slowly. “Should be alright in a few days,” Jongho assessed. He gestured for Yeosang to turn so that he could look at Yeosang’s wounds. Jongho began repeating the procedure Yeosang had done for him, although it took less time.

“Thank you,” Yeosang said once Jongho had finished.

Jongho shook his head. “No, thank you. If you hadn’t come when you did…” He stared down at his hands. “I don’t know what would have happened. I was too engrossed in digging through this room and the dog caught me completely by surprised. Dumb of me.”

“I’m glad I got here in time,” Yeosang said. “Hopefully that was the only one…” He glanced around as if another dog might materialize out of nowhere. “I’m impressed that A.C.E. got rid of so many of them.”

“We’ll keep our guard up, but that was probably the only one left. Jun said they ran in a pack. I guess having five people to fight them helped. Plus, Byeongkwan, Sehyoon, and Donghun are all good archers. I’m sure that was useful too.” Jongho sighed. “I’m sorry for putting you in danger.”

Yeosang shook his head. “Don’t blame yourself. We’re both going to be okay, that’s all that matters.” His heart rate finally seemed to be returning to normal. He looked over at the dog and couldn’t discern any movement, not even the slightest rise and fall of its chest. “I’m going to try to pull my knife back out, if that’s okay?”

Jongho nodded. “I’m ready. Be careful.”

Yeosang stood up and walked over to the dog slowly. He waited next to it for a moment, searching for any signs of life, before quickly bending over and yanking his knife out. He backed away quickly, still keeping his eyes trained on the dog. When it stayed still, Yeosang finally began to relax. He returned to where Jongho was sitting. “What do you want to do now?” he asked.

“I can keep going, what about you?” Jongho asked.

Yeosang nodded. “Yeah, same here.”

“It’d be a waste to go back now,” Jongho reasoned. “Besides, you know that once we tell Hongjoong what happened, he’s not going to be too enthusiastic about us coming back.”

“True,” Yeosang agreed. It was hard to debate that. He hesitated for a moment. “Would you like to stick together for a while, though?”

“That’d be good,” Jongho agreed. “Had you found anything useful in your house before you left?”

“I had only looked through one room, but I think so,” Yeosang said.

Jongho thought for a moment. “Let’s finish looking through this house, carefully, and then barricade the door on our way out. Then we’ll go look through yours. Sound good?”

“Works for me,” Yeosang agreed, pushing himself up and offering Jongho a hand.

Jongho accepted his help and stood, surveying the room in silence for a moment. He chewed on his bottom lip, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet. “I’m glad you came along. I keep thinking about what would have happened if I had been alone. I usually am and it’s always been fine, but…” Jongho took a deep breath. “Anyway, thank you.”

“It’s alright,” Yeosang said. He looked over at the dog, and then back at Jongho, feeling like he should say something more. “I wasn’t sure if you…no, well, I felt like I was intruding on you at first. By coming along. So…” Yeosang looked away from Jongho. “I’m glad everything worked out. Not that you got hurt! Just…that I was useful.” He glanced back up at Jongho quickly, scared of how he might respond. To his surprise, Jongho’s expression was sheepish.

Jongho scratched the back of his head with his non-injured arm. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t know basically anything about you. I knew Hongjoong trusts you and you’re part of ATEEZ now, but without ever really seeing much firsthand, it was kind of difficult just to accept.” He couldn’t quite look Yeosang in the eyes. “Plus, you’re always so quiet, I can’t tell what you’re thinking. And your thousand-yard stare doesn’t help.”

It was Yeosang’s turn to look sheepish. “Yeah, I know. I understand that. I just never really know…how, or what, to say. So.” Yeosang frowned. Forcing these words out took effort on his part. “I’m not really used to this. ATEEZ. Having other people…partners…friends…family…people who care about you…”

Hesitantly, Jongho reached out and patted Yeosang on the shoulder. It was a brief moment of contact before he withdrew, but he gave him a small smile as well. “I get that. I was the same way at first. You’ll get used to it in time.”

“I think I will,” Yeosang agreed. Jongho nodded, and the two boys stood awkwardly, not quite looking at each other.

“Well then,” Jongho said, clearing his throat. “Should we get to work?”


	23. Chapter 23

For the next few days, Jongho and Yeosang stuck together for all of the buildings they combed through. They worked their way through all of the houses near the front of the city, finally reaching the more industrial buildings. At this point, both Jongho and Yeosang were carrying a sack full of items to bring back to the ATEEZ base. Both of them still had a few bandaged wounds, but Jongho had already regained full use of his injured arm.

These industrial buildings were larger, and according to Jongho, both more likely to have useful materials and to have dangerous weapons left lying around, so caution was needed. It slowed down the exploration process considerably, even with two of them, and Yeosang was beginning to understand how Jongho was usually gone for weeks at a time.

“Think you can handle the back building by yourself?” Jongho asked, after a long morning spent on just one building. “It’d speed things up a lot,” he added, jabbing a thumb towards the pile of scraps he still needed to sort through. “And we should still be within earshot of each other if anything goes wrong.”

“You sure?” Yeosang questioned, although he wasn’t sure if he was asking more for himself or for Jongho.

Jongho nodded. “We can’t stay scared forever, right?”

“Good point,” Yeosang nodded, “I’ll be going, then.” One hand on his knife, he made his way out the back door of this building. The hinges were rusted, and the door would barely budge from its half open state. Eventually, he gave up trying to pry it open and slipped through it sideways instead. He walked down the path leading to the second, smaller building as quietly as he could. This building had fared worse than the one in the front. Most of its roof was gone, all of the windows were shattered, and the front doors had disappeared. Yeosang peered inside, giving his eyes a moment to adjust to the patterns of shadows caused by the few remaining stretches of the roof. He heard a rustling noise, but it was too far back for him to make out the source. Slowly, he edged forward, gripping the hilt of his knife. He didn’t want to imagine what kind of creatures might now call this building home.

He heard another rustling noise, followed by a clank as something was tossed to the side and bounced off the sheet metal walls. At the same time he unsheathed his knife, a figure stood out and turned around to face him. Taking a step forward into a patch of light, the man crossed his arms and asked, “And who are you?”

Swallowing, Yeosang involuntarily took a step back. The man shouldn’t have been intimidating. He was shorter than Yeosang, wearing a baggy shirt that looked a size too big with his sleeves pushed up. Yet his hands, arms, and neck were covered with colorful designs—words he couldn’t read, plants Seonghwa likely knew well, and startlingly lifelike animals. Yeosang had never seen anything like it before, and he couldn’t help but stare, his arm dropping to his side.

“Who are you?” The man repeated. He seemed almost amused by Yeosang’s reaction, as if Yeosang hadn’t been pointing a knife at him moments before.

“Yeosang,” he said slowly, forcing himself to look the man in the eyes. “Of ATEEZ.”

“ATEEZ!” The man’s eyes lit up, and he smiled widely. Any semblance of intimidation was gone. “That’s Hongjoong’s group, right?”

“Yes,” Yeosang blinked. “Wait, you know Hongjoong?”

“From a long, long time ago,” the man explained. “We’ve been trying to keep tabs on him, but information can be hard to come by.”

“We...?” Yeosang asked.

“Oh, right,” the man scratched the back of his head and laughed. “I’m Taeil of Block B. Hongjoong was an apprentice, you could say, of our leader Zico once.”

Yeosang had never heard of this before, but he supposed Hongjoong had to have come from somewhere. “Right,” he nodded. “I’ll, uh, let Hongjoong know we ran into you.”

“I know a good fishing spot nearby if you’d like to have a meal and swap stories,” Taeil offered. “Zico would love to hear what Hongjoong’s been up to. He sent Yukwon out to look for him a while back, but Yukwon couldn’t locate him. And recently, things have been too tense for us to go too far.”

Yeosang considered Taeil for a moment. He could, of course, be a danger. But his smile seemed sincere, and he hadn’t made a single move to hurt Yeosang so far. Besides, he held the promise of tantalizing information about what was going on up here, and Hongjoong had asked them to find out anything useful that they could. “Okay, I’ll go get Jongho,” Yeosang finally agreed.

“I’ll come with you,” Taeil said. He leaned down and picked up a small sack off the ground, slinging it over his shoulder. Then he raised his eyebrows and gestured for Yeosang to lead the way. Casting him one more glance, Yeosang turned around and made his way out of the building, avoiding the jagged rocks and scraps of metal that dotted the floor.

“Jongho?” Yeosang called out as he slipped through the permanently partially opened door.

“Find anything good?” Jongho yelled back.

“A person,” Yeosang replied, and he could hear Taeil snickering behind him.

“A—what?” Jongho exclaimed, jogging over to meet Yeosang just as Taeil came through the door. His eyes immediately went to the designs on Taeil’s skin, his mouth dropping open before he looked at Yeosang for explanation. Taeil was still smiling pleasantly, although once again he looked bemused by Jongho’s reaction.

“He says he knows Hongjoong and he didn’t try to hurt me, so,” Yeosang offered by way of explanation.

Taeil finally stepped forward. “I’m Taeil of Block B. Hongjoong and my leader Zico go way back.”

Jongho puffed out his cheeks and exhaled slowly. “That does sound vaguely familiar,” he acknowledged. “Block B…” he mumbled to himself, eyeing Taeil.

“He said he wanted to hear about what Hongjoong’s been up to, and also he had information about what’s been happening around here,” Yeosang supplied. He couldn’t help but wonder whether Taeil might also share what Hongjoong had been like back when he had known him. He found himself curious about Hongjoong’s past, given how little he knew outside of the incident with Joonyoung and Hongjoong’s time with Stray Kids.

Jongho’s stomach rumbled, breaking the silence. Taeil chuckled, “I also offered food, if you’re interested in that.”

That must have been Jongho’s tipping point, as he finally nodded. “Let’s hear him out,” he told Yeosang.

“Great!” Taeil said, “Do you two know where the nearby river is?”

Jongho shook his head. “This is the first time we’ve explored these ruins. We’re not too familiar with the area.”

“Right, just follow me then,” Taeil said, turning and disappearing out the door. Yeosang and Jongho made eye contact, and with a shrug, Jongho followed him. Taeil glanced behind him, and once he saw them both outside, began to scale the chain-link off to the left side of the buildings. “This way is fastest,” he offered. The fence was beginning to tilt over, allowing him more easily to reach the top, pull himself over, and begin scaling the other side.

“He moves so fast for such a tiny person,” Jongho muttered.

Taeil led them through the adjacent area, to which a forest was beginning to return. Soon, they could hear water bubbling, and a few minutes after that, they could see a river. Taeil had slowed down, his head swiveling as he looked for something. “I’ll be back in a second, just wait here!” he called, disappearing between two trees.


	24. Chapter 24

“Following a strange man into an unknown territory was sure a smart idea on our part,” Jongho sighed, taking in their surroundings. The river was relatively narrow, looking as though it would only take a minute or two to cross. It also didn’t seem particularly deep, although the murky color of the water made that hard to judge. 

“I don’t think he means us any harm,” Yeosang offered, although he too was checking for escape options. Just in case.

Jongho raised an eyebrow. “You never really struck me as the overly trusting type, to be honest.”

Yeosang blinked. No one had ever accused him of being _too_ trusting before. He sighed, trying to find the words for what made him trust this man. Did he assume that anyone who knew and liked Hongjoong must be a decent person? Yeosang couldn’t imagine saying that out loud as a justification, so instead he shrugged and said, “It seemed like a good opportunity for information. Besides, I’m sure the two of us could take him if we needed to. Couldn’t be that difficult.”

“I heard that, you know,” came Taeil’s voice from behind them, and both boys swiveled around. Taeil stood smiling, one hand holding a small wooden box and the other clutching a wooden stick with a woven cord hanging off it, ending in a hook. “I see that Hongjoong has taken in some confident boys.”

“That wasn’t—I didn’t—” Yeosang fumbled, still trying to work out how Taeil had ended up both behind them and within earshot so quickly.

Taeil set down the wooden box next to the riverbank and waved his hand. Chuckling, he said, “It’s fine. I’m used to being underestimated.” He opened the wooden box, shuffling the contents around until he found what he wanted. He put what looked to be a worm on the hook hanging off the stick before casting it into the water. Sitting back and holding the stick in one hand, he turned to look at the two ATEEZ boys. “You two are staring at me like you’ve never seen someone fishing before,” Taeil observed.

Jongho bit his lip and glanced to the side. “Well…”

Taeil leaned backwards even more to get a better view of them and nearly fell over. “What? How? Do you never eat fish?”

“We do, we just wade into the river and use a spear,” Yeosang supplied. He’d gone spearfishing with the N.Flying boys before, which had resulted in five boys drenched in water and only a few fish. He mostly blamed Jaehyun for instigating a water splashing fight that must have scared every fish within several miles away. 

Taeil clucked his tongue. “This way is much easier and more efficient. That’s why I keep my fishing supplies buried around here, it’s the easiest way to get a meal when you’re out exploring the ruins. Can you two start a contained fire? You _do_ know how to do that, right?” Taeil’s tone was teasing, although Yeosang wasn’t sure if he liked the underlying implication about their knowledge.

“For your information, I carry a flint and steel with me at all times,” Jongho informed Taeil. “Do you think I like the idea of freezing to death at night while I’m trying to sleep?”

“No,” Taeil conceded, “but I didn’t think you’d like the idea of trying to get fish by standing around in the water and trying to stab them, either. Ooh, hang on, I’m getting a pull. Wonder what it’ll be? Trout? Shad? Bluegill? Maybe bass if we’re lucky…” Taeil kept mumbling fish names to himself as he pulled the line in. 

Jongho huffed as he bent down, examining which branches would be best to use. Not wanting to feel useless, Yeosang joined him, and they swiftly set up a small fire surrounded by rocks. Moments later, Taeil had pulled one of the larger fish Yeosang had seen out of the water. Setting his fishing equipment aside, he pulled a small, folded knife from his pocket and set to work on the fish. “This is a striped bass, so we’ll be eating well tonight if I can just catch another two. You’re in luck,” Taeil said with a proud smile. Looking up at Jongho and Yeosang, his tone softened. “I’d be happy to teach you two about fish and fishing before we part ways, if you want. I know it’s hard to learn new things sometimes, what with how scattered around everyone is. I’m actually really excited to see you two, I’ve been alone for weeks now. Plus, I really thought we’d never find out what happened to Hongjoong. I hope I didn’t sound too harsh before.”

Once again, Yeosang found himself giving this man the benefit of the doubt more than he’d like. “It’s alright, we’d like to learn from you,” he found himself saying, although Jongho still looked stone-faced and unimpressed. It didn’t take Taeil much longer to catch two more fish, and he explained each step to Yeosang, who sat on the bank next to him. Jongho hung back near the fire, but Yeosang could tell he was listening. After cleaning the fish with his knife, Taeil found acceptable branches to skewer them on, and handed one to each boy to start roasting over the fire.

Jongho’s stoic expression finally crumbled after he took his first bite. His eyes widened, and he exclaimed, “This is good!”

“Right?” Taeil agreed. “I’m glad you like it. Though, this is a good time of year for fishing. You two got really lucky.”

Jongho just nodded as he devoured his fish. Yeosang took smaller bites, savoring each one. “Thank you,” Yeosang finally remembered to say, and once again Taeil waved his hand.

“No problem,” he said. He tilted his head. “So will you catch me up on what’s happened with Hongjoong and ATEEZ, then?”

Yeosang glanced over at Jongho, but he was still busy stuffing his face. Realizing the task was going to fall to him, he sighed and shifted into a cross-legged position, trying to figure out where to start. “Well, there’s nine of us in ATEEZ now, and Hongjoong is our leader.” Obvious, but he wasn’t sure what else to say. “Um, we have some other groups that we’re in alliances with. Different kinds of alliances. Some we protect, some more like equal partnerships. Uh…” Yeosang stared down at his half-eaten fish. “Hongjoong is a really good leader. Everyone listens to him, well mostly anyway, and I think we all really respect and appreciate him. He’s not pushy, but he’s always in command. It’s like you don’t want to disappoint him, but also you trust him and that he knows what he’s doing…” Yeosang’s voice got quieter and quieter as he spoke until he trailed off.

Taeil listened with one hand propping up his chin. “Sounds like Hongjoong has grown into a fine young man,” he said approvingly. “Not that it’s surprising, from what I knew of him back in the day. His biggest problem was always that he underestimated himself, but he was a very capable person.”

Yeosang furrowed his brow. “You talk like you’re a lot older than him, but you don’t look it.”

“Wanna bet?” Taeil said with a laugh. He scratched the back of his head. “Ten years or so. Something like that. Can’t really remember. Gets hard to keep track of time.”

Yeosang took a long, hard look at Taeil, trying to visualize what Hongjoong might look like in ten years’ time. He gave up fairly quickly. It was hard to picture Hongjoong as anything but the Hongjoong he knew today.


	25. Chapter 25

“Anyway,” Taeil continued, “Have any groups caused you any trouble? Has BTS or any of their affiliates made their way down to where ATEEZ is? Which reminds me, where exactly is ATEEZ located?”

Yeosang froze at the word BTS, and even Jongho paused his eating to cast a glance at Yeosang. When Jongho saw that Yeosang wasn’t going to talk, he finally filled in. “ATEEZ is located in the southwest, in the grasslands next to the desert, if you’re familiar with that. We’ve been having a bit of trouble with a group called NCT, but things are a standstill at the moment. What’s this about BTS?”

Taeil raised an eyebrow. “Ah, so they haven’t made it that far. I suspect it’s only a matter of time, though.” He licked his lips and held the bottom one between his teeth as he thought. “BTS has been taking over everyone and everything up here in the north. There’s only a few independent groups left, and it’s mostly because we stay just out of their way and they’ve deemed it not worth it to go after us. Yet.”

“Who’s left?” Yeosang heard the words leave his mouth, although it felt like someone else was speaking them.

“Us, that is, Block B,” Taeil said, counting on his fingers, “Mamamoo, GFriend, and B.A.P. Although I heard B.A.P. got into a huge fight with their protector, TS, and left that alliance, so I don’t know where that leaves them. I saw Yongguk, their leader, not too long ago and he told me they’re independent now. Hopefully that’s still true.”

Yeosang nodded. Once again, he heard himself asking a question. “What…happened to the rest?”

Taeil shook his head. “Scorched earth policy. Quite literally. You join them, or they burn your base down and you’re kicked off the land. They haven’t killed anyone, as far as I know. At least not directly. I suppose they haven’t needed to. Their strategy works quite well on its own.” Taeil paused. “Not having a proper base is probably part of the reason why they haven’t taken us over yet.”

“You don’t have a base?” Jongho questioned. His fish was long gone, and he was leaning forward, engrossed in Taeil’s story.

Taeil shook his head. “Not anymore. We have a series of places that we all know of, sometimes we meet up or leave messages to each other. It works well enough. Though. To be honest,” he said quietly, pausing for a moment and taking a deep breath, “Zico is gone. He left us.”

“You said Zico would want to know what Hongjoong is up to. You said he had been looking for us!” Yeosang said accusingly, the betrayal apparent in his voice.

“I think he would!” Taeil defended himself. “In theory. If I had any idea where he was, or how to contact him. He hasn’t shown up or left messages in any of those places I mentioned for almost a year now. The rest of us have all kept in contact, I spent some time with Kyung and Minhyuk before coming out to these ruins, actually. Jihoon is convinced Zico will come back, but…” Taeil shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of hope.”

Yeosang tried to imagine, for a moment, what his world would look like if Hongjoong suddenly disappeared. Would it leave him alone and on his own once again, or would the rest of ATEEZ stick together? That thought threatened to take him places he didn’t want his mind to go, so he forced it to the side and turned his attention back to Taeil. “What have you been doing, then?” he asked Taeil.

Taeil shrugged again. “Surviving. Keeping an eye on things. Waiting to see what happens next. The rest of us discussed it, we don’t want to leave this area yet. Just in case. Besides, it would feel too much like giving up. And we all agreed that’s the one thing we would never do.” His eyes flashed, the most fierce look in them that Yeosang had seen. Taeil let out a deep sigh. “Well, enough about us. Tell me some more about ATEEZ and how things are going down there. And in the morning, let’s arrange a place where we could meet and swap information. I’ll do my best to keep you updated about what BTS is up to, although they’re always a bit shrouded in mystery before their next move. But some warning is better than none.”

“That sounds good, I’m sure Hongjoong would appreciate it,” Yeosang said, and Jongho nodded. They spent the rest of the evening telling Taeil stories of ATEEZ, from their partnerships with Stray Kids and Dreamcatcher, to finding the injured members of Monsta X, to the tense negotiations with ATEEZ, and even some lighter stories about their interactions with A.C.E. and N.Flying. The last stories about N.Flying came courtesy of Yeosang and had Taeil nearly rolling with laughter at moments. Jongho mostly kept a straight face, although Yeosang could see his lip twitching sometimes.

As the fire died down, Taeil suggested they get some sleep, promising them fishing practice in the morning before they parted ways. As they said their good nights and cleared the ground of rocks for sleeping, Yeosang caught a sad smile on Taeil’s face by the light of the moon. Taeil caught his eye. “Thank you,” Taeil said quietly. “It’s been a tough time recently, but it’s nice to know there’s still hope out there.”

“Hope?” Yeosang questioned, unsure of how else to respond.

“ATEEZ gives me hope for the future. Not just Hongjoong, but all of you. And from the sounds of it, your allies. It makes me think that maybe the future isn’t as inevitable as it seems. So, thank you.” Without elaborating further, Taeil turned over on his side, indicating that he was going to sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

With his brain whirring and processing all this new information, it was difficult for Yeosang to fall asleep. Eventually, he must have passed out, though, because the next time he opened his eyes, light was filtering through the trees, and Taeil was already at the riverside, giving Jongho fishing tips. He pushed himself up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Jongho turned back to look at him and said, “Taeil has to leave pretty soon, so do you want to get that fire going again? We only have one fish left to catch.”

“Sure,” Yeosang agreed, fumbling around for the flint and steel in Jongho’s pack.

“So where are you two headed next?” Taeil asked. Watching Jongho, who was holding the fishing rod and eyeing the water suspiciously, he added, “Just keep your hands steady. Don’t pull it in too early. Patience is key to fishing.”

“Right, thanks,” Jongho said, suddenly becoming the picture of stillness. “Also, we were planning to head up and explore the buildings on the hill before we go back to ATEEZ’s base.”

“I learned from the best. Jaehyo is really a great fisher,” Taeil said, a fond smile coming over his face. Glancing over his shoulder towards the ruined city, he added, “You two can try exploring it, but I doubt you’ll find much. I’ve combed it thoroughly, and even before that, this was the edge of B.A.P. territory. Doubt you’ll find much.”

“We won’t spend too long here, then. But you never know what might have been overlooked,” Jongho decided. “Oh, I got a bite.”

Yeosang lost track of their conversation as he went further into the forest, gathering fuel for the fire. When he returned, his arms full of sticks, Jongho was holding a gigantic fish in his hands, and Taeil was clapping.

“That’s impressive. We’ll eat well,” Taeil said, and Jongho looked proud.

“Fire’s ready,” Yeosang announced, having begun to add the kindling. “I can start cleaning the fish, if you want.”

Jongho seemed reluctant to hand over his prize fish, but he put it in the bucket with the other two they’d caught and passed it over to Yeosang. Sitting cross-legged next to the fire, Yeosang pulled out his knife and began to scale the first fish.

Sitting down next to him, Taeil frowned. “Where’d you get that knife?”

“Hm?” Yeosang hummed, his eyes trained on the fish. “Oh, Hongjoong gave it to me.”

“Can I see the handle real quick?” Taeil asked.

“The handle? Hang on.” Yeosang finished scaling the fish, before holding the knife flat in his palm and turning towards Taeil.

Taeil studied it for a moment, before something at the bottom caught his eye. “Yup,” he said softly to himself. Looking up at Yeosang, he said, “Look at the engraving.”

“Engraving?” Yeosang held the knife up. Faintly, at the bottom of the handle, he could make out a tiny “Z,” underneath which was an even smaller “H.”

“That used to be Zico’s. He gave it to Hongjoong when Hongjoong decided to head out on his own.” Taeil paused. “Never thought I’d see it again.”

Yeosang stared down at the knife, Hongjoong’s smile as he handed it to Yeosang for the first time and his simple _you look like the type_ ringing in his head. “I hadn’t even joined ATEEZ yet,” he mumbled. “What was he thinking?”

Taeil raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Pulling out a much smaller knife of his own from inside of his ridiculously long sleeves, he took another fish out of the bucket and began to scale it. 

Jongho had watched the whole exchange silently, but he scooted closer to Yeosang. “Hongjoong was insistent you were going to be a member of ATEEZ from the start.” Jongho looked away from him. “Even when the rest of us thought he was crazy. He got into a whole fight with Seonghwa.” Looking back at Yeosang, he added, “That’s our leader for you, though. Hasn’t lead us astray yet.”

Yeosang just shook his head, unsure what to say. “I’m grateful to him,” he finally managed.

Taeil had listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt. In the time it had taken Yeosang to clean one fish, he’d already finished cleaning the two others and had begun roasting them over the fire. Sensing Jongho and Yeosang were done talking, Taeil handed them each a fish and asked, “Do you two know where the old bus station is?”

Yeosang whispered to Jongho, “What’s a bus station?”

“Yeah, it’s like a place where…” Jongho took a large bite of his fish and paused to chew. “A place…where people used to…well, they’d go there, and…then they’d go…places?” He looked over Taeil.

Taeil laughed. “You’ve got the general idea. People would go there and wait for buses, which were vehicles that could hold lots of people, to take them to other places. You don’t know where it is?” Jongho shook his head. “Ah, well, you’ll see it if you’re going to explore the buildings up on the hill. It’s on the way there. If you want to get in contact with me or anyone else in Block B, that’s the place to leave a message. One of us usually checks in there on at least a weekly basis. Anyway, you can’t miss it. The lettering that says city bus terminal somehow survived everything and is still on top of the concrete overhang.”

“That’s impressive, considering how bombed out most of this area is,” Jongho said. His fish was already long gone, and he dug in his pack for an apple, which he quickly split apart. He offered one half to Yeosang, who shook his head, and then towards Taeil, who raised an eyebrow but accepted it.

“Yeah, sometimes you find small pockets that seem to have survived by sheer luck,” Taeil observed. Having eaten the apple in just a few bites, he stood up. “I’ll be on my way now, but I’m glad I ran into you two. Give Hongjoong my best. Hopefully I and the rest of Block B will be able to meet all of ATEEZ someday. I can only hope the circumstances are, well…” He shook his head. “In any case, take care of yourselves. I’d recommend following the river on your way back, it’s probably the safest route.”

“Thanks, we’ll keep that in mind,” Jongho said.

Yeosang nodded. “And thanks for the fishing tips. And the…other information.”

“You’re welcome,” Taeil said with a smile. With a small wave, he turned and disappeared into the forest. Jongho and Yeosang watched him leave.


	27. Chapter 27

“We should think about going ourselves,” Jongho said. “We already have quite a bit to report to Hongjoong, and he doesn’t like it when we’re gone too long, anyway.” He said this last part with a grimace.

“What’s the longest you’ve been gone for?” Yeosang asked as he checked he’d put everything into his pack and sheathed his knife.

“I was gone for a month once,” Jongho said. Once he was satisfied that both he and Yeosang had all of their belongings, he began to walk back towards the city and continued, “Or maybe it was a bit more. I sort of lost track. When I got back, I thought Hongjoong was going to cry. It’s the only time he’s yelled at me. One of the only times I’ve seen him lose his temper, period. He thought I had left ATEEZ or died, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing another member…” Jongho trailed off, clearly entranced by the memory. After a few minutes of silence, Jongho shook himself out of his trance. He bit his lip. “Did Hongjoong ever tell you about what happened with Joonyoung?”

“Yeah, he did,” Yeosang wasn’t sure how much he should say about that conversation with Hongjoong. “Given how painful it was for him, I can see why he would have been so worried about you.”

Jongho shook his head. “Worried is an understatement. It took months before he let me out again on my own. Longer for him to trust me to make my own plans about where I wanted to explore. I was upset about that at the time, but now, well, I get it.” They had emerged out of the forest and reached the edge of the city limits. “Speaking of exploring, let’s get back to that,” Jongho said, clearly signaling the end of his desire to discuss the topic further.

As Taeil had predicted, most of the buildings they found on their hike up to the top of the hill had been thoroughly investigated already. They passed the bus terminal, which Taeil had also correctly flagged as easily identifiable.

“Might as reach the top at this point,” Jongho suggested. “Shouldn’t take us too much longer. An hour tops, I’d say.” He paused. “Yeosang?” It had taken him a moment to realize the quieter boy had fallen a good forty feet behind.

“You should probably come back here,” Yeosang said, not turning to face Jongho.

“What is it?” Jongho asked with a sigh, turning around. The hill they were climbing was sheer, with slippery mud and sharp rocks, making it difficult to descend.

“I found someone again,” Yeosang said, still not moving a muscle.

Jongho lowered his voice. “Have they spotted you yet?”

“We’re staring at each other right now, so I’m going to go with yes,” Yeosang responded, his voice completely deadpan. 

Jongho shook his head and sighed again. “We’re in trouble if they take your stare as a challenge. And knowing our luck…”

“There’s three people now, headed towards us,” Yeosang informed Jongho. His body was tense, and his fingertips rested lightly on the handle of his knife, although he hadn’t unsheathed it.

Jongho had finally scrambled down to reach Yeosang and followed his line of sight. He had never looked to his left when climbing up the hill, since he’d been more focused on finding his footing. As a result, he’d missed the plateau tucked behind the tree line, upon which rested several metal buildings in an L shape. Three figures were quickly striding towards them. The man in center was tall and lanky but carried himself with confidence. He was flanked by two men, both shorter than him, but who walked with just as much confidence.

It wasn’t until they got closer and stopped that it became apparent they were all carrying guns. The man in the center had two pistols strapped to his thighs, while the other two men had rifles slung across their chests.

“We’ve really done it this time,” Jongho muttered. “How did they even _find_ all of those?”

Yeosang was still locked in a stare down with the man in the middle, but he gave a barely perceptible shrug. “Who knows. At least they’re not pointing them at us.”

“Yet,” Jongho added, under his breath.

The man in the middle took a step forward. He finally broke eye contact with Yeosang, eyes flickering over to Jongho. “Hello. Who are you two?”  

Adopting his most neutral and diplomatic voice, Jongho said, “We’re from ATEEZ, and we were just here to explore these ruins. We had no intentions of trespassing.”

“ATEEZ,” the man repeated, and he looked back at the two other members, who shook their heads. Eyes narrowing, he said, “Never heard of you.”

“We’re located down in the southwest, quite a ways away,” Jongho explained. “We’ve been travelling for a good while.”

Before the man could respond, Yeosang suddenly blurted out, “Are you B.A.P?”

The man looked taken aback for a moment. He nodded slowly, although his eyes were still narrowed. “Yes, we are. How did you know?”

“Taeil of Block B mentioned you,” Yeosang explained. To Jongho, he quietly added, “Look at the torn flag on the building in the distance. You can see their name.”

The man seemed to relax slightly. “Is that so?” He considered Jongho and Yeosang for a moment, before quietly conferring with the two men behind him. “You can come speak with our leader, if you’d like.”

Yeosang and Jongho shared a brief glance and a mutual understanding that this offer was more than a gentle suggestion. Reluctantly, they stepped forward, Yeosang dropping his hand so it no longer rested on the handle of his knife. 


	28. Chapter 28

It took them only a few minutes to reach the closest building. The tall man pushed the door open, revealing a well-lit but messy room. Books, mechanical parts, food supplies, and guns were littered across the floor. Crates were stacked across the room, being used as makeshift seats and tables, and there was a ladder at the back for no apparent reason. In the center of the room, a man sat hunched over, intently reading a book. Drawings were scattered around his feet. Towards the back of the room, another man was eating. A third and final man was picking things up off the floor, and Yeosang could hear him saying—with a clear intention of not being subtle—“it’s been a week, one week, how is it already so messy?”

The man in the center of the room snapped his book shut and looked up at them. “Welcome back,” he said. Tilting his head slightly, he asked, “Who are the visitors?”

“A…Atee…A…” The tall man looked back at Jongho and Yeosang, and Yeosang could swear he saw a hint of embarrassment on the man’s face. “I’ll let them introduce themselves,” he concluded, gesturing for them to step forward.

The man in the center chuckled, then looked at Yeosang and Jongho expectantly.

“I’m Jongho of ATEEZ,” Jongho said, trying to sound confident without invoking any false bravado.

“And I’m Yeosang,” Yeosang added. He noticed that the man in the center of the room managed to look at them while studiously avoiding eye contact.

“Our leader is Hongjoong,” Jongho continued, “and we’re from the southwest. We were just here exploring the ruins. We didn’t realize any groups inhabited this area.”

“In fairness to you, that was true until recently,” the man in the center said. Standing up, he added, “I’m Yongguk, leader of B.A.P. I don’t like this violence,” he gestured towards all the guns, “but it’s my duty to keep my group safe from any harm.” He didn’t speak loudly, but each of his words carried weight. “To that end, I must ask: are you allied with either TS or BTS?”

“TS?” Jongho furrowed his brow. “I have no idea who that is. But no, we’re not associated with either of them. In any way.”

“It’s their former protector, the one they left,” Yeosang said. He thought he’d spoken quietly enough that only Jongho would hear him, but Yongguk looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t have thought word of that had already spread to the southwest,” Yongguk said. He spoke without still quite meeting Yeosang’s gaze.

“It hasn’t,” Yeosang shook his head. Jongho gave him a perplexed look. “Taeil mentioned it. He said you, uh, B.A.P., that is, got into a big fight and left the alliance with them.”

Yeosang wasn’t sure who looked more surprised, Jongho or Yongguk. “How did you remember that?” Jongho asked.

“It was interesting?” Yeosang asked, not sure what the right answer was.

Yongguk laughed, although there was a hint of bitterness to it. “Interesting is certainly one to describe it.” He paused. “Perhaps that’s a story for later. You two are free to leave, if you want. With the understanding, of course, that we’d rather you not reveal our location to anyone. These are volatile times.” His words hung in the air for a moment before he continued, “Or you can stay and we can talk more. It’s your decision.”

“We could stay a short while,” Yeosang offered, his eyes darting over to Jongho, who gave him a small shrug. He wasn’t about to make a sudden habit out of trusting strangers, and he could still feel his anxiety bubbling beneath the surface. Yet the prospect of further information was too tantalizing to pass up.

“Take a seat, then, and let’s all do proper introductions,” Yongguk said. The other boys, who had been conversing in hushed whispers punctuated by muffled laughter throughout most of their conversation, straightened up at this. They dragged crates forward until they formed a loose circle, leaving Yeosang and Jongho to take between Yongguk and the tall man.

When no one spoke for a moment, the man who had been eating earlier began to talk. “I’m Himchan.  I’m basically in charge of making sure the rest of these guys stay alive. Which ranges from making sure they have food to eat to taking care of them when they do dumb things.”

“And yet you can’t even pick up yourself,” grumbled the man who had been complaining about the messiness earlier. “I’m Youngjae,” he added, “and I’m in charge of coordination, planning, logistics, and apparently, making sure we don’t drown in our own filth.”

The man next to Youngjae was doubled over laughing, but he straightened up when he realized it was his turn. “I’m Daehyun. I’m the mechanic, and a guard when I need to be. As you saw earlier.” He glanced at the man next to him, and when he didn’t speak, nudged him.

“Oh, uh, I’m Jongup,” the man said. He scratched the back of his head. “I’m an explorer and a guard.”

“And I’m Zelo,” said the tall man, finally revealing his identity. “Head guard and hunter.”

All eyes turned to Jongho and Yeosang once Zelo finished speaking. Jongho shifted to a more comfortable position on his crate before saying, “I’m Jongho, and I’m ATEEZ’s primary explorer and scavenger.” His look to Yeosang indicated that he, too, should keep it short and sweet.

“I’m Yeosang,” Yeosang said, “and, I’m, well. I do…a little bit of everything?” He looked over at Jongho, who shrugged.

“So what brings to you to these parts?” Himchan asked. Yongguk had stayed silent this entire time, though he seemed to be intently observing everything that happened. He leaned forward, his hands clasped and his chin resting on them.

Jongho considered the question for a moment, responding carefully, “I’d passed by the ruins of this city before, but I’d never had a chance to fully explore it. It is a fair distance from our base, but I felt confident exploring it since I had Yeosang to accompany me.”

“We also weren’t sure when we would next be able to come up here, as we’ve heard that tensions have been quite high,” Yeosang said, trying to steer the conversation towards the information he desired. “We weren’t sure if it would be too dangerous soon, as we’d heard that BTS had been making some moves but never received any details.” The words felt awkward and clunky coming out of his mouth, but Yongguk seemed to have taken the bait. He straightened up and pursed his lips and began to speak after deliberating for a moment.

“It’s true that tensions have been high,” he said. “BTS seems intent on controlling this entire region, although I doubt they’ll stop there.” He paused again, collecting his thoughts. “B.A.P.’s freedom is my priority. We maintained our separation from BTS through TS’s protection for man years, but that was a false freedom. I think the fight against TS took its toll on all of us,” he said, looking around at each of the B.A.P. boys. The jovial whispering and elbowing that had punctuated most of the conversation thus far had stopped. Each of the boys wore a serious expression, looking off to the side as if they were reliving memories they’d rather forget. “When we left TS, I was determined that we would not go from one prison to another,” Yongguk continued. He was leaning forward again as he spoke. “And I knew that as soon as they heard the news that we were triumphant but weakened, BTS would have been onto us. Telling us to become their vassals or face the consequences. And so, even though we had just won control over it, we left our base behind. We’ve been on the move ever since. It’s far from the ideal situation, but we’re together as six and able to forge our own path. That’s what matters most.”

“We’re still figuring out a long-term strategy,” Youngjae said. “It’s not as simple as just moving to another region and asking to be left alone. Besides, leaving the north would feel like running away. And running away…” He looked over at Daehyun.

“…Would feel like giving up, which is something we’ve never been too fond of,” Daehyun finished.

“The future is uncertain,” Yongguk concluded, “but sometimes just surviving is a victory.”

Jongho nodded. “That’s understandable,” he said. From the tone of his voice, Yeosang could tell Jongho was still struggling to sound diplomatic and confident, although his eyes kept drifting to the pile of guns in the corner. “I believe everyone in ATEEZ would feel the same way in a similar circumstance.”


	29. Chapter 29

Zelo inched closer to Yongguk, whispering to him for a moment. Yongguk listened to him and nodded along, before whispering something back. Zelo turned to Jongho and Yeosang and began, “Things are worse up here than you might realize. A few days ago, I had to,” he paused, his jaw clenching, “escort Hyunbin off this property, and make sure he wouldn’t—couldn’t—talk about anything he had seen.” A look of pain flashed across his face, and his words hung heavy in the air. “JBJ were our friends. We’ve known them for years. But they got overtaken by BTS, and are under their umbrella now, which means…I had no choice.” He clenched his fist. “It’s not something I ever wanted to do, and yet, I know it won’t be the last time.” He spoke this last sentence softly. Yongguk had listened to him in silence, a worried look on his face.

Jongup had opened his mouth as if he was going to speak several times. Chewing on his lip, he finally said, “When groups get taken over by BTS, well. They say they’re being merciful. You’re taken care of, and I’ve heard their base is amazing. Bigger than anything you could imagine. But, um.” He rubbed his head. “That comes at a cost of obeying everything they say to do.”

“BTS say they’re going to build a new world order,” Zelo added. “And it seems like some of their followers have actually bought into it. Maybe they had to, in order to feel better about what they’re doing.”

Every time they mentioned BTS, Yeosang could feel a pain jolt across his chest. He dug his fingernails into his palms, forcing himself to repress all the memories that wanted to come flooding back. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, being so eager for information despite how much it hurt to hear. His thoughts were jumbled, and it took him a moment to realize he’d voiced one of his questions out loud. “Why are you even trusting us with this information? We’re strangers.” Jongho looked at him, startled. Yeosang’s question hardly fit the diplomatic tone he’d been struggling to maintain.

Yongguk, though, didn’t seem particularly bothered. He took a moment to think, and when he spoke, his words were slow and deliberate. “I’m not in the habit of making enemies upon my first meeting with someone, although I’m not naïve enough to trust everyone we come across. I want a world that’s at peace. I do my part to work towards that, when I can.” He hesitated. “To be honest, some days I don’t feel the war has really ended. The past few years feel more like a ceasefire than a proper conclusion. Until peace returns and we build a society built on equality and respect, I don’t think we can say it’s really over.” He had been looking at the floor as he spoke, but he raised his head for his next words. “If you agree that BTS’s path isn’t the way forward, then I believe it’s the right decision to give you an idea of what you’ll be up against. There’s so few groups left up in here in the North who are still resisting. Groups down south being more prepared before BTS arrives might be our only chance.”  

Yeosang didn’t quite know how to respond, and it didn’t seem like Jongho did either. Despite his quest for information, Yeosang had never fully processed the idea that someday he would have confront BTS himself. Yet Yongguk’s words made the reality of it crash into him head-on. Would anyone in BTS recognize him? Clearly 8Eight hadn’t succeeded in their plan to overthrow BTS, so what had happened to him? Had anyone from 8Eight even survived? If they had, did that mean would 8Eight be with BTS? He could feel his chest getting tight, and he tried to force himself to take deep breaths. He could feel Yongguk looking at him, and heard him ask, “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” he choked out.

Jongho reached out to him, hesitantly resting a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?” he asked, but Yeosang could only shake his head. Yeosang tried to order his thoughts, but the harder he tried the more muddled they seemed to become. Yongguk looked ready to say something but opted to remain silent.

“Do you know many groups are under BTS at this point?” Jongho asked, trying to take the attention off Yeosang.

Jongup shook his head. “I try to keep track when I go out exploring, but lately it’s been too dangerous for me to even get close to their base. There are guards posted so far off from the actual base itself…” He shook his head again. “It’s impossible.”

“I’ve been keeping track of what we do know for a few years now,” Youngjae said. “Extrapolating from that, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have two hundred people at their command. Maybe more.”

“Two hundred,” Jongho repeated. His face paled, although he managed to keep his stoic expression. “I’ve never seen that many people in one place before.”

“Most of us haven’t,” Youngjae agreed. He pushed himself off his crate, heading for the back of the room. He crouched down, searching through a pile of papers, books, and miscellaneous bits and pieces of wood and metal. “It’s somewhere around here…if some people just hadn’t made a gigantic mess of things…” He gave a pointed look to Jongup and Himchan, who both looked off innocently. Yongguk shook his head and chuckled.

“I usually just step on their messes,” Daehyun volunteered with a laugh. “Maybe over, if I’m feeling generous.”

Youngjae rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t help me _find_ anything though, Dae. Oh, wait. Here.” He pulled a small black book out of the bottom of the bottom of the pile. Thumbing through it until he reached close to the back pages, he hummed to himself and nodded. “Yeah, at least two hundred. Probably more, I assume the rate at which they’re subsuming groups has picked up.”

“Damn,” Jongho said. He looked over at Yeosang, who was still staring at the floor, spaced out. “Well, Hongjoong will appreciate this information greatly, so thank you.”

Yongguk had been watching Yeosang, but he turned towards Jongho at this last statement. “Hongjoong? Is he your leader?”

Jongho nodded, “Yes, he is. Sorry, I should have clarified.” Next to him, Yeosang sat up, looking slightly more alert.

Yongguk looked lost in thought for a moment, before shaking his head. “Name sounds familiar, but I can’t place it.”

“Hongjoong seems to have a lot of connections, so maybe you met him once,” Yeosang offered quietly, his voice finally returning to him.

“Sounds plausible,” Yongguk agreed. He studied Yeosang, taking in his tired face and pale color. “Perhaps you two should head back soon to pass this information on. I don’t anticipate the situation around here getting any more stable.”

“We could escort you part of the way to help keep you safe, if you’d like. We know some routes that can get you out of this area quickly,” Zelo offered, looking at Yongguk for confirmation, who nodded. Given Zelo’s earlier statement, this could have sounded threatening, but his tone was sincere.

“We’d appreciate that,” Jongho agreed. Inclining his head towards Yeosang, he asked, “Shall we?”


	30. Chapter 30

Yeosang pushed himself off his crate, doing his best to hide the initial wave of dizziness that hit him. “Yes, let’s go.” He paused and blinked, his vision still blurry. When he could finally see again, he cleared his throat and looked over to Yongguk. “Um, thank you for trusting us with this information.”

“Yes, we’ll be sure to make good use of it. And hopefully our paths can cross again with B.A.P in better circumstances,” Jongho added, his diplomatic tone returning.

“Something for us all to hope for,” Himchan said. Yongguk just nodded along, seemingly lost in thought again.

Zelo made his way to the entrance, Jongup trailing him. Taking that as their cue, Jongho and Yeosang followed them out the door. Rather than take them back to the path they had originally deviated from, Zelo and Jongup led them in the opposite direction. As BAP’s building got further and further behind them, Yeosang finally said, “I do have one question.” It came out so quietly at first that he was surprised Zelo heard him.

“What’s that?” Zelo asked, his eyes still trained forwards. They were entering into a thicker part of the forest, and Yeosang noticed that one of Zelo’s hands was resting on one of the pistols strapped to his thigh.

“If you’re all in hiding, why do you have a flag on your building with your name on it?” Yeosang asked, and he could immediately see Jongho give him a pained look that meant he had definitely run afoul of diplomatic niceties once again.

Zelo, however, didn’t seem bothered by the question. He hummed for a moment, before giving a small shrug. “We’ll move on again soon anyway, and Yongguk said it’s important to maintain pride in who we are. No one should be able to take that away from us. So the risk is worth it.” Yeosang made a sound that he intended to sound affirmative, although he wasn’t sure it was even audible.

“We don’t like fighting, but it’s how we’ve stayed alive this far,” Jongup added, “So we’ll do what we have to.” He had been so quiet until up this point, melting into the shadows, that Yeosang had almost forgotten he had come along. He approached Zelo, who leaned down slightly so Jongup could whisper to him.

Straightening and looking more relaxed, Zelo said, “Alright, it looks like the forest is clear. We’ll take you to the edge of it and show you the path down. From there, just find the river and follow it back to your base. That should be the safest route.” It was the same advice Taeil had given them, which Yeosang found reassuring.

“Thank you for accompanying us,” Jongho said. He attempted his diplomatic tone again, but at this point he sounded too tired for it to be convincing.

Zelo shrugged. “We needed to scout this area anyway.” He picked up the pace, leaving Yeosang and Jongho struggling to keep up with his long strides. Despite his smaller stature, Jongup would disappear for minutes at a time, but always reappear in front of them. Yeosang guessed he was using the trees somehow, but his brain was still too foggy to fully process everything happening around him.

When the trees began to thin out again, a sheer cliff edge came into sight. “There’s your way down,” Zelo said. “You may have to slide a bit, but just take it slow and you’ll be fine. Be careful and return back to your base safely.”

“We’ll do our best,” Jongho promised. Noticing that Yeosang seemed zoned out again, he grabbed his arm and pulled him along. Yeosang snapped out of it long enough to engage in the final exchange of waves, before Zelo and Jongup turned and disappeared back into the trees.

Surveying the cliff, Jongho turned to Yeosang, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not going down this until I’m sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” Yeosang said, vaguely registering how dead his voice sounded.

“Bullshit,” Jongho said. His bluntness startled Yeosang enough that he looked up and made eye contact with Jongho, who sighed. “You haven’t been fine since we started talking about BTS. Even though you brought it up. There it is again,” he observed, noting how Yeosang’s eyes flashed and he shrank away from Jongho’s touch.

“I’m fine,” Yeosang repeated, moving to start climbing down the cliff. Jongho gripped his shoulder harder, stopping him from moving.

“You’re not going anywhere like this. I’m not having you pass out halfway going down this cliff.” Yeosang swore that Jongho was channeling Hongjoong in this moment, because he was almost convincing. “If you don’t want to talk about it, we’ll sit here until you don’t look like you’re on death’s door.” As if to make a point, Jongho sat down next to the edge of the cliff.

“They’re probably watching us,” Yeosang countered weakly.

Jongho rolled his eyes. “I’m sure they are, but I’m also sure none of them thought you were in good condition, either. Yongguk certainly didn’t. Now, sit.”

Yeosang gritted his teeth and looked away from Jongho, but after a moment he lowered himself to the ground. His heart was pounding, and he felt like he might jump out of his skin at any moment. Jongho stayed quiet as Yeosang focused on his breathing. Finally, Yeosang’s heart no longer felt like it might burst loose from his chest, although it was still racing too quickly. Yeosang closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he looked over at Jongho. “Could you,” he said, clenching his teeth and forcing the next words out of his mouth, “help me get down this cliff? I would…” He sighed. “I would like to get back to ATEEZ.”

Jongho looked him up and down, then stood up and offered him a hand. “Alright. Let’s do this. I’ll go first and find the footholds. You follow me. And if you’re feeling dizzy, tell me.” He emphasized these last two words.

“Okay,” Yeosang agreed. He watched Jongho descend for a few moments before following. He tried to focus only at the task at hand: the feeling on the dirt beneath his fingers and the sensation of firmer soil that wouldn’t give way when his feet moved downwards. Thinking about anything else would send him into a swirling vortex of unhelpful thoughts. Even now, he could feel them needling him at the side of his brain: _look at how useless you are, holding Jongho back, if you can’t even manage this you don’t deserve to be part of ATEEZ._ Every time the thoughts crept closer, he forced himself to focus harder on descending the cliff.

“You okay?” Jongho stopped briefly to check in when they had made it about halfway down.

Careful to keep his eyes on the next foothold, Yeosang responded, “I’m managing.” Jongho seemed satisfied with this more truthful answer and continued picking his way down.


	31. Chapter 31

They reached the bottom without incident, and Jongho brushed his hands off. “Alright, now we just need to find the river.”

Yeosang listened for a moment before pointing to their left. “It’s that way.”

Jongho smiled. “So you are feeling better.”

Yeosang shrugged. “Not perfect, but yes, better.” As they fell in step heading towards the river, Yeosang added, “Thank you. For caring about me, I mean.”

“Of course,” Jongho said, still smiling. His authoritative voice from earlier was long gone, and his tone was soft. “You’ll get used to it eventually, really. I promise.”

“Mm,” Yeosang agreed. It was hard to imagine, but he wanted to believe in the possibility.

Jongho hummed for a bit as they walked. Finally, he said, “So, we’ll be back soon enough. Any idea of how we should explain everything that happened to Hongjoong?”

Yeosang fell silent, replaying the events in his own mind. “There’s been…a lot,” he said. Tilting his head, he added, “We’re close to the river. Should see it in a few minutes.” The vegetation around them grew thicker, and Yeosang pushed branches out of the way as he led Jongho towards the river. They both breathed a sigh of relief when it came into sight.

“I’ll take responsibility for telling Hongjoong what happened with the dog,” Jongho decided. “How you saved my life.”

“You don’t have to…put it that way…” Yeosang mumbled.

Jongho shook his head. “I do, because you did. Simple as that. Hongjoong will chew us out for putting ourselves in that kind of dangerous situation, but I’ll take the blame. It was my decision to go there, after all. Can you explain to him everything that happened with Taeil and B.A.P. and everything?” Jongho frowned. “Honestly, you’re better than me at that kind of stuff. I don’t quite get how, but somehow you make it work.”

“If you want me to, I’ll do my best,” Yeosang agreed.

“It’s a plan, then,” Jongho said. “Hopefully all of your useful information will distract him from the whole endangering our lives bit.”

Yeosang looked over at the river rushing past them. “I mean, we could have been endangering our lives collecting that information. Didn’t turn out that way, but it crossed my mind more than once…”

“Please don’t put it that way to Hongjoong,” Jongho groaned. “We will never hear the end of it if you do.”

“I know, I know!” Yeosang protested. “I’m not that senseless.”

Running a hand through his hair, Jongho sighed. “I sure can’t wait to get home.”

* * *

 

“So, let me get this straight,” Hongjoong said, looking at Jongho and Yeosang, who were both seated at the table across from him. He had excitedly greeted them when they had returned, asking Seonghwa to fix them a meal while he listened to their report. That excitement, however, had quickly faded once Jongho began talking. Hongjoong continued, “You went into an area that you knew was dangerous, with someone who had never gone out exploring before, and then split up. Is that correct?” Hongjoong’s eyes bored into Jongho, who did his best to meet Hongjoong’s gaze.

“You gave me permission to enter that area,” Jongho said defensively. Yeosang’s eyes flickered back and forth between Jongho and Hongjoong before he returned to staring intently at the table.

“I gave you permission with the understanding that you were to use the utmost caution,” Hongjoong said, his voice steely. “Not for you to go barging in at the first chance, throwing caution to the wind. What if Yeosang hadn’t heard you? What if it had overpowered both of you, or left one or both of you seriously injured, far away from base? Did you think this through at all?” His fist was clenched, and even though Yeosang wasn’t the direct recipient of his words, it took all his willpower not to shrink away.

Jongho grimaced. “I thought with two of us, it would be safe. We stayed within earshot of each other. And I know Yeosang’s a good fighter.”

“You know that _now,_ ” Hongjoong said, his voice raising as he leaned forwards. “You hardly knew a thing about Yeosang when you two left. That’s the entire reason I sent you two off together.” His face softened, and he dropped his volume back to its usual level. “I’m glad you two learned to trust each other, and Yeosang,” he turned his gaze towards him, “I am incredibly grateful that you saved Jongho’s life. Thank you.” His words were simple, but Yeosang knew the weight they carried.

Yeosang raised his head, chancing brief eye contact with Hongjoong, who smiled at him. “Of course,” was all he could manage.

Hongjoong looked back at Jongho, and the frustration returned to his voice. “But Jongho, you know better than to put yourself or anyone else in ATEEZ in this kind of situation. That’s why I’m disappointed in you.”

Jongho winced. “I know. I’ll be more cautious in the future, I promise.”

Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, surveying the two. He sighed, and when he spoke again his voice was quiet. “I will never forgive myself if anything happens to anyone in ATEEZ. At the end of it all, I take responsibility for everything that happens to you. So with that in mind, please think more before you act in the future.”

“I will,” Jongho promised again.

“Me too,” Yeosang echoed.

Hongjoong nodded, satisfied. “Was there anything else of note that happened?”

Jongho looked over to Yeosang, who cleared his throat. “Uh, yes, actually. A fair bit. We ended up…” He trailed off, searching for the right word. “We ended up communicating with two other groups and finding out some valuable information about the situation in the North.”

“Oh?” Hongjoong clasped his hands. “Go on.”


	32. Chapter 32

Yeosang studied the table for a moment, collecting his thoughts. When he spoke, he forced himself to look at Hongjoong. “We encountered Taeil of Block B first. He was quite friendly once he realized we were associated with you. Apparently they’ve been trying to keep track of you, but they haven’t been able to because of how dangerous the situation in the North has become. And also because, um, Zico left them. Taeil said—”

“Zico _what_?” Hongjoong had been nodding along until Yeosang got to this last part, but now he cut him off.

Yeosang bit his lip. “He left. None of the other Block B members have seen him in a year. Apparently some of them still have hope he’ll come back, but Taeil didn’t seem optimistic.”

Hongjoong sighed, rubbing his temples. “This is all going worse than I thought,” he mumbled. “Sorry, continue.”

“Well, the good news is that the rest of Block B is staying in contact, even though they don’t have a formal base. And right now they’re refusing to abandon the area. And Taeil gave us a way to contact them, I think they’d be on our side if things came down to it. Taeil also gave us a better idea of the general situation in the North, as I was saying.” Yeosang steeled himself for what he needed to say next. “BTS has—they’ve taken over almost everyone up there. All the groups that are left, independent, are essentially on the run. I think. Based on our meeting with B.A.P.”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “You met with B.A.P. as well?”

Yeosang nodded. “Yes, they left their previous alliance and are independent now. Their leader, Yongguk, seemed to think your name sounded familiar, have you met him before?”

Hongjoong nodded. “Only once. It was a very long time ago, too. It left quite the impression on me, though. So how did the meeting with B.A.P. happen? And what did you learn?”

“We unknowingly stumbled on their temporary base,” Yeosang began, “Or rather, some of their members spotted us, and then—”

Yeosang was interrupted by the door to ATEEZ’s base flying open and slamming into the wall. San burst through, panting. “Hongjoong! Hongjoong!”

“What is it?” Hongjoong stood up, his chair clattering backwards. Casting a glance towards Yeosang and Jongho, he said, “Finish telling me about this later, please.”

“Monsta X, almost here,” San said between breaths. “Wooyoung is guiding them. I’m here for heads up.”

“All of them?” Hongjoong asked, and San nodded. “Thank you for letting us know,” Hongjoong said, and San gave him a thumbs up, still doubled over and catching his breath.

“All of them…” Yeosang trailed off, looking at Hongjoong. “So that means…”

“Jooheon and Changkyun made it,” Hongjoong finished, a smile breaking out across his face. “Finally, some good news.” His joyous smile lasted only a moment before his leader mode returned. “Yeosang, go tell Seonghwa the news. We’ll want to offer our guests a meal. Jongho, go find Mingi—he went west this morning, but he said it was only to see how the last rainstorm changed the landscape, so he likely hasn’t gone far. San, how many members are there total?”

San straightened, running a hand through his hair and humming. “Seven. I think.”

Hongjoong nodded. “Pass it onto Seonghwa, Yeosang. And I still want to hear about the rest of your trip to the North later.”

“Alright,” Yeosang agreed. He made his way back into the cooking area, where he found Seonghwa simultaneously chopping vegetables and keeping an eye on a pot hanging over the open fire. “Seonghwa?” he asked.

Seonghwa jumped and turned around, knife still in his hand. “Oh, it’s you, Yeosang. Jeez, you startled me. I’m not quite done cooking yet, sorry. What’s with all the commotion in the main room?” He turned, returning to chopping vegetables. 

“San just told us Monsta X will be here soon,” Yeosang said. “All of them. Including Jooheon and Changkyun.”

The knife clattered onto the counter, and Seonghwa whipped around to look at Yeosang. “They made it?”

Yeosang nodded. “It sounds like it.”

Seonghwa looked off to the side, but Yeosang could see the water pricking the corner of his eyes. “Lucky idiots, the both of them.” He shook his head. “That many miracles for the same two people…” He picked his knife back up, although his hands were shaking. He cleared his throat. “Let me guess, Hongjoong told you to tell me to prepare food for them, too. How many of them are there?”

“He did,” Yeosang confirmed. “There’s seven of them.”

Seonghwa sighed, but he was unable to keep the smile off his face. “Typical Hongjoong. You can tell him if he wants me to be feeding twelve people, it’s going to be a while longer.”

“I think it’s more than twelve people, since Wooyoung is leading them here, and Hongjoong sent Jongho to get Mingi.”

“Twelve, fourteen, whatever, it’s a lot. It’ll be a while. Now shoo, let me figure this out,” Seonghwa said, waving away Yeosang with his free hand. Despite his tone, Yeosang could see he was still smiling. As he ducked out of the cooking area, he could even hear Seonghwa humming to himself.

Yeosang returned to the main room, where only Hongjoong and San were seated. Hongjoong was drumming his fingers against the table, eyes fixated on the door.

Taking a seat next to Hongjoong, Yeosang said, “Seonghwa says it’ll be a while before he finishes cooking.”

“That’s fine,” Hongjoong replied, eyes still fixated on the door. “Was he happy to hear the news?”

“He sure seemed it,” Yeosang said.

“Good,” Hongjoong smiled. “It’s because of his efforts that they’re alive. I’m grateful to him. I hope they healed well.”

Yeosang tilted his head. “We’ll find out in just a moment. They’re almost here.”

“How do you know—” Hongjoong cut himself off, shaking his head. “Never mind that. I have an important question for you, then, Yeosang, before they arrive.”  

“Yes?” Yeosang looked at Hongjoong attentively.

“I’ll have to get the full story later, but what would you say the odds are of us securing an alliance with Block B? And B.A.P.?”

Yeosang chewed on his lip, replaying their interactions in his mind. “Taeil seemed to really want to connect with ATEEZ in the future. I don’t know how much power he holds in the group, since Zico is gone, but I’d put good odds on Block B being open to an alliance. B.A.P…” Yeosang sighed, rubbing his temples. His memories of the meeting with B.A.P. were slightly clouded. “Harder to say for them. They emphasized their independence, but they also are very clearly opposed to BTS and were willing to us near strangers on the off chance we’d be able to fight back against them. So, maybe…a situation like Dreamcatcher?” He offered.

“Alright, that’s good to know,” Hongjoong said. “Do you think—oh.” Before he could finish, the door swung open.


End file.
